Қit•kȺt

“...And if I can’t manage to save ya, then make sure you die, got it?!”

The feeling faltered, sputtered, and Mammon tried to chase it. Tried to get it back, tried to fill up a chest suddenly feeling hollow, a raw and painful disappointment digging its claws in.

“It’s me or no one, understand?”

You questioned why in a voice that sounded a lot smaller in your own ears than what he’d heard and he snapped that it was his job, and Mammon... Mammon hadn’t meant to sound so harsh back then, Mammon hadn’t meant to say it so loudly.

That was the clearest memory.

Mammon slipped into others - different times, different places, the only thing consistent was him, his stupid mouth, and the heavy feeling in your chest.

So many moments Mammon hadn’t thought twice about. So many times he’d tried to dodge the truth. So much wasted potential, your happiness constantly stolen from you by his stupid mouth.

Mammon hadn’t meant to. He always just... He got embarrassed by that sorta stuff, and he’d never thought that you might like him back. Not that way.

Mammon didn’t want to fuck up the one good thing that’d happened to him in centuries. The one person other than his brothers he could get close to. So he’d tried not to change things.

As the memories went on, the they’re just a puny humans and the how’d I get stuck on babysitting duty’s went on, the pain in his, in your, chest stayed the same. But Mammon felt less and less of the feeling before it, the care, the way you looked into his eyes and your heart fluttered.

Was it because the flashes of memory were getting faster, lingering less on each one?

Or was it because that feeling was fading away?

Mammon couldn’t tell the difference between his pain and yours.

You deserved, fuck, you deserved so much better than a demon who couldn’t be honest with you, than a demon who hurt you like this, you deserved better than Mammon.

Mammon woke up with tears blurring his vision.

You called his name and when he met your eyes all he could see was the pain he’d caused you, the heartache, the slow washing away of your hope.

“I love ya.”

“Mammon, what-”

“I love ya, I love you, I do,” Mammon babbled, reaching out for you and collapsing into your arms when you offered them to him, still, despite everything.

“I love you, MC, I always have, I’m an idiot, I’m sorry, please believe me…”

Mammon didn’t care about Solomon and Simeon watching this scene with wide eyes.

All that mattered was that you knew the truth.

Mammon would never deny you that again.

Levi

This might actually be Levi’s worst nightmare come to life.

Suddenly, he's seeing himself through your eyes. Worse, he can feel what you feel.

Worse worse, it's during the TSL quiz. Before all the gaming nights, and the anime marathons, and the conventions, and the concerts, and-

Levi was stuck for a moment, unsure whose feelings were whose - if the panic, disgust, and embarrassment he felt were his or yours.

But your feelings felt foreign. Softer, kinder.

You weren't annoyed by his long-winded answers.

You weren't grossed out by his otaku ramblings.

You were surprised, almost... impressed?

Levi's self-esteem rose to levels it hadn't seen since he'd been a general in the Celestial Realm.

You also felt a little guilty... Was it because your questions were way easier? Levi wouldn't hold that against you, you were just a TSL initiate right now!

Levi only wished he'd gotten close to you sooner. He would do anything to have seen your face the first time you'd watched the TSL movies! How come stupid Mammon and Beel got to! Levi would've appreciated it more!

Oh, it would’ve been amazing! Levi would make sure that you weren’t interrupted by any of his brothers, of course you would watch the extended editions. You’d be so absorbed with the movies, Levi could look at you without worrying!

And maybe you'd be so focused he could feed you some popcorn and-

No! Too high level!

Levi was so lost in his fantasy he almost missed you pulling out your secret weapon.

Ah, right.

“I won’t stand for this!”

Levi had let his envy get out of hand.

“All you did was stay up late one night marathoning the DVDs!”

You hadn’t disliked him before you made the pact, or at least you hadn’t hated him…

“The idea that someone like YOU could actually be a bigger TSL fan than me, it’s…”

Past Levi was going to change that now.

Mammon called for him - weird, Levi didn’t remember that.

Your heart hammered in your chest, the sudden appearance of Levi’s horns and tail sending adrenaline running through you.

“No… no, I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!”

You cried out for Mammon, stumbled, fell backwards as Levi ran at you.

You hit the floor all wrong. Sharp pain made you and Levi hiss, your wrist collapsing under your weight.

The pain and fear left you shaking on the floor with a demon towering over you.

Ha. Even a pathetic shut-in like Levi could look scary to a fragile human…

Lucifer intervened but your eyes never left Levi. Fear pulsed through you, tears blurred your vision… it had all happened so fast, Levi felt dizzy. Or was that from you, too?

Humans were so delicate, even Levi had known that, so why did he...

Levi was left dazed. It took you calling his name several times before he realised he was awake.

He opened his mouth, ready to let his usual self-loathing comments slip out - how he was a gross otaku, worthless scum not worth your time, an awful demon who didn't deserve a pact with you - but only a choked off whimper came out, so he hid his face in his hands instead.

Fingers brushed against his hair and Levi tried to make himself smaller, half-expecting pain to follow. It was only what he did to you

You weren't like that though. The touch stayed gentle and Levi shook underneath it.

Was it okay for him to be happy with this, even if he didn't deserve it?

Beel

Beel hadn’t been listening, so it was a shock to suddenly be thrust into a body that was much... smaller.

He hadn’t had to look up at Mammon this much since he was a child! And why was he in the kitchen at the House of Lamentation? Wasn’t he just at the Demon Lord’s Castle? Why was Mammon whispering and creeping about? Why did Mammon call him MC- oh.

Looking down at himself he saw your hands, but lacking some of the marks and scars you’d earned in your time in the Devildom.

More importantly, where your shirt rode up, Beel could see your stomach - and a distinct lack of his pact mark.

Despite starting to put the pieces together, the sight still panicked Beel - he tried to reach out for your bond and only calmed down when he felt it, reassured your connection was still there.

In fact, it was stronger than ever.

He could feel your fatigue, almost like how he felt Belphie. He could feel your annoyance at Mammon, tempered by affection.

And then, Beel tasted - tasted delicious custard, his favourite flavour bursting across your tongue.

Delicious, but… did that mean…?

Beel - you - froze when Beelzebub walked in.

Beel knew he was tall, knew others had to crane their necks to look up at him, but he’d never truly appreciated what that meant until now. In your body, feeling your heart rate pick up and your adrenaline spike as the other Beel towered over you with a dangerous expression.

“Did you actually eat my custard? Answer me, Mammon!”

His voice boomed in your fragile human ears. Was Beel always this loud? Was he always this intimidating?

You’d always treated him so gently. Beel loved that about you, loved how he felt like something precious in your arms.

Beel could barely hear Mammon’s stuttered explanations over the sound of your heartbeat. Beel knew people got scared of him. He was big, his face didn’t show much expression, and everyone thought he was one empty stomach away from making them his next meal.

You’d seen past that, you’d gotten to know him; Beel, not the dumb jock or the Avatar of Gluttony, but Beel, the sixth-born, the protector.

Beel felt bad about how he’d treated you at first but he hadn’t realised… he didn’t think about…

You were a fragile human and the Avatar of Gluttony was in your face, crowding over you, stomach rumbling and teeth showing.

Beel hadn't realised how badly he'd frightened you.

You closed your eyes and Beel could tell from your senses that you were on the ground - you weren’t hurt, he hadn’t pushed you, you were just staying low and out of the way as kitchen appliances and dishes crashed and broke.

Beel felt arms around him - around you. Mammon, Mammon there to calm you down and keep you safe.

At the time, Beel had been angry with his brother. Now he wanted to thank Mammon. Mammon had protected you before Beel had even thought to.

A final, overwhelming bang filled the air, the sound of something collapsing in, and Beel knew the wall of your room was gone.

The last thing he felt was a sob choking its way out of your throat.

Beel woke up to your hands running through his hair, looking down at him with gentle eyes - a stark contrast to the position he’d just experienced.

Beel put his hand over yours and squeezed.

“I’m sorry.”

You sighed and shifted his head onto your lap, leaning over to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“I know, Beel, I know.”

Asmo

In truth, Asmo was a little excited!

Naturally he noticed he was in your body right away - Asmo had made it his mission to memorise all the details of whatever you would show him, and he was quite familiar with your hands.

It took him a little longer to identify the time - you were in the Demon Lord's Castle, and he could see himself and Simeon. Your eyes were on him - of course! - and he was posing, but not for you.

For a... oh, he remembered that statue!

This was the retreat!

You were watching him with amusement, a bit of affection (he'd like a bit more, but this was still early days, he'd forgive you) and... annoyance?

What?

The argument with Satan and the others happened, the other Asmo stormed off, and you followed after. Asmo got a rare view of his back from another's perspective, but he was much more concerned with the emotions he could feel through you.

Nervousness, he could understand - after all, you were clearly looking for a private conversation with him!

But why anger? He'd just been having some fun...

And why fear?

Asmo considered it as you began your conversation with the past him. He knew now that this had been for Belphie, so maybe you feared for his sake? The thought still weighed on him a bit, but Asmo knew your intentions were nothing but good.

If anything, it was kind of sweet how far you were willing to go for his family...

Asmo's attention was drawn back to the present - the past - by a bolt of fear.

Your body was now pressed up against a cool pillar, the sudden change in temperature forcing a shiver down your spine.

The past Asmo was leaning over you and... Asmo was confused. His face was as flawless as ever, his hair was perfectly curled, and yet...

...What was with his expression?

"I was trying to charm you. You know, like I did with down in the labyrinth. You saw how I tamed Levi's old pet snake, right?"

Asmo could hear a hint of frustration in past him's tone that made you squirm. He couldn't blame you. Normally he'd be happy to be so close to another person, but Asmo was suddenly very, very aware of how fragile you were.

"You're just a human. Yet, for some weird reason, it seems like my power doesn't work on you."

Asmo tried to argue with his past self. You weren't just a human, you were his darling MC! Unfortunately, your lips seemed sealed shut.

"Even so, if you think you can control me, well you've got another thing coming!"

Asmo knew he could be mean. Obviously! He was a demon, after all! Still, he didn't... he hadn't thought about you that way in so long, he'd forgotten you weren't always so close.

Your voice, which had sounded fine from Asmo's memory, trembled in your own ears. Maybe he just hadn't been paying enough attention to you in the past?

"Me? Make a pact with you? Hahaha!"

Asmo's tone was cutting, mocking, searching for any crack in the bravery it took for you to follow a demon off to some unknown part of the castle.

Your confidence wilted as he continued to mock you, the current Asmo trying to process what was happening.

How could he ever have treated you so thoughtlessly?

How could he ever have missed how precious you were?

How did you feel about him now?

Asmo woke with his eyes already searching for you, throwing himself towards you as soon as he heard your voice.

Asmo showered you in compliments even as you tried to calm him down, desperation creeping into his tone.

He was wrong, MC! Asmo would never tear you down like that again!

Please don’t hate him!

Satan

Satan had always regretted his actions on the day he asked you to make a pact with him.

At the time, he hadn’t considered your feelings at all. His thoughts were centred on annoying Lucifer, and you were a convenient means to that. And when you, a mere human, refused him, the fourth born, the Avatar of Wrath…

Satan knew he was wrong. His wrath had flared up with you as the target. But you had forgiven him, helped him, and as time passed and your relationship continued to blossom, Satan could almost forget how your relationship started.

At first, experiencing it through your eyes was alright.

Satan felt your sympathy for him when he spoke about his origins - your emotions flowed through him as strongly as his own, and it jarred him to look into his own eyes and feel the overwhelming urge to reach out.

The depth of your emotion, your kindness to him when he had admitted to wanting to use you… Satan let himself feel it all, hoping this experience could help him understand you.

He watched himself speak, the offer of a pact on his tongue, and even while he felt your confusion he cringed at his past self.

You were infinitely more than just a tool to use against Lucifer. He had to have been blind not to see it at the time.

Satan breathed in your determination, your hope, your love as you rejected his offer of a pact. He knew the worst was still to come but he just couldn’t help and enjoy understanding this part of you.

Truly, you were a remarkable human.

And then…

Satan watched his anger mount. Fear was not something he was totally unused to, but it was different, in a human.

He felt how fast your heart rate picked up, the foreign urge to run sending signals to his legs he couldn’t follow, trapped in your body.

“But I will make you suffer if you cross me, and it will be much more cruel and much less humane than anything my brothers would ever do.”

Satan had said all that… with such a smile upon his face?

How could he have ever, ever threatened you so calmly? If any demon spoke to you like that now, Satan would tear them apart.

“I’ll slice of your nose and ears, rip off your arms and legs, and feed you to the lower-level demons!”

No no no, he wouldn’t, he would never!

Your fear raced through him and Satan didn’t know how to process it.

Never in his life had he felt so helpless. Helpless against the demon before him. As the intensity of your fear increased Satan struggled to remain an observer, barely recognising himself as the past Satan approached you.

Satan’s back was against the wall, the Avatar of Wrath looming over him, and he couldn’t calm his breathing down. If things kept going like this, he would- you would- Satan needed to get you away from here, away from those bright green eyes and snarling mouth, but your legs wouldn’t move.

“Listen well, human, if you dare say you won’t make a pact with me again, you’ll pay for it with your…”

His heart beat out of your chest, his breathing sped up, and Satan couldn’t find where his fears began and yours ended.

Satan understood now. All this time, he’d been competing for your affection.

But he’d destroyed any chance he had before he’d even gotten off the starting block, hadn’t he?

How could you ever forget this? This desire to run, to get away - his whole being thrummed with it.

His more demonic instincts insisted he deal with the threat before him. The blond, green eyed demon that threatened you, the monster out of your nightmares.

The sheer relief upon Lucifer’s arrival made Satan unsteady. In trying to hurt Lucifer, Satan had set him up to play the hero for you.

At least you were out of danger. The Satan from the past backed away with a huff and a sneer.

Satan knew what came next - the book, the body swap, your quiet understanding and encouragement.

How much of that affection was real? How much was masking your fear?

When Satan came back to himself, to the present, to his brothers, some recovering, some still caught in the spell-

Satan met your eyes and he tried to back away, but his legs still trembled from fear and he stumbled, inelegantly falling back and landing hard against a table.

Apology after apology spilled from his lips, Mammon and Asmo both looking at Satan with understanding but what did they know? They’d never almost killed you.

Satan squeezed his eyes shut when you reach out, not sure what he expected. His heartbeat still pounding in his ear screamed a hit, a hit, but Satan knew you wouldn’t.

He breathed out when you caressed his cheek, the other hand drawing him closer to you.

Satan trembled in your grip, but held you tight. He would do anything to make sure you never felt that fear again, from him or from anyone else.

Lucifer

Lucifer was quick to understand the situation - and quick to swear revenge on Solomon.

Lucifer wondered what memory it would be, though.

Almost certainly his confrontation with you, Beel, and Luke, a source of shame he’d rather not return to.

However, Lucifer could manage that. Diavolo had intervened before anyone had been harmed.

If not that, then surely the dance? He’d actually hurt you in that instance - though you were certainly intelligent enough to know he wouldn’t try anything serious so publicly.

Lucifer wasn’t expecting to be in the library.

Lucifer couldn't follow along with the conversation.

Lucifer tried to remember anything like this happening.

“You went up those stairs, didn’t you? You knew you weren’t allowed to, but you did it anyway? You went up there and… and you met Belphegor?”

This hadn’t happened. Was this a nightmare of yours? Lucifer discovering you had met with Belphie before… before that time?

“Do you really find it so amusing to poke your nose into our business at every opportunity? Do you enjoy stirring up trouble that much?”

His demon form spread its wings.

Lucifer had experienced every imaginable emotion in his long life.

From a human, though, those feelings were intensified.

You were truly helpless against him without the pact - and your racing heart, your quick breathing, the lump blocking his throat were all foreign to him.

This felt real, but how? How could this have happened?

“You, a mere human? YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT!”

Power pulsed from this nightmarish version of himself, pain lighting up your nerves just from your proximity.

Lucifer grit his teeth - or you grit yours - and tried to back away, muscles locking and working against you.

A cold feeling spread across your body. You truly believed you would die here.

Damn it, this wasn’t a dream.

But it wasn’t him.

The other timeline.

Lucifer shared your feeling of relief when his brothers intervened, Mammon putting himself between you and Avatar of Pride.

Lucifer had hoped this would calm the other him down but it didn't, your relief giving way when you see that Lucifer seemed to barely acknowledge Mammon or Asmo.

And then Beel, Beel who’d overheard the conversation, Beel furious at what Lucifer had done, Beel who got between you and Lucifer and demanded answers that Lucifer would never have been willing to give.

Your heart dropped as Beel was sent across the library, crashing into bookshelves and splintering wood.

Lucifer heard his brothers cry out. Beel’s groan of pain, Levi’s concern, Asmo’s protest.

It was you who checked on Beel, knelt beside him and turned his head towards you and wiped splinters from his face.

This, at least, was unfortunately familiar to Lucifer.

Why did you have to defend his family from him?

“QUIET!”

Your gaze once more fell on Lucifer. Fear and determination ran through you in equal measure. Was this what you felt in Lilith’s tomb? Was this what you felt when you went up to the attic despite his threats? When he crushed your hand in that dance?

Mammon, Asmo, and Levi stood between that Lucifer and the two of you. Satan moved to flank.

Even through his fear and yours, Lucifer could feel proud of his brothers, of you. Looking out for each other, protecting each other, even if it had to be from him.

“All of you get out of here right this-”

Lucifer woke as the library door opened.

Despite no longer being in your body, Lucifer’s breathing was still too fast - he forced himself to calm down, only taking in his surroundings when he was certain he was back in control.

His brothers were mostly conscious, but exhausted. You tended to Satan. Solomon was bothering Mammon.

You called out to him when you noticed he was awake, and Lucifer opened his mouth but found himself unsure what to say.

You only gave a soft smile of understanding.

Lucifer winced - you must be well aware of what he’d just seen and almost certainly didn’t want to discuss it.

Lucifer had hoped you could feel safe with him, safe in his home and confident that he would protect you.

There were so many possible options for your worst memories of him. So many times he’d threatened to kill you and almost seriously injured you and he had truly hoped you could feel safe with him.

Lucifer ran a hand through his hair, resigned. At least you could rely on his brothers.

A pressure on his shoulder had him focused on you again, his hand rising to meet yours on instinct.

There were no words, only your soft smile. Reassuring him that you saw past the monster he was.

Belphie

No.

No.

No no no no no no no no

Belphie knew what was coming.

As soon as he realised where he was - in your body, opening the attic door for the first time - he knew what was going to happen.

This didn’t make sense. You shouldn’t remember this. This happened to the other you, the one that disappeared in Mammon’s arms.

Please, please tell me this is a dream.

Belphie could feel your adrenaline, your confusion, but also your hope. He couldn’t read your thoughts right now, but he could feel the way your heart leapt as the door opened easily in your grasp. Could feel your lips open in a smile as you approached him.

Just run. Just leave me there and run. Lock the door behind you. Get Lucifer. Anything. Anything but this please.

Belphie watched as his own eyes fluttered open and met yours, drowsiness fading to confusion moving to alertness as his past self took in the sight of you.

Please no. This wasn’t right. You shouldn’t even remember this, wasn’t it the other MC? No, no please don’t remember this.

Belphie watched himself smile and laugh as he realised he’d been freed. You smiled too, but Belphie could feel the seed of doubt in the pit of your stomach. It was the only thing that matched what Belphie was feeling now - sick.

“Now I can finally achieve what I set out to do.”

Belphie tried everything he could. Every trick he’d learned to change a bad dream, every way he could think of to get himself to wake up. He tried focusing on the feeling of your body and taking control, tried to make you run away.

Instead, you opened your arms to the wretched demon in front of you.

For a moment, Belphie hoped. Hoped that despite all the similarities this was just a bad dream of yours, that you didn’t really remember experiencing his greatest sin.

But the pain quickly dashed any hope of this being a human’s nightmare.

“You’re so stupid that I can’t help but laugh. Don’t blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for falling for it.”

Don’t talk to MC like that, you bastard. You… how could I…

Belphie couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t breathe. Belphie felt your lungs burn, your breaths choked away, your heart desperately trying to pump oxygen through your body.

“If you die, the exchange program will be ruined, and Diavolo’s reputation will be in tatters.”

Who cares! You were more important than some stupid grudge!

Belphie could feel, along with your physical pain, the betrayal that brought tears to your eyes - or was that the lack of oxygen?

Under the betrayal though, was disappointment.

Belphie had pieced together parts of the story before now, but disappointment meant-

They knew I hated humans. They knew I might lash out. Maybe they didn’t know I would do this, but they still knew I was dangerous.

Belphie wasn’t sure if the pain he was feeling in his heart was yours or his.

They helped me even though they knew I couldn’t be trusted.

“I have to say, seeing a human face twisted in pain like this… why, it’s so much fun that I can barely stand it! I… I can’t contain my laughter!”

Your vision was getting fuzzy, but Belphie could see what you saw. A monster. A cruel, hateful demon. Your murderer, in all his disgusting detail.

Your body shook with Belphie’s laughter, sending jolts of pain everywhere. Your bruised ribs, your crushed throat, your head that felt like it might burst.

Belphie felt the tug of sleep, but it wasn’t like he was used to.

There wasn’t any peace. Just a pain in your head, a fuzziness over everything.

The other Belphie’s laughter faded. Your body started going numb.

Please, please no, don’t die, please no no no, he didn’t want to feel you die, you deserved better than this.

Belphie felt your senses fade one by one. He felt your heart stutter, stutter, stop. Your lungs finally gave up on the breaths that weren’t getting through.

Please please please he’s sorry, he was so so stupid, he knew better, please, please don’t leave him-

A voice called out - barely heard, achingly familiar, a glimpse of a figure surrounded by light-

Belphie woke up to a familiar pillow - your lap.

Belphie scrambled back, head smacking against a table leg - you reached out but all Belphie could see was hands reaching for his neck and he whined, phantom pain lancing through his throat.

From around the room, his brothers looked on. Belphie couldn’t bear to meet their eyes. His bond with Beel spoke of empathy. Belphie didn’t think the rest of his brothers would be so generous.

Instead of reaching for him again, you rested a hand on his calf, gently rubbing circles with your thumb. You spoke to him slowly, soothingly, like he was a scared child and not your murderer.

Belphie wanted to hug you, but… but no, no he couldn’t.

So instead he reached back and gripped onto your sleeve, sobbing, apologies barely intelligible, not caring how pathetic he looked.

Belphie sobbed until you directed Beel to pick him up.

It wasn’t right. How could you try to take care of him? He should be kept as far away from you as possible. How can you look at him? Did you somehow forget?

Did you really forgive him?

From Beel’s arms, he can hear you tearing one into Solomon.