its okay for me to poison the kings wine i have really big boobs
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@prognostichannya
its okay for me to poison the kings wine i have really big boobs

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i love this guy
if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills with my first two wishes, my third wish would be that sabrina carpenter would get gradually taller. she'd be in on it and think it was hilarious. we'd have a strong cap at 7 feet here, maybe an inch a week so people have time to theorize--let's not be ridiculous. but she'd still keep up the "ooh! im so little and small!" schtick. but shed be gradually getting taller. she'd be like 6'1" and still jumping for the microphone. and she'd never say anything about it. and if anyone asked shed act like she had no idea what they were talking about. and shed cheekily play into it a little bit but mostly still keep up the "ooh im so little and small" schtick. do you see my vision. do you get it
ok and so if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills in one wish i would do the sabrina carpenter thing second and third i would wish for all evidence of one random taylor swift song to disappear from the world once every month or so. taylor would have no memory of it. her fans would remember it and there would be an outcry over where it went (it's not even in concert videos anymore!) but taylor would have no memory of it
instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out
and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis
and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:
weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short
at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat
most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?
anyway thats what id do if i met a genie
Trans women are just strictly superior at everything I guess.
Truly speechless at this. "Cis women are so dainty and fragile that moving chess pieces for too long exhausts them."
Please acquire some self-respect (and maybe learn statistics). I am taking psychic damage over here.
So much of transphobia is just exaggerated sexism (or reheated homophobia).
This one is always on my mind. And always relevant.
"it's not a thought crime if you post it because then it's not a thought it's something you said" ouhhhhh my God Can we all just throw ourselves into a river. they're inventing Posting Crimes. you did a Post Crime when you made that silly little kink post. it's only a thought crime if you only think it AND you have to hate yourself for thinking it you have to flagellate every day and be miserable and you have to bathe in boiling hot holy water to absolve yourself and cleanse yourself. you fucking Post Criminal. posting your Thoughts that are Criminal (not a real definable category that matters btw)
can we please talk about how the most miserable people on this website have such a backwards-ass idea of how to deal with intrusive thoughts. like, "it's only an intrusive thought if you perform exactly how disgusted you are by it!!" this is The opposite of what they tell you to do like actually. if you spend all your time wringing your hands over every single bad thought you have that only reinforces it!!!! you need to let it go. it's a thought it cannot hurt you and it isn't what makes you. and you don't need to performatively retch over how despicable the thought may be to an imagined jury. It Doesn't Matter. It's A Thought. Not An Action. And No Simply Saying It Aloud Or Writing It In A Journal Or Posting It To Your Blog Or Writing A Story Doesn't Make It Any More Real Either. Can We Please Stop Being The OCD Reinforcement Website

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Totally normal for a legitimate for-profit company to refuse to reclaim or stop running their products even after they're no longer being paid to do so. I'm sure it's very normal to just keep running your service for free when your contract's been terminated. Spending money to continue running cameras that supposedly no one is looking at is definitely not an indicator they are just run by the federal government to spy on everyone and only a wacko conspiracy theorist would think so.
Source
urban cyber grunge is when you are a piece of shit who goes out side at night during winter and takes a pic of a street lamp and whispers “fuck yes.. im posting this to my fuckedup side blog with no followerz” then you browse the internet and laugh about bitcoins. you love being a pice of shit. you love urban cyber grunge
"let's talk exclusively about crimes in which the suspect is black" was literally what bill o'reilly was doing on fox news when i was in elementary school 20+ years ago, and it was as tired and obvious then as it was back when the nazis were doing it about jews in the 30s, and now trans-men's-rights activists on tumblr are announcing "hey, anyone who would like to describe real or imagined sex crimes exclusively by trans women please form a line for the hate megaphone" like they think they just came up with something new
aw, you poor little guy, did the "women YOU'RE allowed to abuse" start talking to each other? you had to put them back in their place? eat shit & die
The motherfucker behind it is literally claiming it can't be open to transfems because it'll be "overwhelmed by the amount of transfem-on-transfem violence".
Like huh, what a novel idea to claim that it's actually the targeted minority group doing all of the violence against itself, that way you're both claiming they're the most violent AND you can disregard any of their experiences since 'they just do it to themselves you see'. We've definitely never seen that one used in like, I dunno, claims of violent black men or anything. It's not like a well known white supremacist's last words were minimizing gun violence with this strategy or anything.
Very unhappy with the way people are using Argentina's embarrassing national team from this world cup to portray Argentinians as uniformly right-wing and nefarious, so I'd like to share a bit about two Argentinian futbolistas who are some of the coolest people in the sport's history. One extremely globally famous, and one not well known outside Argentina.
First, of course, must be Diego Maradona.
One of the greatest players of all time, yes, and an unashamed anti-imperialist. While most of his political work came after his retirement, he was a champion of working class politics and a very vocal critic of the US-led global campaigns of violence. Oh, and he was good friends with both Fidel Castro and Hugo Chávez ^_^
If you've followed fútbol for a while, you know about Maradona! And if you're new to it, you should look him up to learn more, very interesting guy!
The second player I want to highlight is much less famous, but an extremely cool figure in the sport: Mara Gómez!
She's the first openly transgender player to play on any first division team in Argentina, and one of the very few trans women in the world who plays professionally in a women's league! I think she may be the only trans woman in the world ever to play on a top flight team, but I'm not sure. In a time where the presence of trans women in women's sports is a hot-button issue for reactionaries around the world, and many professional women's fútbol leagues are outright banning trans women from participating. Even facing such hostility, she remains an advocate for the inclusion of trans women in sport, and uses her platform to highlight and condemn violence against trans women.
She's also a nurse, which I just think is cool :)
Her politics are not as explicitly socialist or anti-imperialist as Maradona's, and she does not have anywhere near that kind of global stature, but I still think she's a very cool player and person.
So, this got long, but really what I'm getting at here is that Argentine futbolistas — and, obviously, Argentinians more broadly — are not a monolith, and everybody needs to stop using them as a cudgel to be hateful toward Argentina and its people. Thanks for reading if you got this far :)

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As a transmasc survivor of SA by both TME and TMA people, I want to let you know that it's people like you who make me feel unsafe sharing my experiences with being SA'ed by someone who was TMA. I don't feel safe sharing super vulnerable trauma when it can be swept up into an attack on a minority group such as what you are spinning here. You and other transmisogynists and transphobes are the reasons I am silenced. Not TMA people. You and people with similar views and harmful actions are the reason I don't have my "voice."
i hear you, and i am sorry that you have felt silenced. that is a heavy thing to carry, and i want to be clear about why this space exists.
this project is not an attack on a group. it is a response to a pattern of behavior where people use their identity as a shield to avoid accountability for harm. when someone is sexually assaulted or groomed, the identity of the person doing the harm does not make the act okay, and it does not mean the victim should be quiet about it.
you say it is people like me who silence you, but the reason you feel like you cannot speak is because of a culture that tells survivors they are "transphobic" if they dare to name their abusers. that is a form of gaslighting. nobody should be forced to choose between their identity and their safety, and nobody should be forced to protect an abuser just because they share a demographic label.
i am not asking anyone to attack a minority group. i am asking for survivors to be allowed to tell the truth about what happened to them without being told they are hurting the cause. if sharing a story about abuse makes someone feel "unsafe," it is usually because they are worried about the optics of the community, not because the survivor is doing anything wrong.
you are welcome here to share your story if you ever want to. i promise that i am not interested in "spinning" anything. i am interested in the truth, and the truth is that survivors deserve to be heard, regardless of who hurt them. 💙
I thought we didn't condescend to and infantilize transmascs around here? I thought we didn't treat them like they were too stupid and naive to understand and articulate their own feelings?
is this space about listening to transmasc survivors, or is it about treating them like misguided children if they disagree with you?
is this space about transmasc voices, or is it about talking down to transmascs when you yourself are self-admittedly not even transmasc?
is this space about truth, or is it about warping and editing the experiences of survivors to fit your transmisogynistic narrative?
WAIT IT'S NOT EVEN RUN BY A TRANS GUY?
*checks blog* IT'S RUN BY A FUCKING CIS WOMAN???
People don't fall for the most obvious terf indoctrination pipeline challenge (impossible!)
atheist atheist: İ don't believe in god because İ believe in dialectical materialism, which is incompatible with belief in god
religious atheist: İ don't believe in Gd because Hashem commands us to seek truth and dialectical materialism is truth
agnostic atheist: nobody knows why İ don't understand dialectical materialism
why are your i's so long
because of the material conditions
I feel like starfish are one of those animals that are treated as very “normal” by people but absolutely shouldn’t be. Like they’re a wheel of repeating heads connected by a central stomach. They walk around using thousands of tiny sticky hydraulically powered tentacles. They have an eye on the end of each arm. Instead of having a mouth they just have an opening where their entire stomach can be pushed out to engulf prey. And they’re just allowed to exist like this. It’s not illegal or anything.
discord dms aren't enough I need to lounge on a sofa and have besties lounge on me
how are we feeling, fellow touch-starved transfems?
the typa shit "noooo I'm maybe a Kinsey 0.5" people say
Dorothy Keener: MILF Hunter

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unemployed girl is a species of creature that needs twelve hours sleep every day and six to eight hours of cuddles and maybe something else
this is still the worst vinny noise ever
donald duck prostate orgasm noise