hemlock.

[text] I can’t take you seriously when you’re using that many emojis.  [text] Im not drunk eveyone is just blurry [text] Could you be anymore dramatic?  [text] You need more friends… or a therapist…  [text] All you do all day is sit around and google pictures of baby animals!  [text] I just miss you. That’s all.  [text] New rule.. every time you say his name I get to punch you. [text] You’re going to hell for sure now.  [text] Why is there a life size cardboard cut out of Harry Styles in my bedroom? [text] I really don’t care…  [text] Oh no, I’m not doing that again. [text] I’ve seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy like 3 times. I practically have a PhD. [text] Do whatever you want. I don’t even care anymore.  [text] Can’t talk now.. too busy eating ice cream and watching House Hunters International.  [text] We’re not watching Frozen again.  [text] I have no idea what you’re talking about…  [text] You’ve got waaaay too much time on your hands.  [text] Are you trying to bribe me with sex?  [text] I just don’t think moving in together is a very good idea… [text] Because you’re pissing me off!  [text] You left your sweatshirt here. It’s mine now.  [text] I need to tell you something but you have to promise not to get mad.  [text] What did I say about sending me pictures like that while I’m at work?  [text] Wait… are you serious? [text] I accidentally just called my mom a bitch to her face and now I have to run away. [text] I’m just saying that you look a lot better without clothes on! [text] I know that we don’t always get along but I really do miss you.  [text] Pictures or it didn’t happen!  [text] I’ll accept apologizes in the form of food or sex.  [text] I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry please just pick up the phone. [text] That’s really inappropriate…  [text] I don’t know if I should be embarrassed or proud…  [text] You’ll never guess who just texted me.  [text] I hate my life right now about as much as Robert Pattinson hates Twilight.

Nora sidestepped a little closer to the pale-haired stranger, spotting a cigarette also balanced on their lip. With a crackle, she opened the cap of her zippo. “ Need a light? Also do you know where I can find a one Noah Hemlock? ” 

“You found him. Professor Hemlock, pleased to meet you.”

“Simply a joke Professor. Though I will say if you ever did make a Daycare, I would surely go. So you got one customer. Anyway, I do assume you got an egg. Do you know what Pokemon will hatch from it?”

     “I can’t say for certain, but I think it’s a Cottonee. The exterior of the shells don’t give much of an impression, but this one in particular has a tell-tale pattern linking it to the grass-type.” There’s a small pause, and the professor merely shrugs his shoulders, placing his hands in the pockets of his labcoat.  “How about you? I assumed you gathered one for yourself, as well?”

  [text]: Looks like I found Noah’s relative! It’s a Slowpoke! 

[text]: mmmmm [text]: funny joke

[Text]: it glows. i had to have it. [Text]: i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren’t you proud of me? [Text]: you told me your favorite colors were “pink” “no pants” and “Mexican food” [Text]: I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack [Text]: YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET [Text]: This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I’m too hungover to ask questions [Text]: I think my nap took me to another dimension [Text]: i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs [Text]: I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I’m conflicted. [Text]: I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA [Text]: i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang. [Text]: He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were “stay away from my princess parts. they’re renovating.” [Text]: It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes. [Text]: If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you. [Text]: The real estate’s complaint had the words “loud squealing at 2am” in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night. [Text]: Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less. [Text]: was it mean of me to chase him screaming “DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!” [Text]: I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents. [Text]: If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh. [Text]: Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today? [Text]: I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job [Text]: And he probably thinks I’m in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything [Text]: I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk. [Text]: i said good morning to each one of his abs personally [Text]: A true measure of a good friend is how long they respond to their friends drunken illogical texts. You’re a champ. [Text]: Apparently I’m a “fire hazard” [Text]: Just did shrooms. Don’t feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing’s happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money. [Text]: I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. [Text]: do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it’s really, really cool when u think about it [Text]: Well I’m about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I’m disappointed in how little alcohol is in me [Text]: im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper “I’m not wearing underwear” but idk if thats a heartfelt apology [Text]: Ducking stuck downtown…all the fuxkig roads are blixkded [Text]: we’re making bets on your personal life [Text]: Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being…

        “Just kidding, it’s me. Your favourite champ. I’ve got at least…two favours to ask of you! If you would be so kind! Number 1: I require some new Pokeballs..Mine have..vanished. You know how crazy shows get! And Number 2…Well we can get to that after Number 1 is accomplished!”

     “... Did you get this place mixed up with the PokéMart? I figure a champion of all people would be able to afford a new set.” Grumpy, grumpy. Someone didn’t sleep very well last night. Though, considering his professions, he barely had the time to sleep at all. “Does the second favour involve somehow scaring the life out of the rest of my pokémon, by any chance? ”

Transparent drawing of probably my all time favorite Pokémon ever, horse centipede! You’re blending in real well there…

❝Man, getting starters are like the best thing trainers could get!❞

     “This box holds the Water-type starters; Oshawott.” Carefully, he tossed the brand new red and white pokéball towards his sister for her to catch. “Seems like your kind of thing. Don’t get too attached though, they go out to their new trainers tomorrow.”