Do You Know The Muppet Man?

"If you look for the light, you can often find it. But if you look for the dark, that is all you will ever see." - Uncle Iroh

"I think everyone has multiple sides to them. You don't have to force yourself to decide on just one." - Yukiko Amagi

Dangerous Plants for 500, Alex - What is “Jimsonweed”?

Datura stramonium, colloquially known as jimsonweed, is a flower and/or weed (I never gave it much thought) and one of eight known species of datura. The other seven varieties are different in both looks and levels of lethality, but this isn't about them.

D. Stramonium is native to North America and grows in all warm and temperate climates. You can find it anywhere from Texas to California. It can be eaten or smoked to achieve hallucinogenic effects- as well as fever, blurred vision, psychosis, arrhythmia, delirium, trouble urinating, respiratory depression, and moderate-to-severe death.

What's that? Blurred vision? Let's take a closer look at the lyrics of the song.

One day I was out there talkin' to my brother

And I reached down for a weed to chew on

Things got fuzzy and things got blurry

And then everything was gone

… So Says Mr. Stafford. Coincidence? We think not. Let's go a bit deeper. Here's an example from the beginning of the song:

The wildwood flower grew out on the farm

And we never knowed what it was called

Some said it was a flower and some said it was a weed

I didn't give it much thought

Jimsonweed and it's more than likely inbred cousins are, on the outside, a pleasant and innocuous-looking plant that could easily be described as a flower or a weed by the average Glass Joe who is not well-versed in planteology, such as ourselves, which is why we are going to miss The Planty Raid. It's a leafy plant that produces trumpet-shaped flowers that are creamy white to violet in color, and at night-time they open up and emit a pleasant fragrance, sometimes being fed upon by nocturnal moths, who we can only assume are high as balls.

[...]

I come to, and my brother was there and he said,

"What's wrong with your eyes?"

We've already mentioned that use of the plant causes blurred vision, and can be both smoked or ingested straight, versus good old Mary Jane which has to be heated or cooked in some fashion before it does anyone any good.

We continue:

“I don't know, I was chewin' on a weed"

He said, "Let me give it a try"

We spent the rest of that day and most of that night

Tryin' to find my brother Bill

Caught up with him about six o'clock the next mornin'

Naked, singing on the windmill

He said he flew up there

I had to fly up and get him down

He was about half crazy

Use of jimsonweed is known to cause bizarre behavior. Despite what Reefer Madness may tell you, MJ does not typically cause people to do things like this.

Big 'ole puff of that wildwood weed

And the next thing you know

You're just wand'ring 'round behind the little animals

While the overall tone of the song is a pleasant one, and the singer states that they begin to smoke the plant on a daily basis, seeing no apparent harm regardless of naked windmill shenanigans and regarding the plant as harmless, it appears some feel differently.

One day this feller from Washington come by

And spied 'em and turned white as a sheet

And he dug and he burned

And he burned and he dug

And he killed all our cute little weeds

Datura has a distinctive appearance that could easily be spied by one not otherwise looking for it. One assumes by the severity of his reaction that this gentleman is familiar with the flower's reputation re: sickness and death. While the singer and his brother don't appear to suffer the worst of it, it could be assumed they weren't ingesting enough to cause negative effects. Or they had Redneck Vitality.

Indeed, abuse or use of jimsonweed seems to be far more associated with negative side-effects than positive ones, even if it does beat the hell out of sniffin’ burlap (someone who has done both, get back to us on this). In 1993 for instance, multiple youths suffered serious symptoms including seizures and coma from drinking tea they brewed from the leaves of the plant.

Even accidental ingestion can be harmful. In 2022, some 200 people in Australia became ill after eating spinach that had been accidentally contaminated with baby datura leaves.

And while it's true the flower can be found basically anywhere, songwriter Don Bowman was born in Texas and enjoyed work and radio play in Branson, Missouri. Why is this relevant? Sadly in lieu of a source, we can only draw on my own experience and ask for your support: If you, like me, hail from the southern United States or have southern family members, you were warned TO NEVER TOUCH THE JIMSONWEED. It's a flower that makes you go BLIND, man! It happened to ma's cousin Dale! Seriously, did you guys know it was a real plant? I thought it was an old wife's tale- discovery that it isn't prompted the birth of this essay.

For all of these reasons, I posit that The Wildwood Weed, was in fact inspired by not Marijuana, as many assumed to this day, but in fact by infamous redneck legend of old: Datura stramonium, or jimsonweed.

There's no source, paper, or interview I could find to lend more credit to this, but information on the song is pretty scarce. However, in my research I also find, or didn't find, another thing: Despite what your gram may tell you, there is also no record of the writer or singer saying what the song is or is not about. They didn't say it was a made-up plant (as some claim), they didn't say it was about marijuana (as others claim), and they didn't say it -wasn't- about marijauna (as most claim). In fact, they don't appear to have said much about it all.

And why would they? It's just a song, and everyone knows not to touch jimsonweed, if they even know it's real.

Right?

And then he drove away

We just smiled and waved

Sittin' there on that sack o' seeds

For those not in the know, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past had a tie-in comic first published in Nintendo Power, written by one Shotaro Ishinomori.

And I gotta tell you, it has -everything-.

Charming yet inconsistent art:

Items and characters that never appear anywhere else in the game or series but are still of major plot importance:

Who the heck is this guy? Well that's Roam, the spotlight-stealing tragic warrior.

And who could forget the classic Zelda item, the Comfork:

[Transcript: *silly voice* "Thank you, Link! Because of you I can escape this crystal prison! Now here is something that will help you- The Comfork!

*pause* The Comfork!

*angry* COMFOOOOOOORK-!!!"]

It sure seems to like tying people up with tentacles and vines:

Fun fact: I forgot to take pictures of the tentacles and vines when I borrowed the book from the library back in 2022, so I had to search : "link to the past comic tentacles".

For god's sake, the nasty things almost got Epheremelda!

You guys remember Epheremelda, right?

Now despite everything you're seeing, I don't actually remember this as being -bad-, per se. It definitely has that nostalgic, hokey charm of the bygone era where cartoons and comics were still learning what to do with adapting these new-fangled video games. Why, it almost makes me want to say: Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, princess!

I'd really love to buy a copy at some point, both to do a longer form post comparing differences from the game, and to see if I'm right that it still has some entertainment value.