Given my genetics, my habits, my tendency to consider suicide as a valid potential solution to many of life's more intransigent difficulties, my philosophical detachment from/material divestiture of/general disinterest in the things that provide most people with a reason to want to live, my tendency to avoid or remain in denial about growing problems with my physical, mental, and fiduciary well-being, my willingness to use my life (and death) as an asset to the cause of human freedom or against social/economic/political/religious control, my appreciation of the brevity of even the longest human life, my understanding of the power of a memorable life (and death) to propel one's influence into the future well beyond the ephemeral bounds of a single lifespan, the shitty brakes in my car, my ownership of several firearms, my lackluster health insurance, my intense depression and incendiary manic episodes, and a number of other factors, it would seem unlikely in both an intuitive and a statistical sense that I will live for terribly much longer. I take some small comfort, though, in knowing that I get more out of each day, each hour, than most people. I have more options for immediate dopamine release, and I spend less of my time doing things I hate than I would if I was trying to build a 401k or feed a family or whatever other dumb bullshit makes people care about work beyond immediate necessity. It's not a bad time, really. I guess I could be considered a wasted potential literary or scientific talent or whatever, but on the other hand, fuck that shit. I'm crazy because of civilization, not in spite of it. The last thing I want to do is contribute to the system that destroyed me, my family, and most of my culture. I don't really have a point here. Don't be like me. Unless you can, and you want to. In that case, fuck yeah, you should try it, it's awesome. xoxo
gummygunk
2087
snowghoul
tangentwithtanner
dededos
