𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐍

 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐌 — a mutals-only, selective, low-activity multimuse featuring muses from asoiaf / hotd, dragon age, the elder scrolls, and more.               

 CARRD.   AESTHETIC SIDEBLOG.

heavily affiliated with @winterreigned , @theyoungwclf / @armoredone , @stovmborn , @rcgued​ , @imaginarianisms​

you're also one of the sweetest & most patient people i have ever met; you truly are one of my favorite people on this site (& in real life, of course) & i am forever grateful to have you in my life. thank you for being such a good friend to me for all these years. you're lovely, okay? you always brighten up my mood, & i love writing with you. plotting, too! we've created so many wonderful worlds together. this may sound odd but whenever i think of remilia (& the many urls she's had), i think of your url too. like a set! i hope that's okay to say.

anyways, sending love to you. x

LIS !!!!!!!!

crying rn actually. this is the sweetest message ever fr. this year has been a hard one for me and yet you've been there for me and made it easier to bear! i'm so lucky to have you as a friend. so, so lucky. i value our friendship so much you don't even know!!

whenever i think of my blogs, i think of yours as well! it's been, what? at least five years of writing together? and i feel like our blogs/muses are so intertwined and my blog & writing are all the better for it! your writing is like smelling flowers still in the earth and something old and something fresh at the same time. you've always been such an inspiration to me!

𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 , the birth of some bright light. hope and all its side effects. violet when it sings to the night sky. the way the lilies bend toward the pond. free and willing and wanting. has until the mourning dove sings , and time feels slowed.

cheeks flush at being caught in the act , muted shades of fire amber.   ❝   it appears i’ve been caught.   ❞   a brief smile before his expression softens. some part shy and some part bright. looks his age , all wrinkled in the corners of his eyes. thinking about tomorrow and today as though they were both outstretched and thriving.   ❝   pardon my staring.   ❞   voice is firm with some grander meaning. something sitting in the back of his throat. eager. controlled. 

𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 and looking at him with much less disdain. wildfire , still. and aching with it. straight from the chest. earnest and hoping , as if that were enough.

❝   yes ,   ❞   he starts with a nod. lips pursed. shoulders slack.   ❝   yes i do.   ❞   a shrug. ever dramatic and always prodding.   ❝   and that’s rich coming from me.   ❞   a smirk. like the back of his hand , he knows her will. burns as his does - all aimless and free. misguided , sometimes. target in mind and barreling forward in spite of that. spilling over. impatient.   ❝   you’re wreckless.  ❞   words of a brother and given to her with just as much parenting. as though he might be speaking to himself , some few or more years in the past.   ❝   so am i.   ❞   honest. endearing. two sides of the same blunt and burned out blade. cutting and cutting and endless , really. to lash out as a second nature. to fall short and not without consequence. 

𝐍𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 — all wandering and open. free 01110111 01100001 01101001 01110100 until the universe renders him obsolete. taking in what he can , rarely discarding. calculating in the most basic sense. he is who he is and he is who he has become.

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 on its hinge , some refrain from the mess in his mind. some movement to force his eyes in some holy upward direction. roll backwards into his head. and back before him , though not cognizant. not in the moment , but some moment before. 

black ichor threatening the flow of his veins. all consuming.  in vain - a cup overflowing. summer’s rain. spontaneous and weighing down. ancient and looking for the lord in every crevice. holy when it breaches your own skeleton. pure when it’s the only saving grace. dark wound of the sky some hypnotizing spectacle. grounded. falling. cool devotion. murmurs of lilac and safe. shy like the hare but all in view. some god of the skeptical frown. corners of his lips turned downwards in a holy strike. all for naught and all for those with the gift to calculate it. some breaching upon his immaculate vision. horror stolen. clouded within. connection lost.

𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐑𝐘. he could swallow it and all its holy light. corrupt it in the pit of what he is. who he is. still human. takes a look at the palms of his hands to double check. still human. despite his insides.

maybe someday. maybe somehow. they could flower. petaling bright and blinding. made anew. stripped down and forgiven. and james holding his breath at the edge of the field. having walked it all and still with a mouth full of doubts. in his best lifetime , he could not deserve her. in the best state of mind , it’s a sin to perceive her.    (   what matters is now   ,   the words ring in his mind. hopeful. longing.   )   tomorrow is a new day. tomorrow cannot purify. waits for him all the same. that sore and sorry pit of himself is warm and true when it calls to him — it does not matter. stay. he listens. listens , but does not learn.

❝   yeah ,   ❞   james replies , words coming out as a sigh. letting go far more than he has the right to.   ❝   i can spare a moment.   ❞   lips move to ghost her own. hesitant. longing. even now. always , they are both on the edge of something beautiful. he could relent. for the sake of something beautiful. if only he deserved it. if only. 

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍. like everything he’s ever loved , come back to meet him all violent in light of the end. brief volumes of his life all catching up to him. all too soon. he should have been more. done more. regret sands down his throat. the words come easier. drenched in the weight of being so long unsaid , they come.

𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 on the horizon , some soft end meeting another. growth of the earth like veins and sweet. one look to feel her as a garden. one look to think of his home. green and growing. fondness of tomorrow and kind. the best he could wish upon his people. 

❝   𝑶𝑯 !!   ❞   tone of understanding and yet drenched in uncertainty. fated only to serve , not to understand. and ever helpful , the pawn that he is. zephyr is a friend to cicero. cicero helps his friends.   ❝   cicero is no healer.   ❞   earnest words. trailing on those yet spoken. soft and foolish and lost. his own existence some ghosting in the present. flowering like nightshade and just as hard to swallow. intentions better , perhaps. maybe not. depends on the day.

𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐍𝐃. everything in between. his voice calls out to him , throat of it all. ringing holy in his ears. every stretch of his skin over bone — he’s grateful really. all for the life of himself. unbreakable tether. meaning. pain. loss. everything leads back to ramsay. it all leads back to him.