problematicvoid

If they're a little raise them better than your parents raised you, if they're a pet be an owner worthy of their loyalty, if they're a slave reward their obedience and forgive their indiscretion, no version of any of dynamic should involve punishment or discipline

Don’t Shoot the Dog! : The New Art of Teaching and Training by Karen Pryor

Which you can download for free here

The idea that I am going to open your eyes to something previously unthinkable, almost in a Lovecraftian/cosmic horror sense - that I'm going to make you see things that no ordinary person would ever even imagine, and that you will be forever changed by the knowledge - is very hot. Pinning you down and being rough with you, giving you ego death by orgasm despite the pain. Then causing you to piss yourself in the empty subway car on the way back home, experiencing an orgasm from it (and every time you pee for the next few days).

Forcing you to experience new heights, beyond what you ever thought possible, until you realize how empty your life is without it and you come to me, your rapist, to BEG me for more of what I did to you, for the next stage along the path.

It also fits in with intox kink - telling you to close your eyes, and you think I'm going to kiss you. Instead, you feel a pinprick as I find your vein and inject a speedball into you. Or offering some nice dessert wine, which I've fortified with a GABAergic drug like GHB or a benzodiazepine. And as you're halfway between my teeth and heaven, your limp resistance is merely a subtle flavor as I use you, riding your face to my satisfaction. And when you cum for me, straight and conventional sex will never satisfy you properly - you know what true pleasure feels like now.

I also quite like the prospect of getting a top so desperately, blindingly horny that I can collar her (or him, or them, etc. - I am bi) and pulling the leash so she mounts me and rides me hard. When she's done, she worries about what her boyfriend will think, but she knows how much better this was.

In fact, I very much like the idea of raping a top who is much stronger than me (a disabled woman). Coming to her knowing she hasn't had sex in weeks (months?), drugging her, teasing her, and eventually forcing her to pound me like she means it. Domme the shit out of a proud athlete, bound so that her strength and skill is merely a toy for my amusement.

Straightbreaking is also hot. I see the desire in your heart, the way your gaze lingers. I'm going to seduce you, and rape you, and by the time I'm done you'll love fucking other women.

It's for your own good. Struggle all you want, it just makes you all the more delicious.

I had the realization shortly after I came out as trans that like, basically nobody had ever really found me attractive at all (at least not enough to articulate it), yknow had only ever gone on one kinda disastrous date with a friend, never had people going out of their way to flirt with me, you get it. And so a scenario of "i don't particularly care if you like me or find me attractive or want to do this with me, I'm going to have my fun with you regardless" ends up doing a lot for me.

Why *don't* you want to be a dom? Maybe you think you can't do it. You lack the responsibility, the experience, the practice. You say you don't understand the appeal of it to obfuscate that you just find the idea of envisioning yourself in a place of power terrifying.

It's ego dystonic, you identify yourself as one who submits. Or maybe you just see yourself as fundamentally incapable of being desired. There's some gap between "you" and "dominant" that feels insurmountable.

So you don't think about it. Why worry about something that won't happen?

But why, even then, do you want it? I mean. It'd mean you want to be desired, at least. Proof of it. That someone thinks you can be in control, that your needs should be met, that you should be submitted to. But that's not really all of it, though. You *do* have needs. Wants. Desires.

To be in control, finally, totally. Find release at the point where it realizes that it can't fight back and you can embrace it truly.

To get to touch it, to feel it, to claim it. Your intimacy demands a kind of physical contact that feels violating. It's the only setting where that kind of explicit violation is permitted.

To be served, to be loved, to be seen. Doesn't everyone want to be worshipped? To feel like a goddess? To look down and know that it's below you? You certainly crave it. To have everything you insist is true about yourself validated.

With accidental dominance type fantasies, we imagine a scenario where that gap is bypassed and that need it's fulfilled. What does that look like?

(I figured I should post this here from twitter, for wider viewing and also in one easily-readable chunk)

1) No timidity.

 No sticking your tongue out and nudging my hole with it, no shy little kisses where you back off away, no pulling back to look up for approval every few seconds.

If you’re lucky enough to be allowed to eat my asshole, your face goes deep in my crack and it stays there. My cheeks stay on your cheeks until I tell you otherwise. You should only see my asshole at two points, before it starts, and after it ends, otherwise you’re being coy.

2) Don’t end it.

This isn’t a quickie, you’re not blowing me while I jerk off in your mouth, I might not even choose to cum. I’m using you as a relaxation aid, and thinking ‘this slut is about to whine about being bored and tired and stop after ten minutes’ is not relaxing.

Prepare to be here for hours. You might take a two-minute break for a drink, you might alternate deep, forceful tongue-fucking with effortless low-pressure smooching to rest your face muscles, but you’re not going to stop and do something else, especially the first time.

If you can talk without slurring your words after the first time you eat my ass, I didn’t make you do it for long enough. Once I’ve proven to my satisfaction that you’ll lick until told otherwise, future sessions will probably be shorter, but it’s on you to prove it.

3) Get it slick.

Press your mouth against my hole and start with big, low-pressure licks. Drool plenty. If there’s any sweat between my ass-cheeks, this is where you lick it all up and replace it with your spit.

After a few minutes you should have drool running down your chin, and that’s when you’re ready to do the next part.

4) Smooch it.

Remember the first time a cute girl kissed you deeply? Remember all the times you fantasizied about what if a cute girl let you kiss her deeply? This is the part where you do that to my asshole.

Press your lips against it and kiss it, make out with it, slip your tongue inside. Treat it like your bride on the first night of your honeymoon. Kiss it like you love it.

Treat this part the exact same as you would kissing. If you feel me tense up, kiss softly. If I relax into you, slip your tongue in deep. Feel free to gasp and moan and grind against the sheets, just as you would if I’d kissed you for real.

5) Tongue-fuck it.

Keep your lips pressed tight around my hole, and push your tongue inside. Deeper. As deep as it can go. If I moan, you’re doing it right. If not, do it again, deeper.

You should feel the muscles on your neck straining from the effort of trying to push your tongue this deep inside me. You should then pull your tongue out - but your lips stay pressed in place! - and do it again. Deeper and deeper.

You’re trying to make me relax. You’re trying to wear down my reflexive resistance, to make my hole simply accept your tongue. Once you’ve relaxed me, you go to the next step.

6) Eat me out.

You get your tongue in nice and deep, and instead of pulling it out, you push upwards, like you’re licking an ice cream and want to carve a gash into it with your tongue.

You use your whole face for this part, moving it up and down my crack to amplify the force of your licks. It should go without saying that your lips never leave my ass, and your cheeks keep constant contact with my buttocks.

This step will destroy whatever whorish makeup you’re wearing. If it doesn’t, you’re being too timid.

This deep, powerful licking is what you’ll be doing for most of the rimjob. This is what I want from you, it’s why I’m letting you eat me out. It will make your jaw ache, it will make your tongue sore, it will make your lips bruised. It’s called a rim *job* because it’s hard work

You don’t have endless stamina, and sometimes I’ll find you a little too enthusiastic for my mood, so when I tell you that you can rest, you can go into the next step.

7) Gentle rimming.

Kiss my hole. Keep your mouth open against it and hold your tongue on it, softly moving it over my hole without trying to dig it out. Nuzzle it, smooch it, be sappy with it. You should be able to keep this up indefinitely, or until I tell you I want 6) again

These seven things make up the basics. It will be different if I want to sit on your face, or if I want to be eaten out in public, or I want to go to sleep while being rimmed, but the basics remain the same.

Like a friend coming up behind me in the kitchen, slamming me against the counter just to pump a quick load into me like a fleshlight