problematic_twink @problematic-twink - Tumblr Blog

how long do yall hold your piss to avoid asking where the bathroom is

#half genuine question #i think the longest i've held it was for a day and a half #but usually i just wait for someone else to have to piss and see where they go #and that usually takes anywhere from 30 minutes to 5 hours depending on the location

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i hate american hospitals. every time i go it's just

"doctor, i'm having (issue that i documented in great detail to make the process as quick and as easy as possible)"

"i don't believe you. but i'm diagnosing you with some random bullshit. here's some crack. it won't help you with anything and it has a million side effects. also it costs $10,000 a month."

"oh thanks, is it covered by insurance?"

"no. their team of not medical doctors didn't read theough your half-assed medical diagnosis and decided that they needed the money more than you. if you have a problem with that, call your insurance provider so they can put you on hold for 3 hours then hang up on you."

#rant i guess #probably gonna delete this later

you know what they say, "don't beat the dead horse out of the tree before you plant it"

from now on i'm refering to trump's penis as the tangerenis

#politics #pingas #donald trump #shitpost

in the yaoi chat getting downright philosophical

#yaoi #philosophy #shitpost

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accidentally had a thought yesterday. won't happen again.

had a dream where the new trend was to make a jennifer coolidge sona and i saw this one post on instagram that was like

"Hey guys! I just made my #JenniferCoolidgeSona! So happy with how it turned out!"

and it was just an uncannily realistic drawing of jennifer coolidge in the middle of a waterpark staring blankly at the viewer

and then people were in the comments like "Omggggg! Like the 4th of July ♥️♥️♥️"

#also my jennifercoolidgesona was batman #had a dream #i dreamt #jennifer coolidge

whoever invented pan searing was a genius

they were just like- "you see that shit over there? cook it, but only on the outside."

truly the microwave of their time

#microwave #searing #food

realistically i could probably beat god in a fistfight tbh. but honey badgers? hell no, those mfs are terrifying

#honey badger

*takes a loooooong sip* wow. that was truly the hotdog rocket of the 4th of july. burger king could never.

*glances at my boyfriend, who has been acting suspiciously american lately*

#americaposting #patriotism #4th of july #america #murica #gay

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CONTENT WARNING ‼️ SEXUAL THEMES

penis

#idk what tags to use #uhhhhh #sex #gay #shitpost #what am i even doing anymore

immortal being wearing a collar to hide the fact that they were decapitated centuries prior

hi, i went to the stupid dumbfuck factory and gave them your serial number. needless to say, that's your place of origin.

#shitpost

when they make pasta, do they make it like dragon's beard candy or do they feed it into a pasta-inator

#pasta

GUYS I JUST FOUND A DYSTOPIAN YAOI FIC I WROTE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL ASKJDHDKSJFK

DO YALL WANNA HEAR SOME EXERPTS FROM IT

#yaoi #gay #dystopian yaoi #fanfic #fanfic writer

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pyFAGorean theorem

#gay #pythagoras #pythagorean theorem

"i'm pretty sure they call this 'nuh uh'" *runs away from the cop*

#nuh uh

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