Double ∞

You're not supposed to be just looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend. At this age, you're supposed to be looking for someone to develop a future with and a potential life partner, not kick rocks and pass time. I know the words “life partner” sounds intimidating and makes you want to run the other direction. I am not saying when you find your life partner, marry him or her right away. There is still so much I myself want to accomplish before I get married, so if I do happen to find my life partner before I have all those things, I hope he understands what I want in life before marriage and is willing to wait. If not, he was not my life partner to begin with because if he was, there is no rush to get married. If he is my life partner, him and I will push one another to strive and succeed. Don't tell someone to grow up when they are thinking five years down the road whereas you are thinking about what you are going to do tomorrow or next week. Get out of that high school phase of thoughts like "damn she's/he's fine, I'd smash." What happened to getting to know someone and their interests? To see how intellectual someone's mind is, how complex it is, how and why it is filled with goals and dreams. What makes that person who they are? These are things we should be looking for. Explore the mind, not the body. 

No longer playing this game. It's so exhausting.

Let me cry myself to sleep, please.

Why am I getting so emotional when I haven't written anything yet?

I am the type of girl who builds hope. Lingers on hope. Relies on hope. Unfortunately the past several years, all I ever felt was disappointment. I have never given up on hope, but I feel like hope has given up on me.