welcome to the dollhouse, baby

.. are we five? i’m not wearing anything frilly.

Okay fine, I won't even make you wear a tiara like my tea party guests usually have to do.

first impressions are the most important though. can’t ever go back from that.

No, we're having a tea party, and Tanner is coming too, and I will show you the ways.

Please do us all a favor and don’t go near an oven. You’ll be saving hundreds of lives if you just simply refrain from baking. Leave cooking and baking to the experts, like me. 

Okay so, are you going to bake me scones or not?

People actually have tea parties? That’s an actual thing?

because they’re dry and crumbly and gross duh

Also I really have to agree with you there, I don't know what kind of scones you've been eating, but that's definitely not right.

That sounds rich and fancy.

What are you talking about? I’m super nice to you! I’m probably one of the sweetest guys around here. And if I make you scones, that would just ruin the entire point of this. You’re supposed to give me something, not the other way around. Of course, my baked goods would undoubtedly taste better than yours, but that’s not the point here.

Okay, you've got a point, but now I really want homemade scones, and I feel like if I were to use the oven, I'd actually set something on fire.  I almost forgot to take the sweaters out last time I tried to turn it on - that really wouldn't have ended well.

Well, that was smart. I’d take some of your pre-made, purchased scones, despite not being homemade. The satisfaction of knowing that you didn’t make them – meaning I’m safe from being fatally poisoned – makes them that much more appealing.

You need to work on being nicer to me, mister, otherwise there will be no scones for you, and then you'll be sad and sconeless.   I mean, you do have a point, but still, rude.  You could always make me scones if you're so worried about them.

I kid, of course. And would I actually want these scones? Or would I be in danger of getting poisoned?

Well I'd hope not, considering I actually went out to the store and bought scones to bribe people with.

Except no that was mean I'm sorry, you're not gross at all.  HOW CAN YOU THINK SCONES ARE GROSS?!

IT'S LIKE, A LITTLE PASTRY BUT NOT REALLY A PASTRY THING THAT TASTES LIKE HEAVEN AND GOES WITH TEA!