˗ˋ Cal ⋆｡˚✰

“You good?” He asked, his voice becoming a little more quiet while the rest of the Hellfire kept talking to themselves. “You seem to have a lot on your mind.”

“Just thinking.” You shrugged, but Eddie obviously wasn't buying it. “Nothing much.”

“I know you tend to be…” Eddie made a move for his wrist as he looked for the right word. “You're usually quiet, but you're more quiet than normally. That's what I'm trying to say.”

You rubbed the side of your neck, thinking whenever you should tell him before you spoke up.

“I think I wanna treat myself a little. Maybe buy myself something sweet or perhaps nice flowers?”

Eddie blinked, not sure if he heard you right.

“That's what got you so quiet? Flowers and sweets?”

“Mhm.” You nodded, fingers wrapped around the pendant of your necklace as you played with it, a little nervous habit.

He wasn't buying it, he wanted to know what really was on your mind, but he noticed the way you toyed with your necklace. He knew you better than you perhaps wanted him to. He knew you did this when you felt nervous and despite wanting to nag you a little more and know what was truly on your mind, he decided against it. But he already knew he was going to ask later.

It was right after classes when Eddie caught up with you.

“Hey, why so fast?” He grabbed you by the shoulder, earning the same reaction from you as in the cafeteria. “Sweets won't disappear if you slow down.”

“Hopefully.”

Eddie sighed and rolled his eyes at your answer. He grabbed your other shoulder, turning you around, not caring that other students glanced at the two of you.

“What's with you today? Can we talk or something?” A frown appeared between his brows.

You looked around, there were way too many people for your liking and you didn't need the whole school to know what was going on. You didn't want anyone to know, but if Eddie insisted, how could you not tell him when he looked so worried about you?

Without a word, you grabbed him by the sleeve of his jacket and dragged him to a more secluded place - that picnic spot in the woods. He obediently followed after you, not a word from him as well as he did.

The leaves crunched between your shoes and his own, birds in the distance but no more hums or noises coming from the students who could happily spread the information that you wanted to keep private so badly.

Once again you looked around to make sure the two of you were, which you luckily were. You let go of Eddie's jacket and turned to him. He looked as if he was expecting something, frown still in its place, but you were quiet, waiting for you to speak.

“So,” you weren't exactly sure how to start this. “I woke up, like, hella early this morning. Just, so early my brain started overthinking and all of that…”

You paced around a little, stepping on the leaves. One your hands found your necklace once more, playing with it in a more intense manner as you felt the texture of the pendant pressing against your thumb. The other hand was mostly gesturing, sometimes rubbing your neck. And your eyes were everywhere, but on Eddie who stood still and listened to every word.

“I haven't told you something.” You confessed, and licked your lips. “I was… in a bad place before I moved here. And I mean a really, really bad place. So bad your mind goes to only one place.”

You continued pacing around, but you felt as if you could only hear your voice and everything else was taken over by the suffocating silence. And you felt like you were in a box, so small and so tight.

“I kept thinking and… planning. I thought I was… that it would…” Something felt stuck in your throat, heart beating so fast you thought it was going to bruise your ribs. “Just… yeah, I was meant to be gone, but I am not. I am here…”

For after what felt like an eternity you decided to glance up at Eddie. You weren't sure what you should expect. Disappointment? Anger? Disbelief? But you met with a trembling lip and eyes so glassy you could practically use them as a mirror.

Eddie almost never cried. It happened two times during your time with him. First was during a campaign where things got really emotional and everyone seemed to shed a tear or two. The second time was when the two of you wanted a movie and Eddie was moved by it so badly, he sobbed a little. You expected many reactions now but not to see him in tears.

You stood there like a stone stuck in the dirt, when he slowly moved and hugged you. You didn't react at first, in too much shock to do so, thanks to his reaction and your own words you thought you were going to take to the grave with you.

But no, they held you tightly and a sob escaped him and then a few more.

“I’m so glad you're here…” He whispered against your shoulder, holding you close and tightly as if he loosened his grip, you might disappear forever.

Your eyes filled up with tears at his words, arms wrapping around him as you leaned into the hug. You had a feeling the confession might break you in one way or another, but you couldn't stop the tears and started crying against him and Eddie cried against you.

It felt as if it was just the two of you, holding onto each other and letting those hot tears fall down your cheeks. The world and its problems were all gone, while the two of you had a little moment. It felt like all the noises and sounds were gone, no more singing birds, students somewhere in the distance. Just you and Eddie.

It took a few moments until the two of you calmed down, still holding onto one another, Eddie swaying you gently until he could hear your breathing go back to normal. He then pulled back to look at you, hands on your shoulders. His eyes were still glassy, rimmed with pink, his cheeks had a similar hue but he smiled at you.

“I'm so glad you made it here, you know? That you're trying and fighting and…” He gently wiped a tear from his eyes. “I can imagine that it's not easy and I'm very happy that I can talk to you and spend time with you.”

His words again made you want to cry and you wiped the tears away like he did. Your smile mirrored his own and you felt your heart swell in your chest knowing that someone was so happy to be able to share their moments with you.

“What I was trying to say is that,” You murmured, eyes on his own this time. “I still feel the consequences of it linger and all those thoughts from the morning made me realize that I should be kinder to myself. I have been through enough to be able to kick myself when I should, like I said, be kinder.”

Eddie nodded, now understanding why so much in your head today. Wanting to change your mindset wasn't easy, especially after what you've been through. But knowing you wanted to treat yourself with more kindness and love than before, really made him happy.

“Yeah, I see it.” He nodded, letting go of you. “If you're being so nice to yourself, maybe I can buy you something? Any bouquet you want, at my cost.”

A weak chuckle escaped you. “Please, you can just buy the cheapest one.”

“Nope. Anything but the cheapest one.” He thought about it for a moment before adding. “Okay, unless you like it, but you know what I mean. Treat yourself a little, you deserve it!”

“Sweets and flowers it is.”

Eddie’s arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you close.

“And just in case you somehow didn't realize it before, if anything happens and you need to talk, come to me, okay? I'm here, heck, I'm more than sure the whole Hellfire would be happy to help if needed. Just know you're not alone, okay?”

You nodded as the two started leaving the forest.

He smiled when he noticed you and waved towards you. He was leaning against his van, smoking a cigarette, but as soon as you started approaching him, he threw it on the ground and stomped on it.

“You know, it doesn't change the fact that your breath still stinks of it?” You commented, still being able to smell a hint of the cigarette stick in the air.

“I know. I should invest in mints or gums because of your sensitive little nose.” He teased, flicking your nose gently. You scrunched up in response and he couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. “I’ll stop smoking around you. Sorry, sweets.”

“Less smoking, more gum chewing would do you good.” You waved your hand over your face, to get rid of the unpleasant smell.

“Maybe if you buy me something sweet to snack on, the habit would go away?” He proposed, tilting his head.

You let out a soft snort. “You want me to buy sweets?” You pretended to be resented by the idea, but on the inside you knew you couldn't say no to those big brown eyes. He didn't even need to ask, you were happy to buy him something in general.

“I happen to have a small need to stop by a story, so maybe luck is on my side.” He said before he moved to open the door for you. “Your Majesty, your carriage awaits!”

You shook your head with a smile, but a light blush graceful your cheek as you sat inside the van. “Thank you. What would I do without you?” You sighed and he chuckled again as he made his way to the driver seat.

He started the entire thing and the van went on the road. Eddie started rambling about D&D, how excited about his new ideas he was, not to mention how he complained that you should give it a chance, because he thought you would enjoy it if you finally gave it a chance.

Your mind was in a different place though. You wanted to ask him to be the subject of your next piece. You sketched him before, obviously. But it was in your room when you couldn't get him out of your head or you were doodling during boring classes. You never asked him directly to be your subject, despite how many times he was your muse without being aware of it. Something about asking him felt too intimate.

You didn't even realize when you reached the parking lot of the store.

“Earth to __________. You're with me?” Eddie asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“You're good.” His smile softened. “Let's get the stuff, hmm?”

You nodded and left the van. Eddie did as well, right after killing the engine and followed after you.

“So what do you need?” You asked as the two of you entered the store.

Eddie pulled out a paper and took a good look at it. “I need some ham, onions, cheese and a few more stuff. Wayne wants to make me the casserole he made me when I was younger. It was my favorite. Guess he felt nostalgic.”

“Aww, that's so sweet of him.” You smiled at that. You could imagine younger Eddie, with his hair shorter and that big smile as he waited impatiently for Wayne to make the casserole. It was a nice thought.

“He just wanted to do something nice for me. We don't spend that much time anymore, but he wanted to make me something good for dinner this weekend.” Eddied explained as he walked through the aisle, grabbing a big onion.

The two of you continued going from one aisle to another, Eddie grabbing this while talking with you the whole time.

Then the two of you reached the sweets and a grin made its way on Eddie's face. “What do you want to buy me? Gums? Gummies? Something else?” He elbowed you gently.

“Pick whatever you want.” You said with a shrug.

Eddie looked at you and you swore his eyes shined for a quick moment.

As he reached higher, standing onto his tippy toes as his tongue stuck out of his mouth, he heard for the candy. Two small packs of bubble gum and his favorite chocolate.

“It's a pleasure to make deals with you, sweetheart.” Eddie gave you an elegant bow and you couldn't help but chuckle. “We'll have to see if this works or I'll be chewing gum for nothing.”

“Bubble gum breath is still better than cigarette breath.” You pointed out.

“Whatever you say, your Majesty.” With that the two of you made your way to the cashier.

After paying and getting back into the van, Eddie started slowly driving towards your neighborhood.

“So, how was your club this week?” He finally asked and for a moment you weren't sure how to say.

“Well… it was good.”

“Good? Just good?” He raised an eyebrow, a smile was present on his face. “Usually you don't shut up about it until you tell me all the exciting details. Come on, you know I wanna know more.”

You rolled your eyes, looking through the windows, while playing with your bracelet nervously. “Miss Poppy was going on about drawing faces. How you can put simpler shapes before you go into more detail.” You explained. “Also she thought the dragon I drew was really nice.”

Eddie's grin widened. “I told you it looked cool. She knows what's good!” He let out a soft laugh. “You draw, like, the most metal looking dragons!”

You let out a soft chuckle at that, happy to hear what he thought. Eddie always thought high of you as an artist, especially liking your dragon art. He still had the ones you gave him before, hidden somewhere in his room.

It reminded you of when you started talking. Eddie noticed you doodling after classes, he asked what you were drawing and when you showed him the dragon you drew, his eyes seemed to shine. He sat down next to you, immediately asking about the and praising the way you drew. Since that the two of you started talking more and spending time together.

“She also wanted us to draw portraits and…” You let out a soft breath quietly as you gathered your courage. “I was wondering if you wanted to be my subject?”

Eddie went quiet. A smile disappeared from his face and you thought you said something wrong somehow. But then you noticed a blush on his cheeks.

“You want to draw me?”

“Yeah.” You answered, a blush spreading over your cheeks as well. “If you want, though. No pressure. If you don't want to, or you're too busy, I can ask someone else.”

“No!” His voice was louder than he wanted it to be. “I would love to, actually. How about… Sunday? I should be free and you can sketch me all you want for your assignment thingy.”

“Wait, really?”

He nodded, eyes on the road instead of at you.

“I would be happy to help my favorite artist.” He said and you felt something warm in your chest at his words. “L-look, we're here.” He mumbled out as he parked by your house.

“R-right.” You mumbled out. “Do you wanna meet around 11 am? I want to get the best lighting possible.” You added as you unfasten your seat belt. You didn't want to say it out loud, but besides the good lighting, you wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. All day with Eddie sounded like a dream.

“Sounds good. Hopefully I don’t oversleep.” He joked and laughed. “See you at school? then?”

You nodded. “Yup. See you tomorrow. Bye, Eddie.”

With that, you left his van and watched him drive through your neighborhood and then leave it. Butterflies tickled your stomach as you couldn't wait for Sunday.

Sunrays were warm against your skin as you made your way to where you and Eddie were supposed to meet. You have been waiting the whole week on the edge as your head was filled with worries. What if the drawing won't be good enough? What if he doesn't like it? You did your best to avoid such thoughts, but it seemed they were stuck in your head for good.

You shook your head, wanting to get those unpleasant thoughts out of mind. They were no help at all, especially with how stressed you were, clutching onto your bag tightly.

As you neared the Lover's Lake, you saw a familiar van and Eddie leaning against it, one of his legs was bouncing. Perhaps he was as nervous as you were.

“Hey.” You said as you walked closer and Eddie noticed you. “How was your weekend?”

“Hi. It was fine.” He struggled. “Played last night at the hide out, ate the casserole, which yes, it tasted like the one from my childhood.” He let out a soft laugh at that. “Besides that, I didn't do much. What about you?”

“It was fine. Was mostly doing homework and drawing.” You shrugged too.

“You're such a goodie, two shoes. One unfinished homework wouldn't kill you.”

“Oh, sorry. Not all of us wanna fail their classes.” You said sarcastically and he laughed. He then licked his lips, before moving to the back of the van.

“I got us a little blanket and some snacks. Just, you know…” He started grabbing a backpack before closing the door and looking at you, a pink tint already visible on his cheeks. “It would be more comfy than sitting on the grass itself, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” You murmured. If this whole thing didn't feel like a date before, now it sure did.

“So,” he put the backpack over his shoulder. “You have an idea for a spot?”

You nodded, before you started walking and Eddie followed after you. The two of you walked until you found a nice place under a tree. Eddie pulled out a blanket and then a few snacks which after the two of you sat down.

“Do you have a vision already?” He asked as he laid down on the blanket.

“Kinda. I mean, the way you are right now is fine.” You said, pulling out a sketchbook, pencils and an eraser. You bit your lip as you opened the sketchbook on an empty page. You weren't sure where to start exactly, but you tried anyway.

You started with a circle, then lines and the shape of his face. Eddie was looking at you, but stayed quiet and allowed you to draw peacefully.

As you continued, you had trouble with catching Eddie's features just right. You let out a sigh of frustration, grabbing an eraser to try again, yet you still couldn't get it right.

You started to get frustrated, Eddie noticed.

“Hey. Don't stress about it. No need to get so worked up.” He sat up, pushing hair away from his face.

“I just can't… get it right.” You sighed.

“Let me see.” He grabbed your sketchbook and let out a snort. “Oh, well… you tried for sure.” He noticed the embarrassment on your face and his expression softened. “Maybe I can help you somehow?”

“You cannot draw it for me, that's for sure.”

“That's not what I wanted. Give me your hand, I have an idea.” He said softly, reaching for your hand.

You gave it to him without a second thought. His thumb brushed against your palm, sending a shiver down your spine. Then he brought your hand to his cheek.

You felt your cheeks warm up immediately, but also you felt how warm his were under the palm of your hand. He turned almost red.

“Maybe you need to…” His voice was much quieter than before. “Get more familiar with my face?” He suggested and you thought your heart was going to explore right there and then.

“Maybe. Are you sure this is okay?” You asked, not wanting to push his boundaries.

“Yeah. I-I kinda want you to touch me.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. Your other hand found his other cheeks, thumbs brushing against the cheekbones. You allowed yourself to explore his face, gently examining the bridge of his nose, shape of his eyes with the tip of your fingers, the hairs of his brows and the shape of his soft jaw. And the your thumb met his bottom lip, feeling the softness of it.

You weren't sure for how long you seemed to be curious about it, but it definitely caught Eddie's attention.

“If you would like a closer examination, I won't say no.” He said out of nowhere.

“I'm sorry?” You moved your hands away from him as if it suddenly burned you to feel his skin. But he grabbed your wrists gently.

“I said,” He let out a sigh, looking around before looking back at you. “Kiss me. Just kiss me.”

You were stunned, not sure what to say. Was it still about the assignment?

“For the art, right?”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweets.” He whispered before he gently kissed your lips. It was nothing more than a small, sweet peck, but it was enough to make you want to feel his lips on yours again.

“Sorry, I should have asked first.”

You blinked. “Can you do it again?” These words escaped your mouth before you had a chance to stop them. But Eddie smiled at them.

“Sure.”

This time his hands found your face, cupping your cheeks as he moved closer to you and his lips were on your again. Your hands made their way to his waist as you tried to get closer to him.

You tasted the bubble gum, a pleasant surprise as you expected to be met with the taste of the cigarettes or weed. His lips were soft against your own, incredibly gentle with its movement until you felt his teeth on your bottom lip. Not enough to actually hurt you, but enough to tease you.

He then pulled back, his chocolate brown eyes meeting yours.

“I wanted to kiss you, for so long. You literally have no idea.”

“You did?”

Eddie couldn't help but chuckle at your disbelief. “Absolutely. I wasn't sure if you were into me, tho.”

“I thought you wouldn't be into me either.” You mumbled then let out a laugh of your own. “Gosh, we're stupid.”

Eddie giggled again before speaking up once. “Would you like to go back to sketching me or…?”

“Hm…” You tapped your chin, pretending to ponder on the question. “Perhaps I could use a closer examination.”

Eddie didn't argue, he was way too eager to kiss you again, but this time he pulled you onto his lap, as you allowed your hands to get lost in his messy hair. His lips moved against your own, hands gently massaging your waist as he got lost in the feeling of you. He could stay like this forever if he could. Just you in his lap, as he kissed you for the rest of time.

Then you pulled away. “We really should finish that portrait.” You said and Eddie blinked.

“Oh, yeah. Portrait.” It seemed he had completely forgotten that it was the main reason the two of you met.

You got off his lap, grabbing the sketchbook and pencil once more and Eddie laid down onto the blanket. You opened the sketchbook one more, on an empty page to start from the beginning.

“Don't stress out, okay?” Eddie said as you gently pushed away hair from his eyes. “Just take your time. I've got a whole day.”

You gave a nod before you started sketching again. This time you allowed yourself to take time with it, not wanting to overthink the piece. The soft sound of a pencil meeting the page was filling the silence between the two of you. Eddie watched as you frowned and tried not to laugh at how focused you were.

Hee looked beautiful like this. The afternoon sun hitting his face just right, making his eyes appear even prettier than before which you personally thought was impossible. And his smile. He did his best to stay still, but you could see the smile on his face, how he was trying to fight from getting bigger than just a small, subtle smile. It was so cute to see him like that.

Once you were happy with how you captured his face, you gently started shading him. A little bit of stroking on the side of his face and then you used the tip of your finger to get the shadow just right. Then another and another until you were finished.

“What do you think?” You asked as you gave him the sketchbook. Eddie sat up and took it from you, his smile widening instantly.

“It's amazing, sweetheart. I feel like I'm looking into a mirror.” He chuckled. “Miss Poppy is going to lose her mind over this one!”

You smile at his praise, feeling yourself blushing once again. “You think so?”

“Oh, absolutely.” He said without a second thought. “Listen, after you show it to her, can I have it?”

“You want it? Like, seriously?”

“Yeah, why wouldn't I?” He shrugged, a little confused. “It looks nice, not to mention you were the one to draw it. Makes it even better.”

You couldn't hide the smile at his words.

“Okay, you can take it right after the club.”

“Yes!” He chuckled, mostly to himself. You joined him with a giggle of your own at his reaction.

His expression then turned a little shy, putting the sketchbook away. “So how about we eat some snacks, maybe go back to the so-called examination for your future pieces?”

You let out a snort. “Just say you wanna kiss me.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Okay, I do wanna kiss you. Doesn't change the fact that I wanna ask for it in a fun way.”