I Am Alex(andra)

the fucking slapping noise is incredible

This is unsettling.

1-800-R-U-SLAPPIN

Be honest though, the temptation to remove her other arm would always be there in the back of your mind. Symmetry has an undeniable appeal.

the face of a bird who fully understands what he did and will do it again.

WHAT DID HE ORDER???

@zaiqukaj Harpies tho

Big Tofu

Happy Valentine’s day!!!

“she warned him not to be such an apocalyptic fuck hat to strangers” “for who could ever learn to love such a cock waffle” BLESS THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Reblogged recently, but worth reblogging again.

Nothing can top this lol

“if he could learn not to be a pile of indigestible fuck”

I can’t breathe

this is what it’s like having siblings

Accurate

the screech lmfaooo

if you’re american and coming to australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100 percent way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here

what does this say in english

Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs.

jfc