Princess Pluto

Hello internet! My name is Pluto, and this is my blog dedicated to finding self-worth. I intend to use it as a journal/collection of things I find to be true for myself and/or inspiring. I hope to post daily and find mutuals who are on a similar journey.

If you are tired of:

breaking promises to yourself

living life on auto-pilot

lacking confidence

then I believe this blog will be of use!

That's all for now. Let's level up together,

xx

Self-care has taken the Internet by storm in the past few years. It seems like everyone and their mom is obsessed with the idea of taking time to put themselves first (and I completely support that!). But what does self-care actually mean? What does it look like for each individual? I think the conversation is starting to open up around what actions constitute caring for yourself; however, most of us are lost when it comes to starting. Disclaimer: I'm here to provoke thought, not to give you a complete guide that is going to work for everyone. As you can probably tell from the title, my definition of self-care is bounded by intention.

To begin, we often get caught up in the mainstream ideas of what 'self-care' really means. Bubble baths, face masks, maybe going shopping for something you've wanted for a while...we focus on the physical means by which we can take a modem of control in our days. A time to be selfish, if you will. Everything mainstream focused on 'glowing up' inherently covers the physical: your skin, your body, your hair, your clothes. We tend to think of actions that enhance our physical features as self-care, like those mentioned above. We think that we are caring for ourselves when we simply set aside time in our day to do something for our own pleasure. Which is true, but that's not the full definition.

I'm not here to argue that these actions I listed aren't self-care---in the right contexts, they certainly can promote what self-care is supposed to accomplish. What is missing, though, is intention. Intention is putting thought behind our actions in order to comply with a purpose for them. Intention is different from goals because it comes from a deeper place within ourselves. We have to truly think about the 'why' behind an action and if it aligns with our values, and decide to act or not. When we act with intention, our sense of purpose is deepened. Your connection to yourself becomes more profound. We stop flailing at what we think we "should" do based on mainstream opinion, and instead turn inward to what actually guides us, what we actually want to do.

Intention and self-care go hand-in-hand, then. Acting without intention will not get you the result you want from whatever activity you are participating in for 'self-care'; you're simply getting the physical benefit (in the case of bubble baths or face masks). Actual self-care puts intention behind the action: how do you want to feel? Oftentimes, it's a moment of relaxation, which is why we turn to things like soaking in the tub. But other times, we need something different. One culprit is the need for stimulation. We feel the itch to stimulate our brain in some way, so we reach for our phone to doom scroll for cheap dopamine hits. We act without intention, simply opening up social media for the next viral video or highlight reel to make us feel...what? Better? (I know after I doom scroll, I feel worse off, yet I keep doing it for the stimulation). Intention and introspection stops this process.

Approaching self-care from an intentional lens can look different for everyone. Maybe you set an intention to feel a certain way, like calm or relaxed, and you choose your actions to align with that. When you perform those actions, you know it has a purpose that you chose. It can happen the other way around, too: perhaps there's a book you really want to read, so you set the intention of giving yourself distraction-free reading time to feel entertained and engaged with the literature. Intention will give you the power to know exactly why you're doing what you're doing. Self-care without intention is not going to give you all the benefits you could be getting from 'you time'.

So, next time you want to practice self-care, I want you to ask yourself how you are feeling, really. What is your body and mind actually asking for? It will take practice to identify these and couple them with an action. I am still working on it, myself. However, I do know that intentionally approaching an action with the motivation to relax, laugh, or stimulate yourself (or whatever you may need) is going to give you much deeper growth than the simple act of putting on a face mask or running a bath. Rest, deeply. Get to know yourself on your journey, not just what TikTok tells you you should be doing. Level up mentally.

xx

We need to get real about our actual habits in order to live the life we dream about. Our current thoughts shape our actions, which build habits, and over time become your identity. We all label ourselves based on these tiny actions we take over and over each day. A habit of not giving yourself enough time becomes you're the person who's always late. A habit of leaving your messes for the future becomes you're the Type B friend who can never stay organized. A habit of not washing your face means you're acne-prone (not anything against acne, but please, wash your face). These labels shape how you view yourself, and more importantly, how you talk to yourself and what you believe to be true about yourself.

This seemingly simple concept is often overlooked when it comes to conversations about starting new habits. We cannot change what we are doing if we a) don't understand our current situation and habits and b) don't reflect on our self-concept. Our habits form our ideas about our potential; what we believe about ourselves is critical to understanding our self-worth and leveling up our lives. If you believe yourself to be a tardy person, you never allow yourself to change your habit of leaving the house late. If you believe yourself to be unorganized, you won't be successful in keeping your room clean. The underlying beliefs in our psyche are so powerful; they subconsciously define what we can and cannot do.

So, how do we actually change our behavior and habits?

Start with naming the negative traits you apply to yourself. Maybe it's lazy, undisciplined, tardy, unorganized, or something else entirely. Make a physical list. Write them down.

Then reflect on your day-to-day habits that reflect those traits. "I call myself lazy because I doom scroll for 4 hours instead of doing homework." (Been there.) "I call myself unorganized because my room is always messy." etc.

Next, begin questioning the labels and beliefs you have about yourself. "Am I really defined by X habit, or am I making excuses to remain in my comfort zone?" Most of the time, you want to stay in your comfort zone.

Find friction in your daily routine. Define when and where you want your new habits to take place, and feel the tension of wanting to do what you're comfortable with and choosing otherwise. Lean into it; real growth happens outside your comfort zone.'

Congratulations, you have the framework for building new habits! Start small, simply reframing your thoughts about yourself when you notice them. This will help construct your identity around the person you want to be, not the version of you defined by stagnation and plateaus. Changing your self-talk to be aligned with your values and who you actually dream of becoming is the most important step in chasing that dream life. Keep leveling up!

xx

I have hit a mental wall for what seems like the past year. Nothing in my life is sparking the creativity and curiosity that it used to. School was merely a chore to complete; I don't feel like I was passionate about anything I was learning. My hobbies are tied to screens, and I feel uninspired to pick up my crochet hooks or a physical book. There's resistance to the slow, friction-full activities that used to fulfill me.

I am currently unemployed and moving across the country at the end of the year. Because of this situation, I feel like I am in a lull, the in-between of seasons of my life. Having just graduated college, I am looking for an 'adult' job; however, the move on the horizon is almost limiting the opportunities I have. I need ways to occupy my time, so I am coming here to write. One exercise that I found helpful in my journaling practice was allowing myself to ask "what if it all goes right?". This frees my mind of anxiety about everything that could go wrong on a certain path that I choose to take and allows me to connect to the value of dreaming that I outlined on my current vision board.

I want to reconnect with the creative part of me, so I ask myself: "What if I am a writer/content creator/artist? What does she do with her time?" I let my mind dream of the things that I have deemed "unrealistic" paths for myself. I simply need to take the first step of becoming that person who writes, who is curious, who creates. I need to create for myself, not for an audience.

So, dear reader, I challenge you today to imagine what your life could be without the judgment of pragmatism. Allow yourself to dream, to outline exactly what that future version of you does. What if everything goes right?

xx

tw: calories and exercise

My current vision board <3 (I love that you can collage on Pinterest now). Explanation below the cut!

I am 21F residing in the U.S. I recently graduated university and have no clue what my path in life is supposed to be and what I want out of it.

I struggle with asking for (and being honest with myself about) what I need and want due to growing up in a financially unstable household. To this day, I find it hard to spend money on myself for things that are 'unnecessary' or 'frivolous'.

I have a history of eating disorders and a tumultuous relationship with exercise. I've done it all: restrict, binge, compensate with exercise or v0miting. I was invalidated by medical professionals when I sought help. If you're struggling, I see you. I am in a much better place than I was just a few years ago, but I still know the feeling of the voice in your head telling you you're not good enough.

I also have mental health issues. Severe depression almost took my life. Again, if you're struggling: I see You. You matter. Your life matters. I have trouble getting out of bed, getting off my phone, hygiene, and moving my body when I am in depressive episodes. I also have some social anxiety that has led to me having a total of 0 friends outside of my immediate family. I am perpetually lonely and bored.

If I think of more, I will add it here. Either way, I grew up and exist to this day not having a sense of confidence or worth in myself. That is the journey I am on. If that resonates with you, then follow along! Send a DM, I am more than happy to chat.

xx