THE BIRDCAGE (1996) dir. Mike Nichols

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THE BIRDCAGE (1996) dir. Mike Nichols

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personally this is how i'll be tracking 2023
Op I must have missed something. Wtf happened in January because I've never seen that guy in my life
that cat leaked the no fly list

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aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
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obsessed with this person who thinks that im monopolizing the notes industry and taking them away from "real artists." like. hello
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all good things must come to an end and that’s why supernatural won’t die

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As the official tiktok liaison to my friends I have been tasked to share this one on tumblr
as a cishet guy sometimes i just like don’t get queer peoples focus/obsession with labels like. I understand how rewarding and validating it is to find other people who experience the same thing as you do but at the same time I just feel like its very limiting on what a queer experience is
thinking about that one wordless calvin and hobbes sunday strip thats just calvins dad ditching his work to go play in the snow... its going to make me cry
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I will never again know the succulent flavor of a seatbelt
Did anyone else do this
Rave reviews
me when i eat a raising cane’s caniac meal