That Texture sure is Primeval

their anger was justified, anyway.

when will i overcome my fears so that i can just kill myself already? i'm nothing but a waste of space, a burden to the people i claimed to have cared deeply about, and a literal fucking failure to them all. dying is the only way i can atone to my sins. i just need to burn in hell, and maybe then, they can feel free.

then isn't it best for me to just die?

i'll never improve as a person. if i keep pushing others away and never take any initiative to do things myself, then...

i don't know what to do with my life anymore. it all feels meaningless.

how many times have i even apologized now? everyone has surely gotten numb to it by now. my apologies are meaningless to them now, surely. just another empty set of words. no meaning. no commitment.

it's all my fault. i'm so sorry.

i don't deserve good things. i don't...i don't.

it's all my fault. they deserve to hate me. they deserve to wish for my misery. i deserve all of it for being nothing but a selfish, and horrible "friend".

it's just stupid, how i keep pushing them away, how i keep running away, how i'm too scared to come back to face them. i'm just a fucking coward.

i don't deserve friends. i don't deserve to have others care for me. all i'm ever good at is being an ungrateful fucking asshole. that's all i am, and that's all i will ever be. i can't deny that.

hours upon hours were spent helping me and doing their best, and yet i selfishly pushed them away and refused their help. it's no wonder why they got frustrated. it's no wonder why they...

they surely hate me.

i'm. not. a good person. i'm not a good friend. i'm not a good daughter.