The US is crazy bc like so many people have intense conspiracy theories about the government like "I think there's a secret elite group of people who control everything" and you can tell them "actually you're not completely wrong, it's just not a secret group of people, it's a bunch of rich people and lobbyists who are doing it all out in the open" and they'll be like "hmmn I don't think it's THOSE people though. I prefer my racist & antisemitic theories"

They'll be like "I heard there's a powerful ring of pedophiles who are influencing the country" and you'll tell them "I mean yeah that's what the Epstein files are about" and they'll say "no I'm pretty sure this has to do with The Queers actually"

Conspiracy theory no one will ever accept: What if the people secretly controlling the world are the same people obviously controlling the world?

fortune magazine literally keeps a running tally

i used to be passive aggressive, but now i’m aggressively passive. don’t mess with me kiddo. i’ll be right here. i’ll fucking forgive you