Tales of the pretty kitty

But what’s this??

Oh?

OH??

COMES

A…

drinkers? NO CHILL AT ALL. even into adulthood people act like i’ve slain their child when i say i am completely sober. like every single time i’ve said no to drinking some person is like ‘what about jello shots there’s barely any in it’ or they’ll leave me a solo cup of wine ‘in case you change your mind’ and when by the end of the night i haven’t had it they’re all ‘you didn’t want any?’ LIKE? YAH I SAID I DIDNT? 

William. You are so brave for talking shit when you look like this. How many layers of inbred are you? Is your family tree more like a family donut? I can see that you tried with that hairstyle, but you shouldn’t have. You see, Billy Bob, you can’t just take the shavings from your head and sprinkle them on your top lip and call that a mustache. That hairline is trying to run away from your bad opinions. Your eyebrows aren’t even on speaking terms. Every level of your development as a human has been another mistake. And here you sit, on your porn blog, explaining to human women why we can’t be equal until we’re half of the infantry… are you? I find that really hard to believe. Is that what you think makes a person worthwhile? Being a meat shield? Cleetus, if that’s all you aspire to, I’m so sorry. Look at those shoulders. You wouldn’t even be a good meat shield, because someone could shoot at you point blank and still miss

What contribution have you made to society? The largest cumsock collection in all of Alabama? Most Cousins Fucked 2k15? How many confederate flags do you own, exactly?

Okay, so you haven’t gone to class in a few days (or weeks) because you just weren’t feeling yourself. I too struggle with this due to chronic pain, an autoimmune disease, and my anxiety disorder. Now you’re feeling up to it again. Let’s talk about the steps you should take to “catch up.”

Read your syllabus. Figure out what you’ve missed, whether it’s assignments you needed to turn in or lecture material.

Next, email your professors/TA’s. Let them know that you have missed some classes due to personal reasons (you can elaborate if you wish). Ask to come in during office hours to fill in any blanks. Tell them that you appreciate their time/help.

Spend some time with your textbook, going over chapters or slides. Work it out as best as you can. This works best during the weekend!

I would also suggest cleaning your room. Personally, my mind feels a lot less cluttered when my space is clean.

Utilize the pomodoro technique when catching up. Set a timer for 20-25 minutes and work uninterrupted during that time. When the timer goes off, I usually find one of two things occurs: you can either work a couple more minutes to finish your task, or you really needed a break!

You can also eliminate distractions by utilizing apps such as Forest or Pocket Points. Or you can just set your phone in airplane mode, or set it in another room.

Catch up on correspondence. Check your email. Respond to texts, etc. Apologize for your delay in getting back to them.

Make to-do lists! Prioritize what you can do now vs what you can do later.

Utilize a planner to help figure out what you need to do.

I also like to use a dry-erase board to help keep track of impending deadlines.

Reschedule what you need to reschedule.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way - but sometimes my anxiety from missing class makes me feel like it would be awkward to go back after missing several classes. PUSH THOSE THOUGHTS ASIDE! THAT IS YOUR ANXIETY TALKING! IT IS NOT REAL!!! just go to class! You got this!!

Remind yourself that it’s okay to fall short sometimes. Fall down 10 times, get up 10 times.

Ask for help. Most of the time, the people we know would be more than willing to help us, if only they knew we were struggling.

Talk to a tutor/academic advisor if need be.

Know that -if you have been struggling for awhile- taking a semester or two off from school is okay. I did this myself. The semester I came back after taking a year off from school, I went from academic probation to the dean’s list.

Learn to say no. If you have too many irons in the fire, know that it’s okay to say no! Sometimes we cannot work an extra shift, or come to this week’s Himalayan Salt Rock Club meeting (even if we are the president)

Study at a desk. Beds are comfortable; therefore, they are the devil! Perhaps change your scene. Study at a coffee shop or library if you cannot find your focus at home.

Let your support system know what’s up. Again - maybe they can help you, even just with emotional support.

Know that you are not alone!

Recognize that you belong in school. You are worthy of being here.

Relax, and remind yourself why you started. It will be an uphill battle at times, but you can do it.

Find ways to keep yourself motivated and focused when catching up. Remember to take breaks. It’s a marathon right now, not a sprint.

Do not neglect eating, sleeping or personal hygiene. This will DEFINITELY make you feel better. Physical health is important too!

Be proud of any progress you make. Set backs are part of the process.

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

A member of Züchterkreis für den Retromops- the breeding community for the retro pug in Germany- just shared some really amazing pug pictures. Retromops, or old style pugs, are an attempt to make pugs better. Retromops don’t have the same breathing problems; while they still are a brachycephalic breed, they actually DO have some muzzle, as well as better nostrils. (I’d personally like to see more nostril, but they’re still a work in progress.) 

Hallmarks of the retropug include nostrils that can actually be used for breathing…

eyes that don’t pop out of the head…

enough muzzle to actually function… 

and tails that aren’t a health hazard like screw tails are. In addition, retromops are tested for the gene that causes Pug Dog Encephalitis; only dogs without the gene are bred (so no carriers). But the most amazing thing to me? Seeing one of these dogs in action.

https://www.retromopszucht-vom-bromberg.com/english-version/