ᴏᴠᴇʀᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ.

i have neither children or a pet, so i won’t be too much of help. Freddie, though. he sounds like a real sneaky guy. where’d you get his name from?

Oh, he definitely is. They warned me about it when I adopted him, but I didn’t think it’d be this bad. Please don’t make fun of me, but his full name is Freddie Purrcury.

I was gonna say I was truly impressed by the strength of your child and their dedication for food. Also, what a fancy human! Aiming straight to leftovers instead of milk or… whatever babies eat. But knowing it’s your cat… I am even more admirative. Have you tried not giving Freddie food from the table, or, you know, have you fed him recently? 

Well, I certainly hope my future children won’t be this sneaky. I don’t give him food from the table -- not intentionally, at least -- as that’s exactly what they told me not to do at the shelter, and he gets plenty of cat proof meals during the day. He just... loves stealing food. It’s becoming a serious problem. You sound like you’ve got experience with this kind of situation, though. Do you have any pets yourself?

I see your cat hasn’t stopped sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. It was bad enough when we hooked up I was there, but opening the fridge door and eating your food sounds like a new low.

At least you can train dogs not to meddle in your shit. Cats have a mind of their own.

Yeah... again, sorry about that. He can be a bit of a handful at times. I’m just really glad it didn’t ruin the mood too much.

Well, believe it or not, but I did manage to teach him his name so far. So who knows what we can accomplish with a bit of training. Do you have any pets?

Don’t know a thing about child proof anything, but it sounds like your leftovers must be pretty delicious. What are you making over there? And yes, if you’ve guessed I’m hungry, you’re right. I’m absolutely ravenous over here.

I’m afraid my cat isn’t nearly picky enough to judge my cooking skills based on his opinion, but I’ll take the compliment. It was fettuccine carbonara, and you are more than welcome to try it sometime.

You’re so right. Self care is productive, so don’t knock your Masterchef binge! Although I’d personally choose Cutthroat Kitchen if we’re picking from the culinary competition genre. 

Alright, you definitely have a point if you put it that way. I guess we all just need a night like that every now and then. Cutthroat Kitchen is amazing as well! Maybe even better, now that you mention it. Although I do love the drama that comes with Masterchef too. Both of them can get pretty intense -- almost as intense as that shift of yours must have been yesterday. 

Oh, Freddie is my cat, by the way. Probably should’ve mentioned that sooner...

“i might have lived in the city my whole life, but there is one thing i will never get used to. the weather.” rachel leaned towards the person by her side and gave them an apologetic smile as she fixed her coat. “you never know what to expect! are you going to end all squeezed up in the subway because it’s raining or will you freeze to death when it starts snowing?” she had nothing to complain about, considering she would most likely ask to use the private limo of the theater, but, she was at least trying to be relatable. “i’m sorry about that, i think i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

tagging: @pretendingstarters​

“Oh, tell me about it,” Blaine said, smiling back at Rachel as he linked his arm through hers. “The weather back in Ohio wasn’t exactly exciting, but at least it was somewhat predictable. Now I’ve got to bring an umbrella at all times and just hope for the best. I’m not complaining, though -- I guess it’s simply one of New York City’s many charms. Is everything okay, though? Any particular reason you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?”

FRANK: Someone tried to pitch me a musical on the subway. It was about Subway, the sandwich shop.

FRANK: I love New York.

Tried to meet up with my Scruff date until I found out that he was in Staten Island. Like you expect me to take a ferry to hook up? Honestly, the nerve to pull that shit when I can find perfectly acceptable lay in Manhattan. @pretendingstarters​

And what if he took a ferry? It goes both ways, after all. Would you still say no?

Kenzie: Mamma Mia or Into The Woods????

Kenzie: THESE ARE DECISIONS I CAN'T MAKE BLAINE. HELP ME.

Blaine: If you're asking me which movie version you should watch, I'll say Mamma Mia any day of the week.

I just wasted my dark day. Got invited somewhere. Said YES, like an idiot. Hanging out with friends is a sham… especially if said friend invites you to a fuckin’ church. If church is for you, God bless, but I could’ve slept all day instead. Could’ve ordered food in, marathoned some trashy TV.

I mean... at least now you know what you’ll be doing next Monday? A surprise church visit sounds unappealing on any day of the week, let alone on your dark day. 

Having a social media presence is really taking its toll on me. It was one thing to have teenage girls with Ben Platt in their profile pictures call me hot and try to make me join their groupchats consisting of prepubescent theatre kids talking about their middle school production of Godspell, but I don’t know how one’s meant to respond to being called both ‘skinny af’ and ‘thicc’ every time I post a picture, it seems pretty damn contradictory. I know they’re meant to be compliments, but I feel like consensus has to be reached. Am I a skinny legend or a thicc bitch? I don’t know if I can’t be both.

@pretendingstarters​

You can be anything you want to be, Jesse.

That feeling when a drunk asshole decides to ruin everyone’s night by smashing a beer bottle against some other dude’s head… Sometimes I just wanna go full JWoww while at work - If you wanna stay and get your ass beat, you can stay and get your ass beat. You wanna stay and get your ass beat, you can get your fucking ass beat. But alas I’ll keep smiling since the show must go on. Whatever, at least I swindled an extra $100 from him before he got carried out in cuffs. How’s your night been?

@pretendingstarters​

Oh God, that sounds... intense. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you’d gone JWoww on that guy. Men, am I right? I spent most of the night watching Masterchef with my cat, so you definitely win when it comes to productivity. 

☆ did you hear the rumor? BLAINE ANDERSON has been spotted in the big apple! HE is 24 y-o and works as a BROADWAY PERFORMER. some things never change, because HE is still DEDICATED but also DRAMATIC. psst! we did our research and found out that HE is being stalked by a fan. i wonder how long BEE will play pretend! ☆ {darren criss, glee character}. ( @pretendinghq​​ )