Presidentblr

When worlds collide...

Two Woke minds in one picture...seeing this might make Matt Walsh drop dead! Thank you oh @strange-aeons for helping me spread my Woke agenda.

@nixon-official

I'm bisexual, and I'm pretty sure Jack is too. He never talks about the women he's been with when he's with me - probably because he knows I'd get jealous. But I read in his therapy notes that he gets headaches unless he has sex every day, so I thinks it's more like he's addicted to having sex with women.

But with Jack and me, it's different. I see myself reflected in those wise gray eyes of his, and I know he doesn't just see me as another hot piece of ass UNLIKE ALL THOSE SEX PERVERTS WHO CONSTANTLY SEND ME CREEPY ASKS OBJECTIFYING ME!!!! He values my mind. Our love first truly began in 1960 during the battle of wits that was our first presidential debate.

Happy America! As you know, I am a big fan of this Great Nation. Or at least, what it stands for. SOMEBODY decided to mess it up and make it all icky and fascist 🙄

(One could argue my original presidency started the downward spiral to our current capitalist hell but We Don't Need To Talk About That)

Fear not, my little Wokelings! I have a plan! Today on this lovely 4th of July, I will be sneaking up to Washington to seduce Donald Trump with my sexy, fishnet covered legs and manipulate him into resigning as president and firing his whole cabinet.

Yippee!

With my power over Mr. Trump, I will begin our UPWARD SPIRAL toward Woke! MWAHAHAHAH!

Never say I don't do good things for you.

Remember to rebel and do crime and never stay silent about your Woke. Fight the power! Use fireworks to injure government officials! Be genuinely sexy! And remember to...

Vote for Reagan 2028!

I am powerless - I cannot repress it

I can never atone for my sins

I will hurt people again and again and again

No good deeds can mitigate the destruction and suffering I have begotten

Join me on the Dark Woke side....it will save us from our sins! By making us sin more!

You are not irredeemable. You just have yet to use your power for the right cause.....that cause could be DARK WOKE!!!!!!!

After all the effort I put into campaigning for the tumblr sexyman poll, I lost. IN THE FIRST ROUND! This is truly tragic. And on top of that, MULTIPLE opponents have appeared and challenged me in the 2028 presidential race!!!

Is this an omen? Am I to lose the presidency much like the poll?

But fear not, my little Wokelings...Daddy Reagan has a plan...

WE WILL RISE ONCE AGAIN!!!!!! INTRODUCING DARK WOKE!!!!!!!

We must get Militant with this shit. No longer will we be inviting newcomers into Woke. They will be FORCED!!!! They will be Woke whether they like it or not!!!!

My NEW rules of Dark Woke:

Forcefemme for all. You WILL be a woman. I don't care what your identity is Get She/Her'd.

Pride discourse battles every weekend. We will debate to see which identity is the most oppressed TO THE DEATH!!!!! Also no bisexuals allowed for obvious reasons (perceived heteronormativity).

Activism Witch Hunts. If we deem your activism not leftist enough we are going to throw you to the Den Of Lions Daniel-style (the lions in this case are conservatives we are keeping in a closet and feeding primarily a diet of raw tofu).

Everybody must own my new car that I am making called the WokeTruck pictures coming later it's like super cool and edgy.

Dark Woke is the future. It will win us the White House. Except for we will rename it the POC House.

RISE MY WOKELINGS!!!!! FEEL THE RIGHTEOUS WOKE ANGER BUBBLING FROM WITHIN!!!!

I need you to put on the cat ears and tail Nixon.

YOU NEED TO DO IT NIXON.

FOR AMERICA.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/85242601

Warning - the following fanfiction contains explicit material. Dead dove, do not eat:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/85242601

Okay... This was...wow.

First of all...Nixussy?? Why. Why why why why why why why!!!! 😫😫😫😫😫

Second of all, I, RICHARD MILHOUS NIXON, NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WOULD USE ILLICIT ILLEGAL DRUGS AS THIS FANFIC CLAIMED!! 😡😡😡🤬🤬

My fellow Americans, I have the most incredible item to share with you. Today at Nashville Galaxycon an incredibly Woke and Patriotic artist allowed me to commission myself PREGNANT! Oh Joy! And on top of that, @assassin-pierre-trudeau is the father!

Everyone say thank you @doriesdoodles for spreading this Sexy, Sexy joy! I've been told this piece may be available as a print soon...you should check out their instagram to learn more mayhaps...

My personal favorite part is how distinct my nipples are. Truly magnificent.

You'll be lucky if our Hypothetical Gay Baby gets ANYTHING from you. These Woke genetics run strong!

@nixon-official

I'm bisexual, and I'm pretty sure Jack is too. He never talks about the women he's been with when he's with me - probably because he knows I'd get jealous. But I read in his therapy notes that he gets headaches unless he has sex every day, so I thinks it's more like he's addicted to having sex with women.

But with Jack and me, it's different. I see myself reflected in those wise gray eyes of his, and I know he doesn't just see me as another hot piece of ass UNLIKE ALL THOSE SEX PERVERTS WHO CONSTANTLY SEND ME CREEPY ASKS OBJECTIFYING ME!!!! He values my mind. Our love first truly began in 1960 during the battle of wits that was our first presidential debate.

EVERYTHING THAT WENT WRONG IS ALL MY FAULT!