precious diaries :)

You used to wrap yourself up in fairytales like a blanket. But it was the cold you loved. Sharp shivers as you uncovered The corpses of Bluebeard’s wives. Sweeter goosebumps as Prince Charming slid one glass slipper over your little toes. Perfect fit.

But by the school yard real princesses floated by you on fall winds. You saw the gulf between you and the rich girls and vowed to stop believing in fairytales. But the stories were in you, deep as poison.

If Prince Charming was real. If he could save you,You needed to be saved from the unfairness of everything. When would he come?

…

You learned you didn’t have whatever magic turns a beast into a prince. You surrounded yourself with the girls you always resented. Hoping to share their power. And you hated yourself. And that diminished you even more. And then, right when you thought you might disappear… he saw you.

And you knew somewhere deep it was too good to be true. But you let yourself be swept, because he was the first strong enough to lift you. Now in his castle you understand, Prince Charming and Bluebeard are the same man. And you don’t get a happy ending unless you love both of him.

Didn’t you want this? To be loved? Didn’t you want him to crown you? Didn’t you ask for it? Didn’t ask for it? Didn’t you ask for it?

So say you live like this. Say you love him. Say thank you. Say anything but the truth, “what if you can’t love him back?”