Accepting who I am

I am so tired of never being able to do anything right ever. It's honestly the worst thing ever mostly because you are the one who is constantly being shit on. Doesn't matter how nice you are to someone it's a constant stream of bullshit. People don't actually give a damn about you, they pretend like they do, and they will lead you on to believe they care but in the end you are the only person you have to depend on and that is going to have to be enough. I might be a "tough" girl but I still have feelings, I bleed, cry and feel like a "normal" person. I'm tired of being tired all the time. Why can't it be easy, I try to be happy and fail miserably because being nice to someone isn't worth it anymore. I don't normally look for anything in return when I help someone, but I'd like a thank you or I appreciate it once in awhile. I'm tired of feeling like the only time I'm good to anyone is when they need something and no one else will help them. Tired. I'm not a last resort.

I will honestly drop whatever I'm doing for someone and do what they need me to do. I will pull an all nighter so I can wake them up on time, I will make sure they have everything they need before I take a look at my own needs, I will always put them first so long as they give me a reason too. And people call me hopeless, I just want to see that someone happy, why is that hopeless?

I had a  really awesome time last night on the town with 3 of my best guy friends, we walked the boardwalk, explored the drunk lamp posts, ventured around town and just looked completely ridiculous and didn't give two shits. All this because they wanted pizza and I happened to know a good spot. We left at 10:30 and came back at 2.  One of the best nights ever :)

Just sayin' , you won't see me coming.