/ * angel baby!

chest  is  bare,    tanned  skin  cast  in  the  soft  glow  of  neon  that  streams  in  from  a  cracked  windowpane,   shimmering  with  a  sheen  of  sweat.    each  breath  brings  a  new  wave  of  nausea,    features  twisting  in  discomfort  as  his  body  threatens  to  lurch  towards  the  bathroom.   if  it’s  not  that,    it’s  the  shivers  the  wrack  through  him,   shuddering  through  aching  muscles  as  he  twists  in  bed.        hanbin  won’t  stand  this  feeling  for  much  longer        ―        physical  loneliness,    that  staggeringly  powerful  craving  for  simple  proximity  to  another  human being,   someone  who  understands  him,   mingling  with  the  insatiable  need  to  fill  that  hollowness  with  opiods.      typically  these  kinds  of  things  weren’t  up  to  debate  for  hanbin    ;    his  body’s  violent  reactions  made  it  increasingly  difficult  to  argue.    sparing  himself  a  continuation  of  the  timeless  saga,   the  one  in  which  he  half - heartedly  attempts  to  battle  his  own  demons,   he digs  out  his  phone  from  beneath  the  mess  of  blankets  he’s  been  tangled  in  all  day  to  dial  eungsoo’s  number.

it  RINGS   …   and  RINGS   …   and  RINGS        ―        until  finally  elder  picks  up.    thank  god.    his  own  pitiful  voice  immediately  spills  through  the  speaker  as  the  line  connects,   melancholy  and  withdrawal  evident  in  his  tone,    “   hyung,    can  you   ..   come  over ?     i  ..  i  don’t  feel  good.    i’m  sick,   ”    intonation  would  beg  a  stranger  to  ask  his  true  intentions,   but  eungsoo  need  not  ask        ―        he  was  all  too  familiar  with  this  sickness.    fingers  rake  through  his  hair  to  push  unkempt  bangs  from  his  eyes,   features  twisting  in  a  pained  wince    (  everything  ached,    down  to  the  roots  of  his  hair.  )

                               “   i  didn’t  know  who  else  to  call,      please.   ”

a  part  of  him  doesn’t  want  what  he  knows  eungsoo  will  bring,    yet  the  other  paces  with  anticipation.    bare  lift  him  out  of  the  bed  and  it  feels  like  he’s  learning  to  walk  again,    movements  stiff  as  he  makes  his  way  into  the  bathroom    ;      steps  quicken  as  stomach  lurches.    “   i  have  to        ―   ”    hasty  good  bye  is  punctuated  by  a  muted  heave,   call  ending  as  to  not  subject  other  to  what  followed.

                                      the  day  had  been  slow  and  boring,    eungsoo  was  stuck  at  home  doing  what  was  his  only  duty  right  now:    taking  care  of  his  father's  mother  who  was  slowly  fading  away  right  in  front  of  his  very  own  eyes.    though  close   once,   back  when  he  was  nothing  but  a  misunderstood  child  fighting  the  good  fight,    their  paths  had  come  to  an  end  not  long  after  he  was  taken  away  from  family  and  locked  up  behind  bars.    his  father  convinced  her  that  he  was  nothing  but    the  devil    itself  when  that  was  so  far  from  the  truth    –    unfortunately  trusting  her  only  son  more  than  a  troubled  teen  now  sentenced  to  suffer  the  consequences  of  a  crime  he  had  committed  when  nothing  else was  an  option.    funny,    how  he  was  left  with  the  burden  that  was  taking  care  of  someone  so  badly  ill  when  she  was  the  one  who  abandoned  him  in  the  first  place.    no  empathy  left  for  her,    a  part  of  him  couldn't  wait  for  the  day  she would  pass  away  to  finally  set  him  free.

but  this  job  of  his  was  cut  short  for  the  night  as  he  heard  a familiar  tone  ringing in  the  kitchen.    throwing  a  blanket  over  his  sleeping  grandmother  before  grabbing  the  empty  plates  from  her  bedside  table,    it  took  him  a  while  to  make  his  way  to  where  the  sound  was  coming  from.   

                                                                               ....    ✆  CALLER  ID:    YUK  HANBIN.

call  was  accepted,    but  no  words  needed  to  leave  his  mouth  before  the  younger  one  started  talking.    the  two  of  them  had  known  each  other  a  while,    met  through  a  mutual  friend  or  two  and  were  brought  closer  due  to  a  certain  hobby  they  both  shared.    one  that  was  no  good,    making  people  sick  like  hanbin  was  now  when  not  done  on  a  regular  basis.    the  way  he  spoke  sounded  awfully  familiar:    eungsoo  could  practically  feel  the  pain  simply  from  listening  to  the  other's  voice.    been  there  before,    the  call's  content  left  him  with  only  one  option    –    he  had  to  go.    during  their  short  conversation  the  only  answer  he  ever  gave  him  was  a  simple    ‘    yes.    ’    at  the  very  end  before  the  line  was  cut  and  he  was  put  into  action.

though  often  not  willing  to  share  what  was  his,    going  over  to  hanbin's  place  empty  handed  felt  wrong.    eungsoo  was  not  too  well  educated  on  his  current  situation:    whether  he  wanted  to  get  clean  or  not,    or  if  he  simply  had  no  money  left  to  get  what  his  body  was  so  addicted  to,     but  when  getting  a  call  so  desperate  it  didn't  really  matter.    if  it  wasn't  for  opiods,    why  would  he  go  through  the  trouble  of  calling  eungsoo?    a  small  container  with  a  few  pills  left  inside  was  tucked  into  the  depth  of  his  pocket  before  grabbing  a  set  of  keys  from  where  they  were  left  before,    it  took  him  a  total  of  five  minutes  to  get  out  the  door.    lucky  for  hanbin,    the  distance  between  their  apartments  wasn't  longer  than  a  twelve  minute  walk  either  so  a  knock  on  the  door  could  be  heard  in  no  longer  than  a  total  of  seventeen  minutes.    

                                   the brightness not only bothered his sleep,   but was enough to pull him out of a dream he could no longer remember.   well,   parts of it came flashing back as soon as he opened his eyes,   but even then it was hard to tell what was the product of his imagination and what actually had happened the night before.   he had been drinking to the point where most of the evening was nothing but forgotten,   apart from........    shit.

                                                                                                           where the fuck am i?

what he saw above him was for sure not the ceiling of his own apartment,   oh no.   as he let his gaze wander around his surroundings through half opened eyes,   he realized those were not the walls of his room either,   nor the sheets in his bed.   worst of all,   he could feel something–   no,   someone,   moving.   eungsoo wasn't huge on hookup culture and the last time he checked,   he wasn't dating.   the way he felt in that very moment was heavily foreshadowing the future,   how in his head this was nothing but a huge mistake:   a red flag concerning his very own behavior.   though he had a strong idea about who the person next to him was,   it took him a very long time to get the courage to even look.   none of the people he had been spending time with the night before were good,   nothing but a group of junkies   (   like himself   )   that in the end could get him in even more trouble.

ever since her parents separated, her father has been more and more preoccupied with his work as a cop. eunchae understood that work was his coping mechanism. as a daughter, she worried much about him because all they had was each other now. every morning, she made sure to drop by the station he worked at to bring him some food. much to her surprise, she was greeted by a familiar face at the station. chungho had a reputation and quite frankly, she wasn’t surprised to see him there. it wasn’t like they were friends for her to be worried anyway. they were the polar opposites with zero reasons to interact until now. 

eunchae merely glanced up at him, rolling her eyes as she adjusted the bag strap on her shoulder. “ had fun sitting at the police station ? i bet the floor was really warm. ” she countered, a teasing smile on her lips. “ is there a reason you’re approaching me ? because until this morning i was pretty sure you didn’t know i existed. ” 

                                       to his surprise,   her response was a lot more quirky than expected from the nerdy,   quiet girl in class.   the way she snapped back at him reminded him of the total opposite:   another kid from school,  someone he was known to be spending time with,   who some would call   the popular and cool girl,   a typical fashionista with no filter.   funny how the two of them weren’t the bestest of friends,   he thought to himself.   ‘   i did.   ’   an answer so short and sweet at first was soon to be continued.   ‘   they even gave me a pillow,   bet your dad never told you about those.   it’s not as   cold and cruel   out there as he might make it seem.   ’   why people saw police officers as the coolest,   most fascinating people in the world was a question he never figured out the answer to.

                                       what a coincidence.  never in a million years did he even imagine running into someone he knew at the station earlier that morning,  but her out of all people?  the class’ most quiet,  reserved student whose voice he could barely even recognize turned out to be the daughter of that very police officer that had taken care of him.  more trouble was   not   what he needed now:  his parents were livid at the fact that he took part in such a stupid activity with a couple of his friends they already disliked in the first place.   ‘   they’re not good kids.  you are not allowed to bring them into this house.  they are going to ruin you,  your focus should be on nothing but school.    ’   one of the many examples how they would go on and on nagging him about how awful their friendship was.  it was obvious,  he had to make sure eunchae was not going to say a word about what she saw before school.