screw off new york

Hold me closer tiny bastard

The unholy trinity.

I hate it when vodka tries to be fancy and use fancy adjectives to describe their products like I’m drinking fucking gasoline okay like this isn’t wine tasting we’re all here to get black out trashed and you know it

the littlest nope

no offense but mental illness has robbed me of so much

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant “two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’” “got it. check my dashboard” “that skeleton gif you like is back again” he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

this is what i imagine david karp does with his time considering that tumblr hasn’t been improved for about three odd years