From Bump To Princess

This week I actually started to feel pregnant. I mean I was aware that I was, but I started to get all the symptoms that niggle at you and don't seem to budge no matter what I did.

I'm currrently on holiday in sunny wales, and I've all of a sudden found myself sweating LOADS 😩 my body temperate is sky high, I could be sat down doing absolutely naff all and still be dripped in wet. Can't say that's my favourite look 😂 I've been drinking loads of water, which does help, but then I find myself needing a wee every 30 seconds haha. The only way around that was to sip my drinks and just add tons of ice.

I was also a bit wary of wearing my bikini in the pool. The last time I wore it was when I was around 11 weeks. I wasn't very big then, but I feel bloody humungous now! It actually didn't look as bad as I thought it would. And I've definately learnt how to embrace the bump 😀

The best thing about being in the second trimester is being to eat proper again. I love my runny eggs and steak. Obviously you still need to be a bit careful on what you eat, but my hunger has no limits right now 😂 proper foodie me! Haha

So I've had to write a few posts to catch up with the 20 weeks that have flown by and I've completely forgotten to introduce myself 😂🙈

So I'm the mum to be behind this blog.

My names Lauren and I'm 28.

I wasn't actually planning on ever having children, I was always more career minded and had always set myself goals regarding that.

But hey! I'm not one to turn down a challenge, and I fully expect motherhood to be just that!

Aswell as giving you updates, tips and tricks, I will fully appreciate loads of involvement and others people opinions on things. I'm new to this right? I'm never going to know everything!

The reason I decided to do this blog was because I wanted something my little girl can look back on in years to come. I want to be brutally honest about everything, which will probably put her off parenthood forever 😂

So this is me! A face to the blog at last!

I can't believe I've made it to 20 weeks. It has gone so fast! I was expecting everything to just drag but I've been so busy with work and my mum, that I've barely gave it a second thought.

I had my 20 week scan at 18 weeks 5 days. Everything was healthy and on track and it seems I have a little thumb sucker 😍

I also had to make sure I was still having a girl, even though I'd already brought a wardrobe full of pink haha.

On the bump front, I feel massive but I've been told I'm a normal size for the amount of weeks that I am. I guess I'm just not used to carrying the extra weight around with me.

I love having a bump. In a way it helps me feel even more connected to my little girl, watching it grow week by week. The only downside is finding clothes I like that actually fit.

I found that Asos have the best range of maternity clothes and also new look.

I know this post doesn't tie in with pregnancy and babies to many of you...but to me it does. At 19 weeks pregnant I lost my mum,after a long battle with cancer.

When I first found out I was pregnant she was over the moon. She couldn't care less about who the daddy was and why he wasn't there. All she cared about was becoming a nana.

It was her enthusiasm about everything that helped me get over any worries and anxiety I had about the whole situation.

After my 12 week scan it was becoming clear that mum didn't have long left. So instead of focusing on the bad she focused on helping the baby to have memories of her in lots of different ways.

I purchased a book from etsy called "letters to my baby", mum wrote a letter to her for each year up until the age of 18. She put in stories about me as a child and lots of pictures so it all made sense.

Another thing we managed to do is get a recording of my mum singing twinkle twinkle little star. That recording was then sowed inside of a teddy my mum had picked for her and will always be near her.

And of course she chose the name, which I still don't know, but I have no doubt she chose a good one ☺️

I won't lie, it's been the hardest few weeks ever and I don't expect the pain of losing her to ever go away.

But I promise my daughter will always be told stories about her nana and what she was like. And I know my mum will always be with us.

Typically I would have left the gender as a surprise but 1. I hate buying white and cream coloured clothing when there's so much more on offer colour wise...and 2. My mum was very very unwell and I wanted her to choose the name so I had no choice but to find out sooner rather than later.

We opted for a gender scan at a private clinic called window to the womb. The staff there were so nice, they gave me half an hour extra to walk up and down some stairs as baby was being awkward during the first try.

Luckily we did find out...and I'm having a bouncing baby girl 💗💗

As I said I would have been happy with any gender, but it does feel even more special being a single mummy and having a little girl looking up to you☺️

Some days I'm absolutely fine, then the next I can't even remember what I did 5 minutes ago 😂🙈

Baby brain has definately taken over! I've had to put sticky notes all over my computer screen in work, just so I have reminders of what needs to get done the next day. They are my angels! Without them I would be nothing! Haha.

I think the worst thing I've done so far during this pregnancy that I can totally blame baby brain for, is eating dog food 😂

So I went and done my weekly shop at the supermarket and saw a bag of what I thought was beef jerky on offer for £1. Picked it up and thought nothing of it.

Before I went to drive home, I reached for them and ate like Half the packet before I reached home.

Whilst packing everything away I saw the bag said treats on it, so I looked on the back, to which it had a picture of a puppy and the words " dog treats"

Yes, I ate dog food, yes they were actually pretty tasty! 😂

I had my first scan at 12 weeks 4 days.

I can only liken it to an out of body experience 😂

I can remember just lying there and seeing this little thing moving around on the screen. I think because I couldn't feel it moving, yet it was inside me, was just very odd! Hands moving, legs moving, it didn't feel real at all.

I did have tears of happiness though. Just knowing that little life with that little heartbeat was all mine just took my breath away.

Up until 10 weeks I honestly thought I'd be one of those lucky ones that completely got away with not having morning sickness.

I felt no different when I woke up to any other day. Loads of energy, worked 9-5 without tiredness. I was a force to be reckoned with!

That was until one night When I was visiting my parents. I sat by my dad, watching tv and he opens a packet of pork scratchings.

I have never gone from 0 to green in less than a minute until this point. It was the smell. And since that point certain smells would set me off.

I could smell someones lunch at work and then spend most of the afternoon stuck to the toilet. It was horrendous!

Sometimes it wouldn't just be me being sick, I would literally dry heave too.

I saw my midwife for the first time around 9-10 weeks.

I honestly thought it would be a really nice experience, oh how wrong was I?! 😂

The room was sooo small and was literally baking. My face was turning to some kind of dewy mush and it smelt so clinical it made me heave.

That being said the midwife was lovely. I think I underestimated how long I'd actually be there for. The amount of questions that were asked, even about "J" and his side of the family. It honestly felt like forever!

And then to top it all off I saw needles 😳I didn't realise they wanted blood too!

I have a really huge phobia about them, so the midwife got me to lay down and promised it wouldn't be that bad. " only a small prick" she goes...🤔SMALL PRICK?! I cried, I was sick and I basically passed out 😂 just basically a total baby about it lol.

So the hardest thing I've experienced so far in this pregnancy is telling "J" he was going to be a daddy and also his side of his family.

Safe to say "J" didn't take it well at all. I said I will never Bad mouth him and I stick to my word, I just hate people like him right now. Perhaps hate is a strong word, maybe I just don't understand the logic?

Anyhoo, I decided I would message his sister and give her and his mum the opportunity of being involved, as I'm not a mean person and I believe they have the right to know the baby.

What a complete waste of time. All I got called was a liar, had DNA test ideas thrown at me and to be honest, I was treated terribly considering her brother is just as bad as me. Worse actually, seeing as he chose to walk away 🙄

I decided I couldn't risk the stress so cut all contact with them. They even changed their names on Facebook, how pathetic is that?!

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that everything was sunshine and flowers when I found out I was expecting. No offence to anyone who are struggling to conceive but I was actually really upset. Not because the thought of being a mum didn't fill me with joy, just because I knew I had gotten into a whole new level of crap involving the baby's dad.

So picture this, 2 weeks before finding out... I met said one, who we will just call "J" for now. Barely spoke to him. I was soooo drunk on wine and beer my uncle had fed me ( yes I blame him for that!😂) that I took it upon myself to text him after he had finished work.

I think I actually asked if he wanted to go for a walk , which probably would have been the idea thing to do, considering he's now in a situation he quite clearly doesn't want to be in!

Anyway "J" didn't want to walk, instead he invited me over to his place where things got quite out of hand quickly. I will be honest and say I don't really remember a whole lot of it apart from a few things I will mention in further posts.

Yes I am so ashamed of how my baby was conceived but it doesn't make me love it any less, believe me ☺️

And there we have it, 2 weeks later, I'm sat on the toilet holding a stick full of wee in actual disbelief.