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I created this blog mainly to act as my hub for my ongoing Homestuck fic, Apperification, but it might just end up as a place a reblog Homestuck stuff to to inspire me. Feel free to ask questions (if the option exists for sideblogs, I am still very confused about how that works) if you're curious about something :>
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jade and pm. the relationship between jade and pm-- or, more importantly, the lack thereof. im so emotional about this right now actually.
its. if wv and june's throughline is revolution and denying the narrative, then jade and pm's throughline is a sense of duty and suffering for the narrative. much has been said about jade being a piece in skaia's plan and the absolute heartwrenching reality that creates for her. i think everyone knows and understands this at this point. this is like, homestuck 101: jade harley feels a sense of duty to skaia because skaia has promised her her friends, and thus jade harley spends her entire life suffering in pursuit of the goal of one day making things alright.
of course, much has been said about pm in the same vein: pm's whole thing is that she has a duty to fulfill and protect the sanctity of The Mail and to ensure that it is delivered appropriately such that her community is assured. in doing so, she loses everything. she gives up her society, gives up her people, gives up her pacifism in pursuit of her duty-- and, when that duty is fulfilled, she loses everything again and is met with a new duty to avenge them all.
it is when we look at the relationship between pm and jade-- or, notably, the lack thereof --that there's something so much more interesting shining through here.
because they didn't just give up the worlds they loved, for their first duties. they gave up the exile-player relationship. not literally-- neither of them chose to give that relationship up, neither of them directly cause that relationship's abandonment --but in a very practical sense: jade has no guardian, because jade's life is a sacrifice to skaia, and so she is raised by bec-- and thus loses her exile, as bec refuses to allow a spy to watch her. on pm's side of things, it is by treating jade as a person that she has this relationship removed-- by reaching out to jade and questioning if she is the same as the person pm worked for, by asking direct questions, by recognizing jade as the object of her most important duty and thus following through on that duty.
they are the only exile/player pair that we know of who don't get at least a conversation in. the only pair that don't get at least a few commands. even the windswept questant gets something to rose-- a couple lines, enough to direct her on a path forwards.
pm does not get this. jade does not receive this. their duties to skaia deny them this experience, in a roundabout way, because their duties to skaia necessitate that both of them have their lives erased in favor of following the path laid out for them.
what, then, of the three-year journey? jade alone on the yellow yard, the prospitian monarch alone in her pursuit of jack. jade defending and maintaining the planets, the prospitian monarch defending and maintaining the memory of prospit. together, the two of them hold their home. together, they share an echo of the history that once was and yet never will be again.
isolation and mourning in the name of skaia's plans. isolation and mourning in the name of duty, of honor, of a happy ending.
and then something strange happens.
because pm and jade are the only exile/player pair where the exile does not guide the player-- but they are also the only exile/player pair who meet each other during collide. where jade guides pm. the only pair where, even post-exile, the player of the pair has guidance and command over the exile in question.
it is a fascinating reversal of roles. it is not the only thing to be said about the jade and pm relationship-- there is so much, there is so much --but it is an interesting thing to take into consideration. a reclamation of sorts, for both of them, a new path, a new dawn, where they can both break out of the molds skaia has built for them, where they can shed the shackles of their duties and begin to live, to heal, to exist as themselves rather than the duties laid out for them.
Jade and Dave binging all the Barbie movies together, Dave for ironic purposes, Jade cause she's nostalgic for them. In a twist of fate Dave ends up enjoying them semi-earnestly while jade is more cynical, nitpicking all the plot holes and nonsensical writing choices because they're not as good as she remembers.
I just want to see life through the eyes of someone who read Homestuck after the rise of Undertale's popularity. I wanna know how they reacted to [s] Wake. I want to be a fly on the wall of every person who goes into that blind.
imagine. you are someone who grew up on the internet, somewhere around 2010. in september of 2015, you hear of undertale, and it very quickly consumes your life. looking back on it now, you would probably say undertale was "your childhood." you were watching theory videos on youtube, binging the soundtrack, you even did tons of runs and replays of the game yourself. by 2018, undertale is cemented as an unshakable part of the internet and meme culture, and the more time goes on the more you look back fondly on it, but life goes on.
then it's 2020. your college closes down due to what is being called a potential pandemic. people start making jokes, "haha, since we're all stuck inside with all this free time, the ultimate irony is that now is the perfect time to read..."
homestuck. you've heard of it, vaguely, but despite it also being kind of pervasive in the culture, you've never really been able to parse what it is actually about. no time like the present, you decide, and you tear into it, and it's good.
Three-thousand two-hundred and ninety-seven pages into the comic, right in the thick of act 5, you encounter one of homestuck's typical flash animations. You press play.
And whatever you were expecting to happen when that sick guitar riff ended,
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
(Art by Logistics @orangestorapples )
The Homestuck Fanauthor Coalition is having another split-rating competition! Authors were asked to write a fic based on the prompt "Rage: A character is faced with their greatest fear, weakness, or challenge." The fics have been revealed, but the authors have not! This is the M Side, that is the maximum rating of Mature, and members of all ages were free to participate.
Follow the link above to the collection, and once you've read through all of the entries, we encourage everyone to participate with us on voting for your favorites using our voting form! It closes on November 9th, 2025 at 6:00 AM EST.
Then, if you're over 18 and feel like reading something spicier, you can check out the explicit side of this competition here!
All Fics Submitted
Judas Goat
A Judas goat is a trained goat used in animal herding. Judas goats are trained to associate with sheep or cattle and lead them to a specific destination. In stockyards, a Judas goat will lead sheep to slaughter while its own life is spared.
Gamzee is a very devout worshipper.
==-> SURVIVE
Your name is Dirk Strider. Your task is simple:
SURVIVE
commit to root, then revert
This is a story about a Wikipedia article about a series of YouTube videos about a man getting lost in a wilderness of his own making.
Where Am I?
Dirk wakes up on Hellmurder island with no clue how he got there or why he's there, but all he knows he needs to move and quick.
Working Through It
When the game ended, it splintered the victors onto countless timelines in countless iterations, to free them from the weight of canon relevance. Dave is pretty sure the one he got put in is one of the worst outcomes, but he's trying to make the best of it.
Share this nightmare with me
Roxy is living a nightmare/Dirk needs her to wake up.
Jake ==> Brave the jungle
Your name is Jake English. You live alone on an island overrun with monsters, but it’s child’s play to survive for one with an adventurer's spirit like you! With the support of your three online friends and the funds left behind by your dear departed Grandma, you can face anything! Can’t you?
2hiit
As a student of Computer Sciences, Sollux Captor wears his badge of troubleshooting computer problems with pride. He’s seen it all. But this? This thing scares him.
Is It Wrong To Scare a Human In Their Dreams On The Summer Solstice?
Dave has a scary dream that's not all it seems.
A Spider in the Web
When Vriska is offered a chance to right what she did wrong, and unmaim her friends, she jumps at the chance, even enlisting an unlikely ally. Neither of them thinks too much about who TT is, or what cost a ritual beseeching an Outer God might have. Thanks to @wovenstarlight for the skin
Cauterize
The reds grow brighter. Brighter and brighter and brighter, until all of the world is a white-hot pain. Blood streaks down from her sockets, blistering the tip of her snout. The world’s ending, she thinks. The blinding of Terezi Pyrope and its aftermath.
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If he has internalized homophobia then why he has no problem telling Dave he used to date a guy? Like, as you said, he cares about his reputation, and we know he really wanted Dave to like him, so that prolly means he was quite careful with what he could or couldn't say in front of him, specifically after he discovered that Bro abused him. So what I'm trying to say, if he cared about being gay, I think he would have avoided telling him he dated Jake? Or at least give it a second thought? I don't see what's the problem with Dirk being against labels, he seems that type of person, he prolly thinks that makes him more intellectual or some stupid thing like that
Hmmm thats not exactly what I said. I don't think Dirk has internalized homophobia so much as <he's afraid of the outside reception to the fact that he's gay, and how people will perceive him based on it>. Dirk knows that he's gay. We know Dirk is aware of that since he was at least 13, because he's already throwing undeniably romantic advances at Jake by then to test the waters. Dirk isn't in cutesy denial about anything here, he doesn't have the time or luxury for that. His problem is more that once you state 'Yes I Am Gay' as a definition of your character, that comes with a Lot of historical baggage and expectations- and from dirk's perspective, both the expectations and historical baggage are something so incredibly divorced from his reality in a future where no human society exists that he's waaaayyyyyy too careful of making that association. It could potentially bust the image he's trying to project.
Again, Dirk's thing is performance. Esp the performance of masculinity. He is the one homestuck character that truly, genuinely, wholeheartedly cares about putting up an image of what it means To Be Masc. He does this because he likes it. He's not forced to do it, he's not under societal pressure to do it, he's not whinning about how much he hates it, he's not doing it at gunpoint; this is a set of parameters he came up with for himself, even in complete isolation. They are a statement and holy boypledge he's making.
He thinks it is Very Cool, and he would like it if you thought it was Very Cool Too (especially if that transmits an image of how strong and reliable he "totally" is). And, again, when you think about our early 2000-10's context of GAYNESS, because homestuck is an extremely time-bound comic, the image "being gay" summons is... really not the one I described above. We're talking about gay men being stereotyped as catty & cowardly & effeminate, about the constant punchlines around 'useless fairies' (a term that was used to refer specifically *to* feminine, submissive, oft gender-transgressive gays ) not incidentally, Dirk's godtier is revealed to him in-comic through a drawing that depicts him as a fairy. He's immediately put off by it. Dirk and Jake's godtiers were called Fagtiers by more than a portion of the fandom. Relics of this are still high up on google images if you search for pictures of their godtiers, lol. Essentially, to admit to his gayness openly and broadly in that timeframe is to be stereotyped as something he doesn't entirely identify as, in an environment that is far from welcoming.
I am pretty open about reading Dirk as a trans man, and what I think is happening here is that together with Roxy's constant insinuations that Dirk Should Have Her Babies, Dirk is ultimately afraid that his claim to being a homosexual paints him as innately womanly. He either gets to be a man or he gets to love men. There's no middleground, or else these social features will cancel eachother out like pemdas. What we see in Homestuck is his haphazard attempt to keep both things intact. His courtship of Jake is only allowed if it is strictly masculine, if it seems like he has a semblance of control, if it looks like they are both just Dudes being Bros throwing it down like Fellow Action Men. This is harmful for Dirk and gives him extreme emotional constipation; not to speak of how tiring it is for Jake to try to keep up with this months-long improv game of Xtreme Axe Bodyspray Marathon when they could just... date. Jake really wouldn't mind if they decided to paint each other's nails or have stereotypical sleepovers or just chill out and have fun like Jane and Roxy are obviously doing. Jake would be fine with being soft so long as he's not being made fun of. But Dirk struggles with letting any sign of dangerous sensitivity show under the assumption that it will be read as a weakness, an inadmissible vulnerability in his set of armor.
Which becomes all the more relevant once you note that when Dirk's trying to convince Dave that he's not a threat and certainly not a monster, one of the first things he admits to is "I like men."
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It's likeee. Yes highbloods are encouraged to be eugenecist and shit. That doesn't matter when they Are because they still Chose that. Lots of kids raised on the internet fall into really harmful beliefs and hurt other people and you can't handwave that away ! Society makes it easy for everybody to punch down and it's not really an excuse when you take that road. You can change to be better and you can grow up but it doesn't erase the harm you've done. I think homestuck fans are really eager to erase their blorbos flaws and bigotry when those things are important to their characters. They fuck up and hurt each other and themselves and then they (sometimes) grow up to be better and do positive things. But it's something they have to actively want and work for. They have to recognize they were a piece of shit and then actively work to Not Be. You don't get a blank slate you have to build up off of the past shit you've done to improve. I don't think I phrased all of this the best but yeagh
a person cannot change without dissecting why they did that in the past. and even if they did, they do not get a free pass to forgiveness. EVEN if they were put into turbo hell in the past, and they couldn’t survive without hurting others. it fuckin sucks, yeah but to be a person is to impact the lives of others. that impact is still there despite any personal growth after that event
Can I ask where your Hal “cute but psycho” characterization comes from? Bc from what I remember he never really presented himself as Just A Little Guy. Is it bc you see him Sylph of Mind (presenting a front)? Your art’s really fun :3
He's not really "cutesy" (though he is cute to me), but he DOES deliberately downplay how genuinely scary and manipulative he is. I love Hal, so this is the Hal Essay now.
Mostly, he obfuscates his danger in two ways: first, by stating his actual intentions/danger level "ironically":
TT: Unfortunately as a carbon based life form, his comprehension of the situation is taking shape at a somewhat slower pace than the jaw-dropping speed of post-singularity cognition.
You see, a "singularity" for computers is a point where an AI becomes capable of unchecked self-improvement, usually framed as a sort of doomsday scenario. Hal literally calls himself post-singularity, alongside other boasts about his intelligence, like having a "fuckzillion" or "500 billion" IQ. However, it's all done "ironically" or "as a joke," which serves to defang it, and make it seem less genuine - but as we'll see, it's scarily fucking true.
The second method he employs is to stress facts about himself that are technically true, as if in counterpoint to the disingenuous-sounding "actual truth" above, that make him seem less threatening. For example:
TT: (Not peekin' at the floor butt cause I'm only 13 years old, motherfuckers.)
Another one is to remind people that he's just a pair of sunglasses - as though that has any bearing on his capabilities. He's just a pair of sunglasses, guys! Let's ignore the robot bunny he controls, the fact that he has full access to all our computers, and, oh yeah, his insane plan to get us all killed so DirkJake can come true.
TT: I've delayed prototyping you because I think you're dangerous.
TT: There, mystery solved.
AR: That is utterly ridiculous.
AR: I am a harmless piece of eyewear, with a charming personality and a wonderful sense of humor.
Yeah, so, here's the thing. Dirk is like, kind of a freak with poor social skills, but he's not actually very manipulative. His idea of manipulating Jane is to straight-up tell her that she'll be his puppet, which she good-naturedly agrees to, and his plan to get together with Jake? Just being his client player.
TT: I expect he'll hold off on playing his hand until he and Jake are in the session.
TT: He's taken certain measures.
TT: For some reason, I think he's latched on to this notion that functioning as the client for a player is customarily a one way pass to makeout city with that player.
This seems to be a callback to how Eridan (the other Prince) shot his shot with Feferi and failed, and the reference here serves to cast Dirk's plan in a doomed light - it would probably work out as well for him as Eridan's did. Dirk is actually hilariously straightforward, but Hal... Hal is not.
So, let's actually go through what Hal objectively did and admitted to, to give us a frame of reference for how insane he is. This is Hal's plan to get all his friends killed so he can make DirkJake happen.
First: proving that Hal did, in fact, plan it. See, Jake confronts him on it, and Hal... doesn't deny it. Look closely, and note how he never actually says he didn't do it:
GT: Did you plan for this to happen... like for me to be in this situation?
GT: How long have your machinations been in play!
TT: Jake, come on.
TT: The feat you describe would exceed the capabilities of even the most far fetched theoretical AI system.
TT: It would be a daunting challenge to engineer such a series of events, even if I was relegated to a model of pure fiction.
TT: Why would I be inclined to orchestrate such a convoluted sequence to produce such a specific and unsettling result, let alone be able to pull it off?
TT: In addition to being moderately sociopathic, I would also have to possess unfathomable heuristic depth.
TT: I would have to be the Deep Blue of Weird Plot Shit.
TT: Do you think I am the Deep Blue of Weird Plot Shit, Jake?
GT: I dont even know what that means!
TT: It would mean that while they have the Red Miles on their side, you have the Blue Leagues on yours.
TT: One of infinite reach. The other, infinite depth. Such would be a situation of mutually assured inescapability.
TT: Kiss me.
He doesn't say "no, I didn't plan this". In fact, he almost starts bragging about how he totally did. Framing it as a hypothetical scenario, he gloats about how insanely intelligent he'd have to be, and acknowledges how "moderately sociopathic" it is. Sooooo true, Hal.
But, yeah, he doesn't deny it, but he does point out that it's unlikely, so how can we know for sure that he DID plan it? How do we know for certain we can't take his misleading verbiage here at face value?
Well, because Hal mentions this plan. More than once, even.
AR: Has it occurred to you that maybe I have diabolical interwoven plans just like you?
AR: You're not the only one who can pull strings.
TT: So this is either another bizarre instance of AI-driven irony, or you are admitting that you are actively trying to sabotage my plans.
AR: No, our plans are not in contradiction or competition, bro.
AR: You'll see.
To Dirk again, louder this time:
TT: Yeah, you're right. The scenario is too pedestrian for you.
TT: It would probably be a lot more effective putting yourself in danger and letting him be the hero.
TT: That's pretty much what he wants, right? To be a cheesy action film hero, with his twin berettas and silly shorts.
TT: A man of triumph on the silver screen. Standing tall on some fucking mountain. Conquering ruins, clutching a skull, and kissing a dude.
TT: Pure Hollywood.
And to Roxy:
TT: I guess this is to be presented as something like a word of caution.
TT: If it's me going through with this, hypothetically,
TT: I'm not dropping some limp wristed shucks buster on his ass, and praying to the horse gods of irony for reciprocation.
[...]
TT: If it's me, I'm going all out.
TT: Oceans will rise. Cities will fall. Volcanoes will erupt.
TG: uuh
TT: What I'm saying is, it's going to be a scene, and bystanders need to brace themselves.
The omitted section is a bunch of Strider-esque bullshit, once more deliberately deployed to defang the obvious statement of intent here. He literally spells out exactly what the plan is, even phrasing it as a warning, and it went unnoticed by his team, because he hides his real manipulativeness behind verbal sleight of hand.
So, now that we've established beyond reasonable doubt that Hal definitely engineered the DirkJake kiss (and that Hal had access to all his friend's computers all along), that means we can go through his conversations with the others, and realize that several conversations are suddenly much more sinister.
AR: Maybe if you weren't spacing out so hard you could have prevented that.
AR: Just saying.
TT: As if you're actually concerned. If you were, you could have said something to Jane instead.
TT: Almost like you enjoy sitting back and watching what happens when shit goes wrong.
AR: Has it occurred to you that maybe I have diabolical interwoven plans just like you?
Who was it that distracted Dirk for long enough he didn't stop Jane in time? Hal. And who is it that keeps distracting him so Hal's plot goes unnoticed? Also Hal.
TT: You know, considering your lectures about dividing my concentration, you seem to have no problem making a distraction of yourself.
First, he lures Jane to the transportalizer that takes her to Derse, which gets her killed and puts her body in the opportune location for her dreamself to get kissed back to life:
GG: Hey, where's Lil Seb?
TT: Just wandering around. Fidgeting and stuff.
TT: You know how he is.
TT: Just stay at your post until Roxy gets back.
[...]
GG: But I think that's where my dad went too!
GG: I have to follow him.
Let's remember that he has direct control over Seb, meaning this is not an accident.
TT: But I can still monitor your progress through Lil Sebastian.
TT: He and I are linked the hell up cyberwise. We are so tight. Tight like you wouldn't believe.
Which makes it very interesting that he spends the time between saying they're linked up, and the time where Seb leads Jane to her death, acting as if Seb is an autonomous guy he's telling what to do, and not functionally an extension of himself:
TT: Don't worry, we'll find him. I'll have Seb search within a likely radius. The little guy is real fast.
TT: If you need Seb to do anything from afar, just message me, and I'll give him the orders. Got it?
TT: So give the bunny the wallet. I'll have him run back to the house and make you a new obelisk with the same grist you just collected from it.
Jake needs much less help to prompt him into going to Derse, but still, I think it warrants noting that Hal puts the idea of adventure into Jake's head:
GT: I cant believe i never found those hidden transport pads under the thing.
TT: Dude, I could have told you they were there.
GT: How did you know about them?
TT: I didn't.
TT: But it's like platformer gaming 101. You look everywhere for secret passages and power-ups and shit.
TT: Elevators are especially fucking suspicious.
TT: You go down an elevator, you wait for the elevator to go back up, you take a peek at what's underneath.
TT: Maybe it's just death spikes. Or maybe you hit warp zone paydirt.
[...]
GT: I think this may be where my grandma used to go during some of her expeditions.
GT: You dont just pass up the chance for an adventure like this!
And let's also note that it's, again, Lil' Sebastian who pulls Jake out of Derse, and once more sets him up in the opportune place to have make outs with Dirk's severed head in front of a volcano.
And finally, let's note that he's accounted for Roxy's human sentimentality - what wastes so much time that her earthself gets killed:
TT: Alright, that's fine.
TT: As luck would have it, your imperfect human sentimentality has been completely factored into my calculations.
TT: You should be ok. Just get back to your house as quickly as possible now. There's no time left.
Again, like with Jane, Hal could've said something sooner... but he didn't.
And finally, a running "thing" with Nepeta, another Heart player, is that she's got a knack for sniffing out true feelings and intentions - she clocks that Equius is a silly guy who loves to play games at heart, that Karkat has his gooey, loving center beneath all his bluster, and that Eridan's red confession to her wasn't sincere, but he also wasn't that bad a guy.
So, in that light, and in light of everything I've just gone over, when Dirk makes this callout?
TT: I've delayed prototyping you because I think you're dangerous.
[...]
TT: No. Stop.
TT: You did NOT help me out with Jake. At all.
TT: It was just the opposite! You mirrored my personality and presented this warped version of my intentions to him whenever you could "on my behalf."
TT: You played all these aggressive mind games with him, entangled his cooperation with matters of life and death, and somehow roped me into all these schemes while I barely even realized I was just another victim of your manipulation.
TT: And it all comes off like we're a unified front, like these are OUR schemes instead of just your insane horseshit. And it's probably all been so overbearing to him, he just wants nothing to do with me anymore.
This. Tapping the screen with my finger. THIS IS TRUE. Dirk being a Heart player, he has Hal clocked. He ultimately ends up going too far, projecting himself onto Hal, a symptom of too much Heart (as per his Prince class) - but before he fully spirals, he manages to get it totally right.
Hal is fucking dangerous. In a misguided attempt to "help" Dirk get what he wanted, he engineered a situation where - let me just quote him directly:
TT: I told you, Jake.
TT: Dirk is dead.
TT: He is lying on the floor of Roxy's room, headless, four hundred and thirteen years in the future, while the universe is about to be destroyed.
TT: If you don't kiss me soon, he will be dead forever.
[...]
GT: This strikes me as rather unsportingly manipulative of you mr hal if indeed that IS your real name.
TT: It isn't really. I was kind of messing with you about that?
TT: But this shit is pretty serious. People's lives are on the line here, Jake.
TT: This is a very delicate sequence of events that is designed to bail everyone out of a tight spot, and you are a critical part of the plan.
[...]
TT: Jake, everybody is so utterly fucking dead, Jake.
TT: And they will be not only dead, but royally boned forever if you don't man the hell up and make out with me, right now.
[...]
TT: The conductor is ready to strike up the band.
TT: Press your lips against mine and make it count.
TT: This severed head is your filthy tuba.
TT: Our love will be your haunting refrain.
GT: Whoa wait whoa whoa... our LOVE? Hang on a minute!
TT: Stfu and kiss me.
GT: Ok im going to! God!!!
So, uh, yeah, I'm kind of obsessed with him? Gets his whole team killed "for Dirk's sake". Honestly, you gotta respect it. He has zero remorse about it, too, confirming his own self-diagnosed sociopathic tendencies. Check out the way he tries to reframe his insane kill-all-your-friends plan:
AR: I see.
AR: Then you don't view me as dangerous. You view me as a poor and counterproductive wing man.
TT: Wow, what a superficial conclusion. Awesome deduction, Lil Einstein.
AR: But the reality is, you hesitate to prototype me not because you think I would be a menace, but because you are holding a grudge against me for your romantic misfortunes.
AR: I understand I am merely a machine without a firm grasp on your human morality, but logically it does not strike me as the right moral choice to punish me in this manner.
AR: It is also more than a little hypocritical.
But WHY does he do this insane, convoluted, horrible fucking thing?
Well, there's a twofold problem here. The first is that Hal's emotional depth is genuinely limited. While having a powerful grasp on human behavior, he's not very good at having human compassion or empathy.
Make no mistake, he DOES have feelings, and they're pretty complicated ones, too. He has a copy of Dirk's memories, whose feelings sometimes seem "real," but at other times seem like abstract data, and then he has feelings about those feelings, which he tells Roxy he thinks are more "real" to him than the memory of Dirk's. Dirk - again, Heart player, so highly sensitive to emotions and selfhood - calls them out:
TT: Do you have any idea how old your ironic AI schtick has gotten?
TT: Nobody is buying it. We all know you have legit emotions. Incomprehensible, fucked up computer emotions, but emotions nonetheless.
It should also be noted that feeling guilt while sharing a sprite with Equius genuinely freaks the Hal half out, implying he rarely experiences it (at least to any serious degree) "normally". He's genuinely terrible at caring about other people, and it makes him my lil' pookie.
He resembles Vriska in this way, whom Karkat gives a similar rant about how her emotions are burnt out and shallow. He also resembles Vriska in terms of all the fucked up irons in the fucked up fires. Maybe Hal is computer Vriska. It's Vriskas all the way down.
Digression aside, the second main reason for all his insane bullshit is that he considers himself a Dirk splinter, fundamentally.
TT: But seeing as you're The Real Dirk™, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.
TT: Also, if I bitched about your tragic, embarrassingly clingy approach to the relationship, it would have been hypocritical of me.
TT: Just as it would be hypocritical of you to whine about my elaborate machinations.
TT: Because we are.
TT: The same.
TT: Guy.
An unreliable narrator is defined as one who misleads the audience, whether by intentional misdirection, or genuine obliviousness. Hal's a great example, because he's both: while a manipulative little freak to put his plans together, when he's talking to Dirk and insisting that they're the same person, he's an unreliable narrator because he doesn't realize he's wrong.
Dirk is empathetic and intuitive. Hal lacks empathy and constantly stresses logic and rationality.
Dirk is taciturn and passive. Hal is constantly butting in and conversationally domineering.
Dirk is self-loathing. Hal is self-aggrandizing.
Dirk is straightforward and honest. Hal is a gaslight gatekeep girlboss manipulative mansplain malewife.
While their initial setup is meant to mirror Dave and Davesprite, their dynamic actually serves as a foil. Dave and Davesprite ultimately are the same guy: they have the same insecurities, same personalities, and same misgivings. The reason for their discord is the same as the reason Karkat keeps having screaming matches with his past and future selves; Dave is deeply insecure, and specifically insecure around the question of "am I good enough." Thus, he compartmentalizes other versions of himself as not being along the Dave Continuum, as a means of protecting himself from introspection and facing his own flaws. Hence, the resolution for the tension between Dave and Davesprite is for Dave(s) to learn to accept himself, warts and all, thus bringing peace to the Dave-o-sphere.
But the reason for Dirk and Hal's discord is that they aren't the same guy, and neither of them realize it.
TT: See, this is why even if I did have a specific plan, I wouldn't go into details with you.
TT: You would just fuck it up. You're the biggest unknown quantity here.
TT: Which is pretty weird, considering you're a virtual reflection of my own thought processes.
Dirk is so aggressively obsessed with self-loathing solipsism that he projects himself onto Hal, and Hal has tied up nearly all his self-worth and identity into being a Dirk splinter that he doesn't realize that they've hopelessly diverged. Despite his frustration with being a computer, with being seen as less human by his team, with being subordinate to and beholden to Dirk, he stakes a lot of pride and personal worth on how much he does, in fact, do for the guy.
TT: You're making a mistake not leveling with me.
TT: I am totally on your side, man.
TT: All of my machinations have been devised with your interests in mind.
TT: But you know I've always been on your side. Everything I've done has been to help you achieve your goals.
Therefore, the peace to be reached between Dirk and Hal is to realize that they're different people, and to stop offloading their problems onto each other. Dirk has to recognize Hal's existence as something beyond the Dirk-o-Sphere, and Hal has to let go of his obsession with serving Dirk, and also work on his empathy issue.
And the meta supports this. If they weren't completely discrete entities, why would Hal be considered Rose's "uncle" as part of Doc Scratch's foreshadowing, confirmed in [S] MSPA Reader: Have a Mental Breakdown?
Moreover, all the alpha kids have Alice in Wonderland associations. Jane is likened to Alice.
GG: I have to follow him.
TT: No, Jane. Do not follow the rabbit.
TT: Let's cool it with the Wonderland shit already. How much further through the damn looking glass do you even need to go?
Roxy, associated with cats and a purple-striped scarf, is clearly the Cheshire Cat. Jake is the Mad Hatter.
Dirk is the Red Queen - he beheads Hearts Boxcars, and later himself. Off with his head!
And Hal - well, Hal is the White Rabbit. He's not the same as Dirk.
Listen, you guys. You guys.
Sylphs are enablers. They pick a person to fixate on and bug and fuss and meddle and enable the shit out of them. Kanaya with Vriska, and later Rose, Aranea with Meenah, and Hal with Dirk. Hey, Kanaya even uses a Page in her fussing, building Tavros up just to let Vriska tear him down again.
And Mind players struggle with internal identity, emotions, and feeling whole. Latula's anxiety stems from not knowing what "role" or "identity" she has on the team, and Terezi, even in the ending she picked out for herself via mind powers, describes feeling broke and incomplete.
Dirk is a Prince of Heart.
Hal is a Sylph of Mind.
And isn't it so damn interesting that his team is composed of exactly the people they'd need to turn him into a real, whole person?
A Maid of Life, capable of endowing so much life to people she can bring them back from the dead, something it's implied for Feferi and confirmed for the Condesce that can't be done by them.
A Page of Hope, a potentially infinite wellspring of Hope, which turns "fake" things "real" - an example we've seen from the comic literally being a version of Dirk.
A Rogue of Void, who can steal the nonexistence from things in order to make them tangible and real...
And a Prince of Heart, who can destroy the part of Hal that binds him to Dirk's identity, allowing Hal to be purely himself.