garbage

WHERE’S HIS MOTHER BURIED

“a bit larger than we expected”

they gave birth to Hagrid bye.

This needs answers

This lady spat out a fucking tot

WHERE’S HIS MOTHER BURIED

“a bit larger than we expected”

they gave birth to Hagrid bye.

This needs answers

#We did it honey#the evil is defeated (via @beasthenshin)

this is the most white heterosexual nonsense ive ever seen

*Jild

I don’t understand why you are all so offended by this. They found out the genre of their baby by doing something they like to do. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ISSUE HERE? WHY IS EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE SO HYPERSENSITIVE ABOUT EVERYONE ELSES LIVES. BACK TF OUT OF PEOPLES BUSINESS FOR FUCKS SAKE.

The genre of their baby

Easy Listening Baby

Smooth Jazz Baby

post-progressive dreamfunk baby

Honey do you see the dreamy blue hues rippling in the residue of the vaporized car? We’re having a vaporwave baby

ハヤテグッドボーイI N F A N T

>tfw no vaporwave baby

This post is a journey

i had to read through this post that already started off stressfully and now you do too

send me the nudes while this geek eats a flower

it’s still weird to me sometimes that i run a kinda popular humor internet blog and i have a child. like i’m a mom. i’m a mom blogger. i should be posting pintrest hacks and how to make ants on a log

You have a WHAT

Me yesterday

Omg so I’m at the cafe by campus and this guy came in and went to hug this chick but she went in for a fist bump

OK OMG SHE SAT HIM DOWN AND SAID “I think we should break up”

I’m legit 3 feet away from them pretending to be invested in my science book

She said “it’s not you it’s me” and before he could respond the barista called his name. It’s Bob. Poor Bob

It was a few minutes of awkward silence as he took a sip of his drink. It’s the same kind as mine. Meaning he ordered Hot Chocolate

He started out with “You know, I think.” And I could hear this lady’s eyes roll. No one cares what you think Robert

FINGERS ARE FLYING. SHE POINTING AT HIM. SHIT IS GETTING REAL.

she calmed down and he legit did that thing where you steppe you fingers together in front of your mouth and take a huge breath. Bro. Leave it. It’s done. She’s too pretty for you.

He freaking snapped his fingers like he’s got this grand plan to make up for things.

She Said she still wants to be friends. She starts this by asking about his day

Apparently something bob said made her laugh.

She has not been able to say a word since she got him talking. It’s too loud in the cafe for me to make out anything even tho I’m legit behind this chick

He talking about his struggles now and how much he needs her. Run lady. Run. Run far away.

She tried to get up and his hAND SHOT OUT TO GRAB HERS

“well some people are bitchy” -bob

Lady does not have a drink. I don’t think she planned on being here this long.

Bob is again talking about himself 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 no one cares bob.

Well he said something that made her laugh again. It sounded fake tho.

He’s talking about school. APPARENTLY HE IS A PROFESSOR

“Promiscuousness leads to disease” -Bob again.

I’m done with my hot chocolate and I don’t know if the bitter taste in my mouth is from the chocolate residue I drank or my disdain for Professor Bob.

She adjusted her chair so she’s further away

SHE GOT UP! She went to take her purse but bob said to leave and he would watch it. I think she’s headed to the bathroom.

I can’t leave! But he’s doing that voice to text thing for his phone. Talking to someone about this? Idk?

I’m trying to figure out what he’s saying by looking at his lips but I suck as this. Also where are his lips?? Bob is lipless. Further proof that lizard people exist.

He’s talking about his students again.

She was talking and he interrupted her and she was like “I was talking” and he like flinched and he apologized. Yes queen.

“but this is why this democracy is at its purest.” Wtf Bob that doesn’t make sense

They’re talking so quietly now I can’t hear them.

“I should have said this a long time ago. But I can’t get anyone to love me” -Bob what the fuck.

“I feel like I’m projecting my self onto you” -bob once again

She’s leaving! She said something about picking up her son, Kevin, from school. Good job lady!

HOLY SHIT HES REACHING INTO HIS PANTS WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF

OMG OMG OMG ITS A MENS RING!! HE PUT IT ON HIS HAND HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. HES PICKING UP HIS PHONE

Fuck you bobert

this was a JOURNEY from start to finish

Im gonna need a physical description, the cafe name, and your city. Im coming for you robert