Just A Slut

Your old scrubs just fit so much less comfortably. You must have bought a bad brand because it feels like every time you wash them the stretchy waistband feels tighter. It’s gotten to the point that when you have nothing else to wear and you have to pull them out you dread the way they squeeze your waist. You try to combat the discomfort by pulling them down further, which gives you a bit more breathing room.

The tops are a bit clingy, probably also the cheap material being affected by the drier. You try to adjust, but you feel your stomach being encased from all sides no matter what. While you do your hair in the mirror, you see the indent of your bellybutton being squeezed by the material.

God, these shrunken clothes make me look a bit… pudgy.

But you know you’re not. Just the cheap material making unflattering shapes is all.

You have to tug down your top all day, with how tight it is it keeps riding up. You don’t notice that right before you tug it down again your round gut, accompanied by your bulging love handles, are on show. The pants just make it more obvious, with how much jiggling fat rests over the waistband.

Anyone could tell you’ve outgrown your skinny body, becoming the talk of the clinic with how much you’ve let go and gone to pot. You’re always drinking some unhealthy energy drink to stay awake, or eating more junk food because you’re “peckish”. The way you inflate full of sugar and calories throughout the day, every day, has made the source of your pudging up incredibly obvious.

Somehow, you know how bloated you get every day, going home with a bellyache from all the empty calories flooding your gut, yet you don’t realize it’s actually making you fat. Sure, you rub your belly every night on the drive home, pulling up your scrub top to better access the stretched skin of your tight gut. But that’s just because you overdid it with the extra monster at the end of the day. Or the full sized candy bar (after the drug reps brought in that buffet) being just too much for your stomach to manage.

You don’t notice that when you wake up the next day, bloat finally gone down, that your belly still sits just in your lap as you sit up and get out of bed. To be fair, it’s not that big of a gut yet. Just the start of a true potbelly and the softening of the rest of your body for now. You haven’t noticed the way you fill out everything a bit more than before.