welcome to the garbage pile boys

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.

The what???

???

I don't know what to tell you man.

you people aren't CASTING

sometimes i talk about how awful it was to feel trapped by my daily makeup routine and how i couldn’t leave the house without putting on a full face and it played a major role in the misery of my high school experience because i had to spend so much extra time getting ready in the mornings and that followed me into my early 20s as well and it was hell and it was so incredibly liberating to go through the slow and uncomfortable but ultimately essential process of getting my bare face back and having makeup be an optional accessory instead of a mandatory uniform. and the response always tends to be ah yes of course, because of your trans and your masculine. and it’s like aha so close! actually! I think if I ended up being a feminine cis woman I also still would not deserve even a second of that shit! I think trans women and nonbinary people and every human alive should have the option to leave the house without a single cosmetic product ever touching their face! but thanks for playing!

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

for every incel white man star wars dudebro there is a teenage lesbian with a slightly deeper and more obscure knowledge of star wars who will one day defeat him in battle

Holding a killing myself party everyone's invited

having a mutual who’s a good artist literally feels like beyonce saw me at a supermarket and decided to make me her best friend