Trying to Recover

In therapy lingo, we call this *personalization* and it’s another irrational way of thinking.

Let that stuff go! You’re carrying enough already. No need to take on things don’t belong to you.

don’t insult yourself. it seems like you’re looking to make them feel bad for you. it also makes it look like you’re playing victim. (ex: “i’m a shitty person.” “i should just die.” “i’m just stupid.”)

say, for example, “i feel like you dislike me” instead of “you dislike me.” you don’t actually know how they feel and being accusatory like that is a huge turn off.

when apologizing, make it genuine. don’t bring up how you feel and instead apologize for how you made the other person feel. how you feel can be brought up later.

remind people that you genuinely want to get better and tell them to call you out when you exhibit problematic behavior.