rose colored

I understand why that advice exists. On some levels, it's true. There is a level of control that submissives need to retain for safe play, and dominants who demand or expect submission purely for the fact that they are a dominant are bad play partners, and generally assholes. Parts of the message can be important because a lot of inexperienced (or badly-experienced) subs can end up neglecting their own agency and assuming that's just part of being a submissive.

But there's also an imbalance to it. Something that reinforces the personhood of the submissive in a dynamic while leaving that of the dominant unacknowledged. Agency for me but not for thee. Not "Nobody has to do anything in a scene that they aren't comfortable with", but "You as a submissive should be in control of the contents of a scene for your own comfort". Not "Nobody owes their sexuality, their dominance, their submission, their time and energy to anyone else they don't feel like giving it to", but "Dominants should have to earn the privelage of your submission".

There is an assumption that permeates a lot of kink spaces, that only a sub can be made uncomfortable, that only a sub can have their boundraries crossed, that only a sub has need of safeties and negotiation and being approached respectfully, because nominally the dominant is in control. We are assumed to be safe and comfortable on the basis that we're the ones who give the orders or whatever, but that's not how it works.

Dominants can and do get sexually harrassed by subs. I've been messaged *very* aggressively by some strangers in my time who fail to understand that their submission doesn't change the fact they're demanding sexual favours from a stranger. I've heard stories of dominants in abusive relationships where their consent was taken as an assumption at all times. There's a lot of kink advice out there that tells subs they have the agency to do only what they want, but fails to pair it with the necessary follow up that they also have the agency to do harm.

vore

witches

mommy/daddy

royalty/princess kink

Puppy who pants in your ear and paws at your pants

You look so cute in your boxers and my hoodie. Comfy? Good boy. Oh? You wanna grind on me? Go ahead hun, if it'll make you feel better. That's it, get all those bad thoughts out, just focus on being my good little puppy. Ugh you're soaking my thigh already. That's it, just a little faster, get nice and worked up.

You're so hard already baby~ Oh my hands are cold? Sorry pup, but I had to feel you. Stay still, I can't jerk you off if you keep moving. Good boy, relax. Ugh you're leaking all over my hand. Go get my harness.

Which dick do you want baby? The big one? With the knot? Someone's bold today. I know, I know, it's stress relief. Come on mutt, lift your hips, nice and slow, fuck you're pressing on me so good. You're so handsome, so fucking handsome bouncing on my cock. Faster baby, that's it, fuck slow down a little. Gonna make me cum too fast. This is for you baby, enjoy yourself.

Fuck pup, don't be like that, you love when I thrust into you before you cum. Look at your dick twitching. You love taking my cock. Maybe I'll fuck your ass next. Oh you thought we'd be done after one round? Noo puppy, daddy said he was gonna help you relax and that's exactly what he's gonna do. That's right, you don't need to think about anything besides cumming all over me. Fuck, good boy.