CW:158.4lbs

i. do. not. promote. eating. disorders. of. any. kind. whatsoever.

if you are trying to recover, please, get the fuck away from my blog.

the reason i have this blog is for my own motivation.

To be able to lay on my side and not have to worry about my stomach hanging down.

To look good next to people. (Esp my current boyfriend -not that he has ever said anything negative about my body, I would personally feel better if I looked good next to him) 

Baggy sweaters with skinny jeans that hug my thighs.

Slender and long fingers.

Sitting cross-legged and no fat seeps out from the sides of my legs.

Having extra room when I am sitting down. 

Being the smaller person in the hug.

Shopping for a size small.

Going to the beach and not being afraid to show my stomach and glutes and just lay in the sun relaxing.

Cheekbones.

“She has lost weight.”

Cute clothes that fit a size small.

Control is power.

Collarbones.

THIGH GAPS. 

Flat stomach.

If I ever get picked up they’ll be surprised at how light I am.

So I am not afraid of shopping mall mirrors.

Before and after pictures. 

Lounge around in workout clothes.

To be able to wear a sports bra with nothing to cover up my stomach and trackies.

Not comparing yourself to others.

To look good in short shorts.

To be able to sit on his lap and not feel like you are crushing him.

To feel your ribs and hip bones sticking out.

So that every photograph taken of you from any angle will look great. 

So that whenever you sit, wherever you sit, your stomach stays flat.

So that you don’t have to worry about your disgusting love handles oozing over the edges of your pants. 

So when you sit down your thighs don’t spread the size of the ocean.

Wearing bodycon dresses and looking good without fat bulging out.

To be able to wear tops with their backs open.

Tight and crop tops.

To not want to cry or rip out my fat whenever I see my body in a mirror.

To not have a double chin.

To be able to wear mini skirts.

Not wanting to look fat when I go out at night.

Not sucking your stomach when you wear a tight top.

Not needing to wear high waisted skirts or jeans to hide your stomach, muffin top.

People can give you piggy back rides.

Not looking puffy in coats. 

For small lace panties and the bra/bralette, you could never pull off. 

Looking good/elegant when you dance.

To not have cellulite.

Tiny wrists and ankles.

Prove yourself that you are not worthless and can achieve your goals.

Cute underwear and PJ’s.

Looking good when you are slacking off with a hoodie, tracksuit and wool socks and not like a slob.

Disappearing in his clothes.

Looking cute in a onesie.

Finally being good enough for myself. 

To not flinch or have the need to suck in your stomach when someone touches you.

Not feeling your thighs touch when you are wearing jeans or skirts.

My calves won’t look massive like football players. 

So his hand will fit between your thighs when you are sitting. 

(not my recipes)

sweet cravings: 1. ½ medium apple, baked, topped with 1 tbsp low fat yogurt sprinkled with cinnamon (45 calories). 2. ½ small banana, frozen (45 calories) 3. 4 oz. unsweetened applesauce sprinkled with cinnamon (49 calories) 4. 1 miniature box of raisins (45 calories) 5. 2 sugar-free ice pops (30 calories) 6. 1 sugar-free fudge ice pop (35 calories) 7. 12 cherries (48 calories) 8. 1 individual serving sugar-free gelatin with 3 tbsp. light whipped topping (40 calories) 9. ½ cup strawberries with 2 ½ tbsp nonfat yogurt (47 calories) 10. 14 seedless red grapes, frozen (48 calories)

Salty cravings: 11. 1 ½ cups salted air-popped popcorn (46 calories) 12. ¼ cup shelled edamame (soybeans) with sea salt (37 calories) 13. 8 oz. miso soup (36 calories) 14. 1 pretzel rod (37 calories) 15. ¼ small bag of Glenny’s lightly salted soy crisps (35 calories) 16. 1 medium sliced cucumber mixed with ¼ cup sliced onion, ½ cup chopped celery, and 4 tbsp vinegar and salt to taste (45 calories) 17. 6 oz V8 juice (39 calories) 18. 1 kosher dill pickle (10 calories)

Crunchy cravings: 19. ½ cup jicama with 4 oz salsa (49.5 calories) 20. 1 ½ cups sugar snap peas (40 calories) 21. small celery stalk smeared with ½ tbsp natural peanut butter (49 calories) 22. ½ small apple with 1 tsp soy butter (46 calories) 23. 1 brown rice cake with 1 tbsp sugar-free jam (44 calories)

smooth and creamy cravings: 24. 1 Laughing Cow Light Garlic & Herb wedge spread on cucumber slices (35 calories) 25. 1 tsp almond butter (34 calories) 26. ½ cup fat-free Greek yogurt with 1 tsp sugar-free strawberry jam (43 calories) 27. 1 oz avocado (about 1/8 of an avocado) squirted with lime (45 calories) 28. 8 grape tomatoes dipped in 1 tbsp light cream cheese (46 calories)

Cheese cravings: 29. 6 pieces of endive filled with ½ oz reduced-fat feta cheese (49 calories) 30. 1 slice fat-free American cheese (30 calories) 31. 1 large tomato, sliced, topped with 1 tbsp Parmesan, broiled (44 calories) 32. 1 oz fat-free cottage cheese on1 slice caraway Finn Crisp Crispbread (38 calories) 33. 1 oz fat-free mozzarella dipped in 1 tsp marinara sauce (46 calories)

Meat cravings: 34. turkey rolls: 2 slices white meat turkey rolled in 2 lettuce leaves (46 calories) 35. 1 oz smoked salmon (about 1 slice) on 2 Wheat Thins crackers (48 calories) 36. 1 tofu dog with 1 tbsp sauerkraut (48 calories) 37. ½ cup plain fat-free yogurt sprinkled with 1 tsp sunflower seeds (49.6 calories) 38. 1.3 oz water-packed tuna with 1 tsp Dijon mustard (48 calories) 39. 2 large hard-cooked egg whites with 1 cup sliced cucumber (48 calories) 40. 1 slice Wasa Fibre Crispbread with 2 tsp hummus (45 calories) 41. 1 medium water-packed sardine with slice of red onion (35 calories)

Fruit & veg: 42. ½ cup melon with 2 tbsp 1% cottage cheese (47 calories) 43. ½ small grapefruit (32 calories) 44. 1/3 cup blueberries with 1 tbsp light sour cream (47 calories) 45. ½ cup carrots with 1 tbsp light ranch dressing (45 calories)

so i don't have to plan outfits ahead of time

so baths/showers aren't hideous

so L and IS take it seriously

so H notices (im ashamed of this one)

so im the smallest of my friends

so i don't disappear standing next to K

so i can wear dresses

so i can buy trousers at actual shops

so i can actually put myself out there and meet people

to feel light and feminine, to feel like a girl

to get rid of this fucking neck and get a jawline

to get my dancer arms back

for backless dresses

for shopping with friends

for new clothes next summer

for tights

for crop tops

for jeans

they used to not be a big deal for me like i wouldn’t even really get them but these past few weeks have been crazy weird and every time i smoke i have to LEAVE my house in order to keep control.

1. You hear it everywhere but increase water intake (4 to 5 lit a day) 

careful don’t eat a bunch of stuff and then expect the water to clean it off, it does not work that way.

2. Hot water with lemon 

can be taken before/with/after meals but in an empty stomach works best

3. Green tea its savior, not with sugar or honey

4. Avoid: junk food, flours, rice, salt, lactose and sweets. Fact: the less you eat candy the less you crave them.

5. Reduce your portions, if you can get a dessert plate, those are smaller and are usually of the correct measure. 

Careful: don’t fill the plate till it touches the ceiling.

6. Stop drinking anything that is not water or green tea.

7. With a watch or with your cellphone timer control the time of you meals Snacks: 30 min

Meals: 45 to 60 min Drinks: at least 15 min if they are not water Between bites drop you utensil, wipe your face with a napkin, engage in conversation with your family/friends.

8. Three hours must pass between your last meal and you bed time.

9. Don’t reward yourself with food, your not a pet.

10. This is kinda sick but eat in front of a mirror naked.

11. Feeling a binge? Brush your teeth, look at thinspo, get out of the house.

12. Instead of saying NO to foods, think that you don’t care and you don’t want the food. Do something that makes you stop thinking about food.

1. You hear it everywhere but increase water intake (4 to 5 lit a day) 

careful don’t eat a bunch of stuff and then expect the water to clean it off, it does not work that way.

2. Hot water with lemon 

can be taken before/with/after meals but in an empty stomach works best

3. Green tea its savior, not with sugar or honey

4. Avoid: junk food, flours, rice, salt, lactose and sweets. Fact: the less you eat candy the less you crave them.

5. Reduce your portions, if you can get a dessert plate, those are smaller and are usually of the correct measure. 

Careful: don’t fill the plate till it touches the ceiling.

6. Stop drinking anything that is not water or green tea.

7. With a watch or with your cellphone timer control the time of you meals Snacks: 30 min

Meals: 45 to 60 min Drinks: at least 15 min if they are not water Between bites drop you utensil, wipe your face with a napkin, engage in conversation with your family/friends.

8. Three hours must pass between your last meal and you bed time.

9. Don’t reward yourself with food, your not a pet.

10. This is kinda sick but eat in front of a mirror naked.

11. Feeling a binge? Brush your teeth, look at thinspo, get out of the house.

12. Instead of saying NO to foods, think that you don’t care and you don’t want the food. Do something that makes you stop thinking about food.