2017 better be nice to my mom

2018 better be nice to my mom

2019 better be nice to my mom

must have been easier to be alive before news traveled so fast and you were only ever aware of a handful of tragedies instead of thousands and thousands of them being delivered to you on a daily basis. why is there even a question of why our generation is so depressed and anxious like I’ll tell you why?? everything i read breaks my heart and my capacity to empathize and be outraged is absolutely maxed out. yeah i’m sad bitch! we’re all sad! there’s no relief!

a concept: future jake and amy having a kid BUT amy goes into labour on halloween and jake has to figure out if amy is cheating him out of the heist or if he’s actually about to have a kid

bold of you to assume she didnt plan to get pregnant exactly 9 months before halloween so that its actually both

bold of you to assume it wasnt jake who planned to get her pregnant exactly 9 months before so she’d be thrown off by contractions

bold of all of us to assume Holt didn’t pick an exact date to compliment them both so they’d have validation horniness so that jake AND amy were in disadvantage during the heist

this has the same chaotic energy as “then perish”

The way John Mulaney speaks is the vocalized version of When You Capitalise Every Word Like This

he fucking killed her