Yeah

Over two years laters and things has drastically changed but for the worst and without going into too much details the Lee's the monster had passed his baton of abuse towards me onto his other three daughters and they had doubled down on the abuse and shown their true colors to me 2022 was the worst year of my life. Now they all have robbed me of being able to be independent and living my life, and for the past few times we was on the same room they have the nerve to keep asking me when I was going to get my driver license. What the is use of having a driver license when I have no places to go or be at and quite frankly I pretty sure I'm not fit to be driving maybe just very short distances k

I'm still here but it is shit. I still live in the same cream colored prison that I'm suppose to call a room In a mobile home trailer that is dirty, rotting, falling apart, broken and all of it being deliberate and no family members giving a shit. thus not having basic amenities like hot water, clean toilet, clean bathtub, stove, constant electriy, central heating (once I leave my room it winter in the trailer like outside), washing machine, a front door on all fastened hinges, and today I learned that the main water line broke so I say bye bye to running water all these things I listed is what the trailer used to have working and I'm still in the same position I was put in by the Lee's I have no means of earning an income. My health is bad. The Lees that I suppose to call family have been showing their true colors to me after the death of the main monster in 2019. To basically sum them up are they are all narcissists trying to completely snuff out my light for good. what about about the good people in my l? they are hiding no.... seriously they are hiding I asked spirit for help and got good people that aren't meant to get me out and fail when they did try. No one else has shown themselves for fuck sake, I hate my self I hate people I hate spirit I hate angels I'm tired of waiting, I want to go home to the stars and be with Ronnie and Betty and my true father.

Lowkey hoping I don't get into a boredom slump doing the the things I have been doing and loved, slumps like this really sucks espically since now is not a good time for that or me

I remember in 2013 my birth mother blamed oldest sister in helping me "rebel" against her, no her help for me began a long painful eye opening journey about my birth family it would hard to fathom what I would be like now if she did not

rocking back and forth.....something that I have been doing for a long time since pre-k or before (now 23), kids asked me why I do it and I said I was born that way but told that I would grow out which I know I can because in primary school I also rocked side to side when standing but only did it then and stopped, I don't know why I started in the first place but knowing more about the things surrounding me I can guess why and I would not be surprised if I was right but I keep doing it now, I know it is not good for my back and like everything currently in my life it does not bring me any physical comfort....so I keep going, now I think about it is a way of keeping myself together

the past three weeks has been quite a doozy for me I'm at a point that my fatass can't decide whether to enjoy things or have an existential crisis