Emz :3

I am one of the many people who labels Dr. Captain Ryland Grace as AroAce or Aspec. As this has helped me accept that part of myself, but I like that it’s not a major part of his story. That he doesn’t get romance, that he decided that he will live without it.

A major aspect of Project Hail Mary is the Platonic relationship that blossoms between the two, and I’m not shitting on those who do ship Grace and Rocky, it’s just I hate it. I hate Grocky, I hate Grockian. It feels like we are looking past the most major part of the story, of the movie, and I feel some Grocky Shippers shove Adrian out of the way; just for shipping purposes, which isn’t the case for some, but it is the case for most, I’m not calling anyone out here, that’s not what this post is about.

It’s getting over the fact that their suns are going to die. Their worlds will end because of the Astrophage. Their friendship blossoms over the worst case scenario for both of them. They are both “people” going through basically the end of the world together.

Their crew dies, they bond over being the last ones alive to do this mission, have to overcome fear, and build each other up to where they can complete their collective mission.

Now, again, I’m not trying to shit on anyone, get off on your niche alien human porn, I don’t care. I’m not one to hate on it. Again, this isn’t what the post is about, I’m getting out my feelings.

It’s basically, in my opinion, shipping a married man and someone over half his age, in human terms ig. Again, I am not one to judge problematic undertones in ships. (What I’m mentioning is Massive Age Gaps as Rocky has been in space longer than Grace has been alive.)

I feel like a massive part of myself is being ripped from me, these goobers I love so dearly, their friendship being ripped to shreds for just the sake of shipping. A part of myself I have only recently learned how to accept, and I am navigating daily, still. Representation that I never thought I needed, and/or wanted, but adore nonetheless.

As I’m writing this out, it feels so stupid that I’m complaining about two fictional characters being shipped together, as with that over-generalized statement I would be a very large hypocrite. As I ship BloodyMary, which I do partially have some qualms with, as I see them strictly as a Queer Platonic Relationship, as I believe Simon has too much on his plate for a proper romantic connection, and.. you already know my opinion on Ryland Grace. Simon has escaped from the blood ocean, and now merged and mutated with the thing that wanted him dead, I’m sure he has other things on his plate. But my feelings on this are still entirely valid, I will not be told otherwise.

But it feels like this Fandom, and the actual story is being torn to shreds because of the shipping nonsense.

Now, in the past, I have been allonormative, forcing romance on characters that I can see now, never wanted it. Forcing unhealthy (now identified Hypersexuality) coping mechanisms on characters because I could. (Not to the level of pr0 or Darkshippers but, still unhealthy) as I thought that’s what everyone goes through, now unlearning this mentality, and these habits. Even years later after all the trauma that caused these issues. As in the past I have probably put someone in this space; forcing the character they see as representation for themselves, whatever that might be; and absolutely destroying it, because I decided it “didn’t fit” in my view. I was extremely mentally ill, and not coping well with what had happened to me; those old accounts have been long deleted / deactivated. (Other reasons that I will not delve into, as that’s too much for this post, and I refuse to dump anymore trauma into this.)

This.. got way deeper than I wanted it too, whatever.

TD;DR