15 Fics that every Wolfstar author writes sooner or later
1. Pining into oblivion. Sirius pines piteously; Remus is oblivious.Ā Remus pines piteously; Sirius is oblivious.Ā Each pines piteously, whilst simultaneously remaining oblivious to the other. This can last for chapters, even years.
2. Magical rom-com hi-jinks - joined together by magic, truth potions, chased by enchanted mistletoe, the mirror of Erised shows them felching etc.
3. Less of a fic, more an opportunity to lightly marinate Remus in werewolf angst.
4. Snogging in broom cupboards at Hogwarts. WhyĀ āhiding from Filchā hasnāt caught on as a euphemism for a quickie Iāll never know.
5. Moving in together after Hogwarts, most likely Siriusā flat in Camden. Iām joking, of course - itās ALWAYS a flat in Camden.
6. Lie Low at Lupinās fic. H/C not optional.
7. Overwrought post-Prank dramatics. Must include at least one of the following: tears, speechifying, punching, d/s themed sex scenes, tears. Yes, I know I listed tears twice. Crying is not optional either.
8. Some kinky thing or other.Ā Dog collars, spanking, bondage, public sex, tentacles, whatever. You will either write one fic like this or thousands. There is no in between.
9. Fic inspired by poetry, usually A E Housman, e e cummings, W H Auden. Possibly some other 2 initials and a surname poet, idk why itās like that but it is.
10. Songfic. In years to come your songfic may make you cringe, but learn to live with it. You can take it off the internet, but youāll never escape the memory of what youāve done.
11. James and/or Lily is over-invested to a point that would be weird irl but because this is fic itās cute and/or funny. They are required to full name both characters at least once. As this is less effective without a middle name, and JKR didnāt give Sirius one, fandom has collectively inflictedĀ āOrionā on him, because apparently he hasnāt suffered enough.
12. An extensive collection of Get Together fics, often scanning multiple eras. At least one should involve a game of Spin the Bottle or similar.
13. All the AUs. Canon divergent AUs. Bring Back Black. House Swaps. Modern AU. Weirdass AUs like Regency merman pirate strippers in space. So many worlds, so many ways to get less misery, more porn and/or fluff.
14. 5 + 1 fics. Five Times Sirius Surprised Remus and One Time Remus Surprised Him. Five Times Remus and Sirius Didnāt Have Sex and One Time They Did. Five Times Sirius Made Remus a Cup of Tea and One Time Remus Sucked His Dick. Etc.
15. The Thing You Swore Youād Never Do. This one is different for each author, but weāve all got one. Mundane AUs. Text Fic. Kink. Crossover with another fandom. Mpreg. Doesnāt matter what it is, all that matters is you were so sure you Would Never. Until you did.
Yes, of course some of these apply to other pairings/fandoms. No, you are not immune to any of them. You might say,Ā āIām a Wolfstar author and Iāve never written a fic like that!ā I say,Ā āYou havenāt written it yet.ā
