Poly Principles

all your problems solved, in a sentence

Can polyamory work?

Yes. Next question. 

My partner caught feelings for their FWB. Why did this happen?

Because they’re a human being and humans are naturally very good at having feelings for others

I hate being poly. My partner is poly. Can you solve this?

Yes. Break up with them. 

I’m poly. My partner isn’t. Can you solve this?

Yes. Break up with them. 

I’ve been incredibly upset and unable to function for a long time. Can you tell me how to be good at being poly so this goes away?

Your problem isn’t polyamory and is above my pay grade. Please see a medical professional. 

I’m a Unicorn Hunter why does everyone hate me?

If you were single, would you want to be the Unicorn? Right okay now you know why. 

I’m a Unicorn why does everyone hate me?

Darling they don’t. They’re worried for your safety. Except the Unicorn Hunters, some of them do seem to hate you.

My partner makes me unhappy all the time and I love them. Help?

Please break up with them. 

Can poly only work under specific circumstances (e.g. equal triad, open dyad with FWBs, quad, a chain with precisely seventeen participants)? 

No. Poly works when emotionally mature adults have relationships that make them happy. 

I only want a very specific relationship setup, of which I currently do not have. Is there something wrong with me?