kind of (more like extremely) having a life crisis right now because i have to write college essays and almost every piece of advice I've looked at says that the main thing they're looking for is who you are. but the thing is that i dont know who i am. even if i were to ask my friends to describe me or what other people think of me, there's still a huge degree of separation between us. i feel like 99.9% of the people i know don't truly know me because i am constantly masking, to the point where even I don't know who i really am. i dont have any challenges ive overcome besides the hell of high school, but you couldn't possibly get more generic than that. i dont have any hobbies that im extremely passionate about besides bugs, but even then i couldn't write anything about it, i just enjoy them. there's nothing extremely interesting or noteworthy about my personality. try to be nice? i try to get along with everybody? i dont like conflict? these are the most generic things ever. the only thing i could possibly think to write about is my experiences with gender and transitioning, because its a huge part of my identity, but i don't feel comfortable writing about that and sharing that at all. I've spent so much time just trying to get by that i honestly feel like a shell of a person. i mean, to my own expectations, i believe i am remarkable because i try to be as altruistic as possible in a world filled with unkindness. but writing about how kind you are defeats the purpose of it, doesn't it? it's not enough to convince someone really.