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F/O 1: Is this your Plan B?

S/I: Technically it's Plan C.

F/O 1: Why did we skip Plan B?

S/I: Because we have to toss F/O 2 out of a window in Plan B.

F/O 2: I like Plan B.

—

F/O 1, knocking on S/I's door: Open up, fucknugget!

F/O 2, right next to F/O 1, talking to S/I on the phone: Oh, did you just wake up?

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S/I: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal. Imagine what it's doing to your body.

F/O 1: Removing the rust, of course.

F/O 2: I've been drinking Coca Cola and my body is completely rust-free...I think F/O 1 is right.

—

S/I: What about F/O 1?

F/O 1: I hope you're okay, S/I.

F/O 2: Stop falling down the stairs.

F/O 3: How'd the ground taste?

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S/I: Time sensitive question, how do I seduce F/O 1?

F/O 2: Throw rocks at them

F/O 3: Hot dogs.

S/I: Thanks.

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F/O 1: My partner is too tall for me to kiss on the lips, what shouId do?

F/O 2: Punch them in the abdomen, and when they lean over in pain, kiss them.

F/O 3: Tackle them to the ground.

S/I: Just ask me to lean over, F/O 1.

—

F/O 1, placing down a card: Ace of spades.

F/O 2, pulling out an Uno card: +4.

F/O 3, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!

S/I, texting the groupchat: sapnu puas

F/O 1: Huh?

F/O 2: What language is that?

S/I: Read it upside down.

S/I has been kicked from the groupchat.

—

S/I: If I say I love you, will you say it back?

F/O 1: Of course, S/I.

S/I: I love you.

F/O 1: It back.

Several minutes later...

F/O 2, looking at S/I crying face-down on the floor: F/O 1, what the fuck did you do?

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S/I: Sorry I'm late! I was doing things and got distracted.

F/O 1: Don't sweat it, S/I! I am things!

F/O 2: And I'm got distracted.

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F/O 1: Why doesn't S/I find me sexy when I bite my lip?

F/O 2: Well, what do you look like when you bite your lip?

*F/O 1 bites their lip*