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â SEVENTEENâs Jeonghan because Iâm a sucker for rivalry plots in Hogwarts!au.
â Word count: 989.
âMichael! Howâs your mother doing, my dear boy? Still visiting the Minister on Sundays?â
Though the party continued, you and Chan stood motionless, watching Professor Slughornâs back. His current smile held no memory of a frown he had directed at your friend before. It was as if the exchange had never happened.
Cider tasted sour on your tongue. Golden liquid swirled in a crystal glass. It was the only point of scenery your stare could escape to. You knew what was coming. After all, you were the reason your friend had to talk to the professor. Slughorn expected people of good social standing, not the son of muggle business owners.
âI think I need to leave for a moment.â Chan looked sick. Heâs always been rather proud and never took well to rude (or passive-aggressive) remarks.
As soon as he made a step forward, you grabbed his elbow.
âIâll go with-â Chan pulled his arm free. Coldness took over an usual warm smile.
âNo, Iâd rather you not.â His firmness hurt. âYouâre the one who brought me to this farse. What, to show pity to a Muggle-born? Thank you so much for thinking so lowly of me, (y/n)! I knew I could count on a smart seventh year.â
Silence settled once he was finished. Other attendees looked between each other, clearly having heard everything. Chanâs wild gaze traveled around the room, before he cleared his throat and left in a hurry. He did his best to cover a frown, but you still noticed tears glistening in the whites of his eyes.
âWell- What were we talking about, again?â Professor Slughorn broke the uncomfortable silence. His companion looked disoriented for a moment, but quickly returned to the conversation. Others followed.
With nothing to do, no one to open your mouth to, you remained in place. Flames of overhead chandelier flickered in your cider. Heavy curtains warmed your back. Under different circumstances the spot wouldnât be the worst to find yourself abandoned in. At that moment though, your mind was restless, suffering from both embarrassment and guilt. Chanâs words hung in the back of your head. He had to forgive you eventually. Of all the things that could be said about your friend â he wasnât the one to hold grudges. Chan got over his little failures with a good night sleep, at least on the outside. Heâs never been the one to talk things out.
Black lacquered shoes appeared in a deformed form at the bottom of your glass. Flaps of a robe pushed through your consciousness. You could smell him, before looking up.
âYour date sure has a love for dramatics, huh?â A smirk sounded clear in his voice. âThatâs why you donât mingle with third-years.â
âJeonghan, if Iâd known you were going to come, I wouldnât have bothered.â
âAs if I would ever give up on a chance to upstage you. Especially at the most prestigious event of the school year.â He went silent for a moment. âThough, Iâve got to admit, I doubt anyone remembers my effective entrance now. You know, with how your date left.â
A part of you wanted to bite back. You were so used to it, the arguing felt only natural. But when your mouth opened, nothing came out. No sound, not even a sigh. Your memory brought you back to Chan and so you took a big swig at the cider. Jeonghan was watching you carefully the entire time.
âShouldnât you follow or something?â
âChan?â He nodded. âItâs better to leave him alone. He doesnât like being seen vulnerable.â
âPoor kiddo. But thatâs what youâve got to expect when mingling with third years-â
âOh fu-â You checked Professor Slughornâs profile. âfuck off, Jeonghan. Donât you have better things to be doing? Canât you see Iâm really not in the mood for bickering? What do you want me to say? Uh, you won, in whatever it is you wanted to win. There. Now leave me alone.â
Though you did your best to avoid his gaze, he still insisted on staring at your face. As if there was no audience to watch you, have they entertained the thought.
âWell, all Iâm saying is that-â He finally turned his face away from you. âUm, you should have just asked me.â
âAsk you? Ask you what?â Jeonghan scoffed without much humor.
âTo go to the party together, genius.â
There was no word to describe how you felt at that moment. The guy surely had to be joking.
âWow, your humor actually got better. Good job.â
Jeonghan stayed silent for a while, prompting you to look in the same direction he was staring. You werenât sure whether it was a group of attendees or a bookshelf that stole his attention. His lips twisted, eyes rolled in their sockets, tips of lacquered shoes met in a single clap.
âOf course, you couldnât possibly keep up with me. Iâm the life of a party, meanwhile youâre moping in the corner on your own, drinking cider as if you could get drunk on it. Quite dramatic.â
âThereâs nothing better for me to be doing right now, soâŚâ Someone coughed in the distance, distracting you.
When you looked back, Jeonghan was facing you again, his mouth opened. He was quick to close it under the weight of your gaze.
âYeah. Well, whatever. Sounds like a you problem. Now excuse me, Iâll return to people showing me some interest. You know, actually being fun⌠and somehow smarter than you.â
After one lasting look, you werenât sure how to interpret, Jeonghan turned on his heels and walked away, chin high the entire time. A group of nearby students, one of which seemed to be the person he invited, welcomed the boy excitedly. His departure left you colder than before. Maybe because his attention did good job of elevating blood pressure.
With everybody busy, you took your sweet time carefully refilling the glass with cider.
Saw your post about the ikon and seventeen pieces youâre working on and just wanted to say I canât wait! Love your writing!
Oh my god, sorry for not answering earlier :( saw your message and then got distracted. Thank you so much for support ;-; I'm working on them (posted 1st ikon group post), just struggling with wanting to post something of good quality meanwhile all my sentences feel like they were written by an 8 year old.
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â Requested! Beware of cringe. Regular text indicates readerâs lines, italics indicate the memberâs. The last scene for each member is meant to be angsty.
JAY
âUm-â *silence* âWhat are you doing?â âIsnât it obvious?â *silence* âI mean- Iâm not sure how to read this.â âCome now, babe. How can you be unsure?â âIs it sensual, or something?â â(y/n), Iâm a really patient person, I swear.â *silence* âIâm trying to make you lust for me. Not the first time during our relationship, may I add.â âAh, okay. I was unsure. Last time you didnât mean that and-â âOh, just come here.â
âIs my face that amazing?â âItâs fine.â âAy, donât spare me the compliments. What is the highlight of it? My eyes?â *pause* âPerhaps.â âDonât drown in them.â âWouldnât wish to.â *humming* âAh, youâre so taken by my beauty, you canât talk properly?â âYouâre ruining a moment we were having- I was having.â âOh no, do continue basking in my presence.â âIâve already lost interest, thank you.â
*laughing* âWhy are you laughing?! That car just sprayed a puddle of water on meâ *laughing continues* âAre you serious, Jinhwan?â *still laughing* âOh fuck off.â *hurried footsteps* âNo, babe-â *returns to laughing* âAh that was really funny though!â âIâm soaking!â âThatâs the funny part! Here, have my jacket.â *laughing* âI donât want your jacket.â âOh, donât be a grump! Appreciate the joy of random accidents in life!â
âYour feet are too cold! Do you really want me to suffer?â
âSo? Met up with the guy today as well?â âWhat the hell are you on about-â âDid you?â âIâve told you! Heâs a coworker and thereâs nothing going on!â âThe last time Iâve seen you two there were obvious sparks.â âNobody besides you saw them, so get your eyesight checked.â âYouâre super defensive about it.â âOf course- *shuffling* âYou know what? I donât have to listen to that, Jinhwan, and I wonât. Have a good night figuring out what you thought you saw.â *footsteps*
SONG
âWhat is this?â âA token of my appreciation?â *humming* âJust donât fall asleep yet.â âIâm not, Iâm keeping my eyes wide-open.â âI can see them closing.â *pause* âYunhyeong?â âTheyâre closing because Iâm relaxing.â âAlright. Iâm going to trust you.â âDo you ever not trust me? Ow!â âChange of topic!â âNo no, do elaborate!â âDo you want me to stop massaging?â *sigh* âYouâre the one working though.â âThatâs what I get for treating you â fights.â
âWhat are you thinking about?â âMe?â âNo, the agent listening to our conversation. Of course you.â *a snort* âBefore that terrible joke I was thinking about how much I miss you. Then you reminded me what youâre like in real life, so thanks for that.â âAw, Yunhyeong! Youâre missing me!â âThat was before-â âI miss you too. Phone calls make very little difference.â âEh you need to suffer a little before we get back together. So you can appreciate me more.â âIs that your way of telling me something?â âI donât knowâŚâ *laughing*
âUm⌠Yes. And with sauces Iâll get spicy and garlicâŚâ âYunhyeong!â âSorry,â *pause* âWhat is it?â âDonât forget the basil one!â âAh, yes. Iâll also have basil sauce for my darling.â *pause* âThank you. Goodbye.â *a beep* *light slap* âOuch! What for?â âFor embarrassing me!â âWith what?â âThe pizza guy doesnât need to listen to you calling me your darling!â âWell- Did I lie? I can call you darling whenever I want. And if he does have a problem- he better back off.â
âThere. Youâll be warmer now.â *smooching* âAnd donât say I never care, doofus.â
âIâve worked really hard on this evening. It was meant to be the time just for us â you know, a date?â âI know-â âYou never have time for me anymore.â âItâs not intentional.â âYou come home and youâre tired. Itâs the weekend and youâre still too tired.â âThe work has been a lot lately, Yunhyeong.â â I donât expect a lot. An hour at least. An hour of your time and Iâll manage.â âItâs not that I donât want to-â âIâm tired of excuses.â *sigh* âWill head to bed now⌠Good night.â
BOBBY
âHow do you look so warm?â *humming* âItâs Winter and youâre sleeping shirtless.â *rustling* âAre you cold?â ââŚYeah?â âCome on then.â *rustling* *shuffling* *snorting* âWatch your hands!â âWhat?â âYouâve almost-â âOh! Oh- Get over yourself, Jiwon. I was just reaching over to hug you.â âWhy are you so defensive all of sudden? Is that why youâve noticed my lack of shirt?â âMaybe cuddling was a terrible idea-â
âIs that- a band aid?â âThere? Yeah. I donât know how Iâve managed to hurt myself.â âBabe-â *shuffling* âYouâve got to be careful. Youâre bringing pain to my significant other and thatâs a big no-no in my book.â âAnd what will you do? I canât help being a klutz.â âNow thatâs just rude. Youâre not that klutzy.â âOh wow, way to make me feel better.â âWhat should I do about you then, hm? Wrap you in bubble wrap?â âMaybe itâd be the best for everyone.â *snorting*
âJiwon? Where- What are you doing?â âOkay, but am I a badass, or am I a badass?â *silence* âWell?â âWhat is this outfit?â âI call it The Badass.â âYouâre dressed like a pirate.â âMy point exactly.â âWhy are you dressed like that?â âWhy not?â âI mean- You know what I mean!â âAh, I know what this is about. Youâd rather have me walking shirtless, right?â âJiwon-â *pause* âWith a cleavage like that I can clearly see your chest and itâs not like I ever had a problem-â âLook at the puffy sleeves!â
âYouâre not going anywhere tomorrow. Iâve got you locked in a hug and thatâs not changing for at least 24h.â
âI donât know what to do anymore. Feels like the world is falling apart and Iâm just watching.â *shuffling* âYou mean- You feel like youâre not doing enough to stop it? You know, from falling apart?â *humming* âSometimes things get out of your control and thereâs nothing you can do.â *silence* âMaybe the right thing is to watch them, lean on someone else and strike after â with a fresh mind.â âThat someone else- Like you?â âFor example. But it doesnât have to be me. Whoever feels right.â *silence* âI am here, thatâs what Iâm trying to say. Weâre partners, after all. If thereâs anything I can do, I will.â
B.I
âHow do I look in this shirt?â âAre you being serious?â âYeah? So how do I look?â âWell- great. But you look great in everything.â âThat doesnât sound very genuine.â *footsteps* âBut whatever, just think. Youâre your parents and you see me in this. What is the first word, no, first phrase that comes to your mind? Son-in-law?â âHanbin!â âNo, donât hide! Tell me! Cooperate with me, (y/n)!â
âBad Hanbin! Stop stealing the duvet!â âAnd what are you going to do about it? Call me dog names?â âIâm cold! Youâre doing that just to piss me off.â âAnd?â âHanbin.â âYour angry face doesnât work on me. Iâm immune.â âWell, then stop!â *silence* âIâm getting annoyed. Do I really have to wrestle it out of your hands?â âTry me.â âYouâre not being cute. Youâre being an asshole.â *sigh* âWhatever Iâm going to sleep in the living room.â âOh, come on, I was just joking around-.â *shuffling* â- you baby.â âHanbin!â
âThat was pretty funny.â âNo! It was terrible! I donât understand how you can still laugh about it.â *pause* âSo how about this â I pay you and we never speak of this again.â âYou want to pay me?â âYeah.â âDonât be naĂŻve,â âHm?â âIâd take the money and still talk about it. Use it as a free law advice.â âYouâre demonic.â âYouâre the one who wants to pay your partner for silence, my dude.â âSo Iâve got to deal with all the misery?â âYou slipped on grass!â âAnd ripped my pants!â
âI know what you did last evening, (y/n). Donât think Iâll so easily forgive you watching the latest episode without me.â
*deep sigh* âHanbin, talk to me.â *long outstretched silence* âI know youâre not sleeping. Your shoulders are stiff.â *silence continues* âBabe-â *pause* âDonât push my hand off. Letâs be mat- no, reason-â âWhy are you stopping yourself?â *silence* âJust call me immature and unreasonable⌠Thatâs what youâre thinking, right?â *silence* âI think youâre being unfair towards me. And Iâm sorry if my choice of words hurt you. It was unfortunate.â *again, silence* âAlright, nevermindâŚâ
DK
âYouâre already in bed?â âHm? Yeah, itâs been a long day.â âYou shouldâve told me. I canât let you sleep alone.â *shuffling* âI didnât know you were tired as well.â âIâm not.â *more shuffling* âBut I canât let my favorite person grow lonely.â âIâm going to sleep. I wonât feel the loneliness.â âYou will, but donât worry, Iâm here now.â âThank you?â âYouâre welcome!â *smooching* âGood night.â
âListen- Listen!â âI was already listening!â âAlright, shh-â *laughs* âNo, seriously shh.â âDonghyuk, just get to the point.â âStop, stop yelling at me- But nevermind, Iâm going to talk now.â *silence* âI-â *laughs* âNo, stop laughing!â *choking on laughter* âThis is so stupid, what are we even laughing at?â âYouâve started it!â âYou wouldnât listen!â âAre you kidding me right now?â âShh-â
âOh, and this one is of me on the playground. That guy, right there? A total asshole. Heâs always been the character I wanted to be. Something about him being older and shit.â âAnd youâre still mad? To this day?â âYeah. He was a pain in the ass. Iâve never once had a chance!â *rustling* âYouâre naked on this one!â âI was a baby!â âTo be honest, a cute one.â âIf we ever get one, it will be even cuter.â âEw. I came here to have good time and make fun of you as a child.â
âBaby, stop acting. I know youâre not sleeping.â
âHow many times do I have to apologize? Iâve never had any bad intentions!â âIt doesnât matter anymore.â âIt doesnât? Then why are you acting like that?â âIâm not acting like anything, just get off my case. Iâm really not in the mood.â âOf course.â âWhat? What of course?â âItâs always the same with you. Never in the mood to talk about things that bother me.â âNo, the problem is that you never know when to stop and give people space.â âThatâs because I care and  want to talk it out!â
JU-NE
âStop acting like you hate when I do that.â âIâm not acting, I really hate that!â âBabe, look me in the eye and say it. See? You canât, because you love when I do that face.â âYouâre so annoying- Nobody likes overly self-assured people.â âYeah, just you.â âJunhoe!â *pause* *sigh* âJust donât do it in front of other people.â âAh, so itâs about jealousy? Babe, should have said so earlier!â âNo- I-â *rustling* âShh. Itâs alright. Iâve got you.â
âItâs the middle of the night. What the hell are you doing?â âI was hungry!â âSo youâve decided to start throwing pans around?â âI mean- I didnât intend to be loud.â âJun-â âI could really use a grilled cheese! Also, how can you be sleeping when Iâm struggling? I didnât have dinner and my stomach hurts, how do I sleep like that?â âJust eat before going to bed!â âYou were already in bed when I came back home!â
âDid- Did you just slap my butt? In public?â âAnd what about it? That buttâs been calling for me, babe.â âYouâre so embarrassing-â *footsteps* âI needed my revenge.â âFor what?â âFor that time two weeks ago.â *pause* âAt the mall?â âOh- Oh yeah.â *pause* *dull slap* âJunhoe!â âWoah, looks like your revenge was short-lived. Sorry babe, but Iâm the sheriff here.â âAnd Iâm the embarrassing one? Itâs not the last time youâve heard of me, you rascal!â
âWow I was about to say something really romantic and then realized youâre sleeping.â
âDo you really think that?â âWhat?â âYou know â that being with me is a chore. Am I that difficult?â *long pause* *a sigh* âNot really, I donât think so. I said that because I got caught up in the moment.â *pause* âBut sometimes I do get on your nerves, right?â âWell- Of course. But itâs not like Iâve been annoyed with anyone.â *humming* âWhat I mean is that, you know, I said the first mean thing I thought of and if you really were a chore to me, we wouldnât be together.â âThatâs true.â *silence*
CHAN
â(y/n), please stop.â âI donât know what youâre talking about.â âYes- Yes, you do.â *pause* â(y/n), the people from that table are watching us. They seem weirded out.â âNot my problem.â âOkay, Iâm the one struggling here. Iâm embarrassed. If you love me, stop.â âYou do realize it was the entire reason? Embarrassing you?â âI do. Youâre so funny, ha ha, point proven. Now please, stop.â *clatter* âDonât start with me next time. This is what my revenge looks like.â âIâm never going out with you again.â
âIâve been thinking-â âThatâs usually a bad sign.â *pause* âI will pretend I didnât hear that. Anyway, we should go somewhere next week.â âUh, you want me to leave the house.â âYeah, like you do, almost every day.â âThatâs different.â âIs not!â âWell, whatâs wrong with staying home?â âNothing, I just offered a change in plans.â *an extremely long pause* âChanwoo?â *dramatic sigh* âAlright if it makes you happy.â
*sigh* âThatâs it.â âOh, come on!â âIâve been patient, but this-â *pause* âthis is where my patience ends.â âItâs only 1 AM. Donât act like youâve never went to bed late.â âThis is different!â âI rarely complain when itâs the other way around.â âNot when you demand attention!â *silence* âAlright, I usually give in.â *silence* âUgh, stop with these stares. Youâre not proving a point.â âYouâre a hypocrite.â âWhatever, now come on, to bed.â *shuffling* âBut to turn the console off in the middle of me playing⌠barbaric.â
âYouâre still mad about not getting a good morning kiss? Really?â
âSo I say â just give up. I know you. I know itâs hard acknowledging a mistake. I also think that pulling me into dumb drama to hide behind my back isnât healthy. Neither for you, nor for them. Chanwoo, I wonât be here every time you get into argument. I wonât always agree with you, just because weâre together.â *a deep breath* âIn other words â letâs be adults. Acknowledge a mistake. Apologize, or at least think about it, I donât know. See you home.â *a beep*
ŕŠâĄâ§âË DON'T LEAVE ME LOVING YOU [angst, smut] â§â* superhero!au; iron man!yuta x f!reader ŕż ŕż*:シďžwc: 3.2k+ â part of this collab
summary: if there was one thing nakamoto yuta hated was having to watch people leave, the feeling of loneliness more frightening than any other â which was why he loved you so much, because you would never give him such treatment, right?
warnings: m/f smut; unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), creampie.
inspired by: lmly by jackson wang
a/n: this all takes place after endgame, and the final battle is what is referred here, the difference being that the neos are the heroes and that after everything that happened in the movie, iron man actually didn't die and captain america came back his normal age and not like a complete dinosaur :)
you felt your heart shrink in your chest, the way yutaâs laugh echoed so blissfully through the room in such an excited and careless way making you want to hit yourself in the head for being so heartless.
âif youâre gonna do it, do it later. let him enjoy his party for a little longerâ
johnnyâs words were whispered into your ear, the tone they were spoken on so low you almost couldnât catch them. you could sense how much he was judging you just by his voice, the way his expression was formed into a passive-aggressive unbothered one proving he most definitely didnât approve of your actions â but then again, neither did you, and for a second you considered forgetting all of it, considered dropping the whole matter and staying in a relationship with the man who made you happier than anyone ever could; but then you remembered the pain that had been consuming your heart for the past few months, how you felt so helpless back then knowing you could do nothing to help or attempt to protect your lover, the anguish and frustration that took over you so harshly, all of that being why you had to keep going with this. you knew yuta wouldnât ever look you in the eye again after this, knew he wouldnât ever forgive you, and for a mere second where the alcohol you had been sipping on seemed to finally work and make your thoughts nothing more than an incoherent slumber, you were okay with never seeing nakamoto yuta again.
johnny and taeyong were the only ones that knew what you were planning to do â taeyong because he caught you crying once and, being the nationâs savior that he was, just had to go check on you, ending up being able to force you to speak in the middle of your angrily salty tears; johnny, on the other hand, knew it because taeyong, for some reason, panicked when he realized what you were about to do and just told him, hoping his, quite literally, god-like ability with words would stop you from doing something as stupid as breaking up with the love of your life. moral of the story, despite all their best efforts, they didnât have success in their little mission, now reaching a helpless point where they just asked you to do it calmly, to not send yuta into some psychotic state that would make him go insane and do something utterly stupid.
contrary to what johnny and taeyong probably thought though, you did feel bad about leaving your lover in such a drastic way. it wasnât like anything had been building up to it, if anything, in the past few months you had been in a fairly good phase of your relationship, the only thing stopping it from being perfect, at least from your point of you, being the crippling anxiety that filled your every thought. your mind was always full of all the âwhat ifs?â. what if yuta hadnât survived; what if he didnât get so lucky again and didnât survive the next time; what if he was the one to leave you, would that hurt more as opposed to you being the one to make that decision? probably, and that was the only selfish reason you needed to keep going with your plan like you wanted to, feeling like a completely heartless maniac for preparing the way you would break your loverâs heart just so he couldnât break yours later on, although, truth be told, you knew yuta wouldnât be the only one who would end this night completely shattered if the way you wanted to cry so desperately just thinking about it was anything to go by.
you raised your wine cup to your lips again, letting the warm liquid run down your throat, hoping that maybe the temperature of it would make it sting a little less. it didnât, in fact, it only made everything worse â either that, or the way both taeyong and johnny were now looking at you from across the room just affected you more than you imagined it would, yuta sitting a few feet away from them with mark, both him and the younger boy laughing excitedly as they tried to raise johnnyâs hammer from the table, attempting to do it with the help of not only the mechanic hand from one of yutaâs suits but also with webs forms markâs own superhero costume, none having success, but neither seeming to care, seeming too happy for someone who had just failed a task. you almost felt threatened if you were being honest, the way their gazes focused on you so intensely combined with how taeyong gripped his shield in such a way it looked like he was ready to throw it at someone any second making you hug yourself out of unreasonable fear. you knew they wouldnât hurt you, they liked and cared for you too much to do that; but at the same time, you knew that yuta was like a brother to both heroes, the bond the three of them had being one you could never share with either of them, so for a second your fogged mind did wondered if they were willing to go as far as cautioning you with cautious sentences, or even doing anything worse than just throwing menacing words your way, just to stop you from hurting their friend. your thoughts were short-lived, however, the arms that wrapped around your waist making your heart stop out of pure panic, a feeling much different from the butterflies you were used to.
âwhy are you all alone in a corner? you should come hang out with us, iâm sure youâd be able to pick up johnnyâs stupid god of thunder hammerâ
yutaâs words, and the logic behind them, stung a bit too much taking into account what you planned to do, his sweet and loving tone all of a sudden hurting you as if it was a group of a hundred blades coursing through your whole torso. you laughed shallowly, lowering your head and faking a smile, trying to come up with some sort of excuse so you wouldnât have to be with yuta, his mere presence now causing you immense pain.
âiâm not really feeling it, iâm sorryâ was the only thing you could muster enough courage to say out loud, even that making you want to sob into the void.
âdo you wanna leave? we can go back home if youâre not feeling wellâ yuta continued, walking to stand in front of you, hands carefully touching your arms as he lowered his head to the level of yours, his beautiful eyes shining with pure worry.
âi just have a headache, itâs fine. i think iâll just go wash my face, maybe thatâll make me feel betterâ
that was a complete lie, but somehow, yuta believed it, letting you leave, but not before offering to go with you, to which you very obviously declined, your little escaped to a completely empty floor of the building being made exactly because you couldnât handle being with, or even staring at, him in the moment.
weirdly enough, and in a harsh contrast to all your past experiences, the darkness and loneliness you felt once far away from everyone was more comforting than it should. you felt empty, void of any emotions, and for once in your life, that seemed like an enjoyable feeling. it was what you would designate the calm before the storm, that thought making you wish you were even half as brave as yuta just so you could feel like you were able to fight through the pain that surrounded you, just so you could feel like you didnât need to leave him and could stop putting the false idea into your brain that a life without yuta would be easier; you knew it wouldnât, at least not for now, but maybe in a few months span or in a few years or decades, it would all feel better, and somehow that made up faith was reassuring, somehow making up fake scenarios in your mind brought you more solace than fighting through the pain for someone you knew was worth it.
âis everything okay? you seem weirdâ was the first thing yuta asked you once you were in the safety of your home, both of you walking to your shared bedroom side by side. as you went up the stairs, you stayed in silence, finally letting a single tear escape your tired eyes as you prepared yourself for the upcoming minutes. yuta, in his state of veritable oblivion, also didnât speak, misjudging the situation and assuming you were just searching for the right words to open up to him about your feelings, which, in a way, you were, just in a very distorted manner of what he waited for.
âi donât know if i can do this anymoreâ you whispered once behind the closed door of your bedroom, the photos spread around it that once gave you so much happiness now bringing you nothing but sorrow.
your voice was low, too low for yuta to hear and, for that reason, he needed to ask you to repeat again, which you did, the second time even more uncertain than the first.
âwhat?â was the only thing he managed to mumble, eyes already filled with fear as he stared at you, your form so retracted to itself you didnât even dare to look back at him, too worried it would make it all hurt even more. âwhat are you talking about?â yuta continued when no response came, starting to panic just like johnny and taeyong said he would.
yuta wasnât dumb. just judging by the way you spoke he already knew what you meant, but still, he couldnât accept it; he couldnât accept that you, the woman he loved the most in the world, the only one he had actually truly loved, the one who always stood by his side when it got too hard and gave him the exact reassuring words he needed to keep going, even if they were just a small âi love youâ, was shattering his heart so easily right before his eyes. yuta couldnât accept it, couldnât take the pain of realizing that the only person he thought would never leave him was about to do exactly that.
âplease, please my love, you canât- we can work through this, i donât know what youâre feeling right now, but please, let us work through it. we can do it, right? we have done it so many times before, iâm sure we can do it againâ yuta begged, walking to you and wrapping his arms around your torso, the warmth of both your bodies together being the only thing that gave any sort of peace to either of you at that moment, the feeling that there was still a chance being left behind wasnât the only option standing.
âi canât, yuta. iâm sorryâ you sniffled, a sob leaving your lips right after as you felt his arms envelop you tighter, that being his way of silently saying he wasnât gonna let you go that easily.
âyou can, i know you can. just tell me whatâs going on, pleaseâ
yuta kept on rambling, his begging words resonating through the room as he still held you, making you both cry to the point you felt exhausted, to the point neither of you could even stand up anymore and just fell to your knees, his arms still around you as strong as before.
âplease, please, pleaseâ he continued, looking at you desperately, brown eyes now tinged red as he begged for your mercy. yutaâs plush lips pressed to your forehead, more whispered pleadings coming from him being said as he still pressed his lips to your skin, then moving them to your cheeks, kissing both of them hopelessly, stopping right above your mouth.
âjust give me one more chance, pleaseâ yuta said at last, the interior of his mouth starting to feel as dry as a desert due to the fear intruding his mind.
you were tired, totally exhausted even. you wanted it all to stop, you wanted to stop time and just never make it continue again, just so you could stay in that limbo state and avoid anything else that could have happened after that moment, stay away from all the pain you could sense was creeping up your body, ready to inhale all of you in an overwhelming gulf any minute.
âi promise iâll be good, iâll make up for everything, just donât leave, pleaseâ yutaâs words kept going after you gave him no reply, his eyes falling shut as his forehead leaned against yours, waiting for the mercy he hoped you would show him.
another sob raised up your throat, an empty one that wasnât followed by any burning tears. your whole world was collapsing right in front of you, all because you felt too scared to go on, and for a situation you thought would bring you some sort of twisted relief, you were currently feeling more hopeless than you ever had in your whole life.
âi donât know what to doâ you admitted in the middle of it all, your voice stopping yutaâs ongoing thread of desperate promises, the way it sounded so raspy making him get worried. as if i deserve that coming from him, you thought.
âstay here, stay with me. weâll just forget this ever happened and work through it. doesnât that sound okay?â
you were wrecked, heart beating so fast but at the same time giving you the sensation it had sank into a deep hole, no longer keeping you alive. you felt so beaten you simply couldnât recognize any emotion coursing through your body, which was why, in a coward act led by the small bit of dignity that still managed to bubble inside you after what you had done, you allowed your head to fall into yutaâs shoulder, crying and sniffling into his shirt without professing any words, simply because you were scared to talk in the moment.
âiâm so sorry. iâm sorry i never noticed your painâ
more tears ran down your face, all sinking and dampening yutaâs clothes, as burning guilt crawled up your body. why was he apologizing when he had nothing to be sorry for? he wasnât the one to blame if you kept it all to yourself and didnât open up to him, and yet yuta, your loving, caring, and gentle yuta was the only one brave enough to say it out loud, even if his role wasnât to do so.
âit- it wasnât your faultâ you mumbled lowly as you looked up, your eyes starting to sting with more salty tears as you looked at yuta, his expression seeming to display the exact emotions you felt, the exact sadness and sorrow.
âit was. i didnât notice what was going on right in front of me, and iâm sorry. i promise iâll do better in the futureâ he replied right away, forehead pressing into yours once again before his lips ghosted on top of your own, delicately pecking you in a way that felt all too intimate, a sudden warm igniting inside you making a spark of comfort slowly spread within your body.
it all seemed familiar, the way yutaâs lips touched yours so softly, his hands going to hold yours in between his fingers in a way that made you feel like a porcelain doll he didnât want to risk breaking. as guilty as it made you feel, you could sense the love he was trying to put into his actions, trying to show you he wanted you around because you did deserve all of it and more.
your whole world felt like it was put into slow motion, a weird sense of serenity shyly spreading through the room and connection you and yuta as you both got up and laid down on the bed, his body hovering yours as he gently cupped your warm cheeks, bringing you closer and closer until you almost felt like one with him, both your clothes still creating a thin barrier neither of you wanted there.
everything that yuta did after that was buried in a velvety gentleness, all his actions calculated as he undressed not only himself but you, spreading kisses over the slightly dried out traces of tears on your face as he continued to pull you impossibly closer to him, looking into your eyes tenderly as he pushed his sex into yours, both of you sighing blissfully as your lips connected in another slow kiss, neither of you fighting for dominance as it was the norm for you most of the time; instead, you both just enjoyed the moment, taking in as much of each other as you could, the frightening feeling of not knowing what future awaited you or your relationship making you two want to cherish that exact instant as much as possible.
yutaâs hips rocked into yours at an almost reluctant pace, as if waiting for you to ask him to stop any moment â not that you were planning to do so any time soon. it felt intimate nevertheless, how time finally seemed to stop once your eyes were locked into one another, any hidden emotion shown on full display only for the other to see. you wanted to scream your love for yuta, even if that was the last time, you wanted to do it as loud as you could, just to make sure he would never doubt it; the moment was too peaceful for you to want to ruin it though, not wanting to risk losing the exact peace you had been craving for such a long time, so you just pressed your lips into yutaâs, hoping he would get the message, hoping he would understand you never wanted to hurt him, even if that was exactly what you did in the end.
the room felt hot, temperature rising as you felt a recognizable warmness bubble up in your core, your hips twitching and bucking up needily, the idea being understood by yuta as he moved his head away from yours, looking down and positioning his thumb right above your core, moving it in sweet circles over the sensitive nub placed there, soft moans leaving you as your high started to build faster. another peck was pressed into your mouth, the touch muffling both of yours and yutaâs pleasure-filled sounds as your reached your climaxes in almost a perfect synch, staying connected as pleasure flooded both your bodies, your forms trembling close to one another in pure bliss.
for the first time in that night, you felt happy, a sunny, bubbly feeling that scattered through your whole being unexpectedly by the thought that this wasnât the end, that the way yuta looked down at yuta with such love was a view you would see again, that his words from minutes ago were all true and you could fight through it together. suddenly, you didnât feel hopeless, the thought that you werenât going to be left behind by the person you loved making you and yuta smile at each other reassuringly, both hoping you werenât wrong for assuming you wouldnât be abandoned without as much as a warning from the other.
What did you have to hurt me for? This is so good, my heart stung! Honestly love your style, the entire thing was such a pleasure to read and youâre great at writing emotions! Also, thereâs nothing better than angst of the relationship between a superhero and his civil lover, thank you so much for writing about it. This vulnerable Yuta has opened a door in my head Iâve never considered before. Iâve always been team cocky playboy, but this... it just makes so much sense! Amazing!
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Though she may seem confident, Yeji cannot call you sweetheart in a tone louder than whisper. Sheâs embarrassed by the wordâs meaning alone, though she considers it perfect for you. In public sheâll limit herself to your first name. Sure, calling your loved one by a pet name isnât that much of a big deal in the modern times, but thatâs easier said than done. Only when Yejiâs sure youâre alone, will she put the right amount of certainty into her voice.
LIA
Jisoo doesnât limit herself to just one pet name, she has a whole variety waiting to be thrown at you. The most preferred one being pumpkin (thereâs a whole backstory to it), itâs a wonder she can say it with a straight face in front of your entire friend group. There are also the regular ones, like baby, babe, sweetheart. Sometimes, when feeling especially demonic, she may vandalize your first name, creating a super âadorableâ shortened version of it, but again, she must be in the right (evil) mood.
RYUJIN
Without a doubt, babe type of girl. And she isnât embarrassed by it, not one bit! It rolls off her tongue way too easily. So much that a sentence directed at you doesnât feel completed without it. Even in a context that speaks against any usage of pet names. Ryujinâs also a huge teaser, never once missing a chance at driving you a little bit crazier with her low voice when saying babe. Add a visual of her lying down with half-closed eyes for good measure.
CHAERYEONG
With Chaeryeong you can never be sure whether sheâs calling you honey jokingly or romantically. There are these small things you can look for before judging, but still, she can easily make a 180° once called out. Itâs safer to act dumb and make no comments regarding the pet name. If you prove yourself weak for the word, Chaeryeong will never let you live it down, sheâll be so dedicated to abusing the newfound power.
YUNA
Baby, baby, baby - youâd think Yunaâs dictionary is very limited, since she canât find other (maybe better?) pet names. Doesnât matter whether youâre older, taller, just generally bigger in some way, youâre still Yunaâs baby. When it comes to audience, she may feel a little hesitant and avoid addressing you with any type of name, your regular one included. First names are for arguing, not normal conversations. Also, as I said before, youâre still her baby.