nameless

It’s just so hard to trust someone again. When someone you trust the most destroyed the trust that you gave. It’s like when you let them in and hold you, you’re giving them the permission to break you once you trust them.

But that’s what love is, when you love someone you trust them that you will believe in everything that they say without any doubt, without asking anything cause you know that they’ll be honest to you and you know they won’t break that trust. You’re being confident that they’ll hold you with so much care it’s because you trust them and you love them. Some people don’t know how hard it is to trust someone, they don’t have any idea how hard it is to gain it and they’ll just break that trust without thinking. And what comes after that mistake is sorry without thinking of the damage they caused.

I’ll be a bride someday

I am imagining myself wearing a perfectly simple yet elegant sewn gown and a simple tiara while holding a bouquet of my favorite flower while walking through the aisle. I want it to be simple yet memorable because i know this will happen once in a lifetime and this is one of the most precious event of my life. I’ve waited for this day to happen, to marry the man i love and spend the rest of my life with him.

Back then, i was still young and naive, i don’t know anything about love. Until i grew up into a fine lady who once became desperate finding my prince charming just like what i’ve read in books or my knight in shining armor who can save me. But as i turn into a woman, that’s the time i realize i don’t need those fictional characters to find my better half, all i need is a true man who loves himself more than me, who loves and fears God and who prioritize his family more than anything else.

Today, i am going to marry the love of my life, my best friend, my comforter, the best man i’ve ever met, the one i will live with, the man i want to spend the rest of my life with, my better half. You are the one i want to see the first thing in the morning and the last when i close my eyes. You’re the man my dad would’ve wanted for his baby girl. The man my mom will wholeheartedly give her baby girl cause she know this man is responsible enough just like my dad.

Kung bigla nalang kaming nagiging moody. Kung bigla nalang namin kayong inaaway ng walang dahilan. May dahilan yan, gusto namin na lambingin ko kami. Hindi lang talaga namin masabi ng direkta kasi gusto namin na kusa niyo kaming lalambingin, kaya kapag hindi niyo nagawa, dun kami nagagalit. Jan papasok yung pag iinarte namin kung mahal niyo pa ba kami, o baka may iba ka ng gusto.

Kung sobrang selosa kami. Kung hanggang ngayon, insecure pa din kami sa mga naging ex-girlfriend niyo. Masyado kasi namin kayong mahal kaya sobrang takot kami na baka isang araw marealize niyo nalang na mahal niyo pa pala yung ex niyo at gusto niyong makipagbalikan. O kaya naman sa sobrang pagka-kampante namin, maagaw kayo ng iba.

Kung minsan, ang dami naming mga demands. Dapat ganito, dapat ganyan, dapat may surprise, dapat mag-effort. Pasensya na kayo kung minsan nagiging selfish kami at napapabayaan na namin kayo. Dapat naman kasi parehas na nag-eeffort, give and take dapat. Hindi porket ako yung babae, ako nalang dapat yung pinapagbigyan. Sorry kung minsan nakakalimutan namin yung mga dapat ginagawa ng isang girlfriend. 

Kung maarte kami. Kasi kahit girlfriend niyo na kami, insecure pa din kami sa ibang mga babae. Gusto namin na kami lang yung tinitingnan niyo, na kapag nakikita niyo kami masasabi niyo na maswerte kayo kasi girlfriend niyo kami, tsaka gusto din namin na maging proud kayo na kami yung girlfriend niyo at hindi niyo kami ikahiya sa pamilya at mga kaibigan niyo. Kaya ganun nalang kami katagal kung maligo at mag-ayos, nag-eeffort matuto mag make-up, at sumasabay sa kung ano yung uso ngayon.