Advice From Adults

"DON'T RUN AROUND WITH A KNIFE"

"Nothing good ever happens after midnight"

"Quiet time is good"

"Bring backup sunglasses with you on vacation"

"Write your own passwords down"

"Don't explain hashtags to people over 40"

"Don't spend $37 on a hat"

“Get redemption for a lifetime of ‘sins’ and then start all over”

"If you're a boy: don't piss in the wind. If you're a girl: also don't do that"

“Don’t wear Kate Spade sunglasses when you go paddle boarding”

"Get your dad a margarita and he'll do what you want"

"Don't listen to John after he's had 3 drinks"

"Don't eat the yellow snow"

"Teach your boys that if they're gonna go pee they have to lift the seat"

"If you're gonna eat vegetables, soak them in alcohol first"

"Don't drink and drive. Have an uber account"

"Don't eat undercooked meat"