The sun cracking through the shutters warms my eyelids, Like a thermometer the right temperature causing the muscles in my eyes to retract, My body and mind aching from the plethora of last night’s vices, I woefully promenade to the bathroom while the garments of the prior even subtract Preferred scalding hot water beats down in an effort to wash away my sins, And I’m left cemented in mediation on the fore coming travels and flickering aspirations for a pleasant foray, When my consciousness abruptly retains the onset of bad karma with voyages rarely ending in grins, Leaving my deduction about my fortunes seem evident by the proof of countless hours in delay. My attire complete I search for documents that display the passage of tide, Quest fulfilled and organized I leave for the street to behold the taxi patiently waiting, The driver revels in my origins conjuring conversation on freedom fighters jailed during apartheid, And as I arrive at the concourse ominous clouds leave me in a state of constant contemplating. Like incarcerated prisoners foreign populations cue up for their destinations, The feminine obsession with density is impersonified onto the luggage they carry, Imitating bulimics contents newly introduced are quickly removed while patrons struggle with patience, And feeling a wave of uneasiness ascending yet lacking Calgon I resort to auditory devices to ferry. We passengers are shepherded to the point of disregard for personal space, And I emulate the action of stripping alloys as they are seen as taboo instruments to be carefully examined, Unwillingly subject myself to being seemingly cossetted by hands while attempting to keep a straight face, The professional job choice for a predator must be TSA certified actively remedying their sexual famine. The unfamiliar faces all seem to share the same shade of being violated, Like a bunch of Haphepphobics the experience breeds foresight of therapeutics usage, While others dawn a look of being perturbed as items they forgot existed leave their eyes dilated, And as the visual inquisition comes to an end you hope you’ve kept some dignity left within your image. Complete again I start to make my way to my gate of departure, The concourse resembling a traffic jam riddled with judgmental and approving facials, My eyes wander to see some Jefferson’s upgrading lifestyles yet still judged by their culture, Who are across from some sure Walton’s being praised when no form of ethics took part in their financials. My need for literary stimulation forces me to stop at a convenience store, And I eye a publication with no connection with size but reads double XL, I procure non-kosher refreshments complimented with a soft drink as the TV displays humanities latest war, And while pondering over when society fell from grace my soul shakes when my eyes gaze the sight of a mysterious belle. She caught my gaze while positioned inside my flights designated seating area, Like a focal point all manners of species became blurred out leaving her in focus, Almost completely surrounded by male compeers each time she smiled the crowds zeitgeist shifted to hysteria, And with every minuscule action all paternal attention descended on her like a swarm of locust. Left feeling like I’m stuck in a 90’s movie and her name should be destined to be Mary, I slowly staggered across the sea of people like Moses to the Promised Land, Usually unfazed by the fairer sex each step decreased my confidence as I began to feel wary, Dawning the characteristics of an introvert I sheepishly sat myself and examine my issue off the bookstand. With my food devoured arose my dilemma of having to walk past the belle on my way to the waste bin, Futily attempting to control my disposition of a school girl I safely make it to the waste avoiding eye contact, As I made my way back I overheard her comment about my favorite artist causing me to look up and contently grin, And as if she noticed me for the first time her eyes pierced my soul leaving me frozen until I regained the strength to act. Feeling mentally flustered I managed to make it to my seat while perceiving myself as an imbecile, My conditioned worsened when I took my eyes off my shoes and saw her looking at me with a smile, Surely a facial expressing the mocking for my earlier deer like ordeal. Resolved by my failure to positively gain her attention my eyes were resounded to looking at objects only in my aisle. As time passed a feeling of covetousness reigned as I wished I was close enough to experience her scent, When God’s will surely prevailed when the ticket agent announced our flights delay over the loudspeaker, Disgruntled patrons flocked to the agent help desk but I noticed a notable traveller was absent, She was still in her seat surveying the scene and when her eyes came towards my direction knowing I had no cover made my knees weaker. Channeling the wisdom of an ostrich I buried my head in my back pack to make myself disappear, And as I was rummaging for nothing I heard the sweetest voice ask “May I read that after you’re done?”, Ambivalence filled me up as a realized it was her causing my mind to switch from hopeful excitedness to total fear, I replied positively which prompted her to sit beside me and though it was my wish I remained as cautious as Icarus should have been to the sun. I presented the publication which she took with her left hand and stretched out her right hand for introductions, I sheepishly gave my name and she replied that she was Helen which gave me visions of storming beaches in attempt to make her mine, With not even a glance at the magazine she continued revealing that she was a ballerina on her way to the Empire state to participate in productions, I followed suit remarking about my field in behaviorism which should prove useful at my ancestors funeral who was taken by time. Our conversation ranging from preferred colors to guilty late night cravings lasted till our fellow passengers began to return, A part of me knew my audience was only needed as a last resort and when she rose up my assumptions ran true, When I saw her pick her things to move next to me my shocked look prompted her to playfully rub my arm saying “You have much to learn”, And for the first time in years it seemed possible that my feeble heart might wear a different shade than blue. The scientist in me finally came alive as I began to analyze the beautiful blessing in my presence, She had the kind of eyes that never judged and stayed warm enough to divulge any insecurity with no qualms, Her skin was a tan you could never manufacture but more a benefit of her obviously complicated heritage not seen from a distance, The sort of full lips that the creator would of made for simple beings to praise in written psalms. Yet with all her visual blessings there was an obvious sorrow that resonated deep in her soul, And when I inquired about it an air of relief came over her as she quickly wiped away a falling tear, Sensing a need for a more intimate setting I offered to accompany her on a stroll, Chivalrously following the path of the cliché with my hand stretched out saying “You have nothing to fear”. When we began to walk she simply began by remarking about a family we saw having it all, And her constant smile was her attempt to try and shield the scars left by apathy, Ashamed to be a product of the Electra complex she attempted to exhibit the emotions of a doll, Yet searching for that missing part left her with paternal issues in her mentality. As I looked at her I remembered all my failed relationships that had deadened my hope, Like I had spent my entire life waiting for understanding and it had arrived with her façade of happiness, Never the one to need a label yet I would change my last name to Kent in an attempt to help her cope, And use my newly acquired strength to someday carry her over a threshold with family privy to witness. I gave her parts of my soul that had been buried under years of false vanity, Spoke of my dreams and fears coupled with my flaws and indiscretions but all was taken with affection, Divulged on family issues, lost friendships and broken promises that would have made most question my sanity, Alas our two world’s insanity seemed to bring us closer and for a moment all was perfect until the ruckus began from our departure section. We began to retrace our promenade back to our gate as the voices rose to levels of dissatisfaction, Reached close enough to realize our flight had been cancelled leaving certain patrons stranded, The desk agent spoke over the loudspeaker to inform us all of the airlines next action, Earlier connecting patrons would return home while the rest would wait till the next flight landed. From the instant the instructions were complete the look on her face painted the picture, Our triste had run its course and she would have to depart to return another day, I filled with anger, disappointment and sadness a foreign kind of mixture, My eyes fighting back any sort of moisture and my mouth with no words to say. The airline instructed those who would remain to collect our things and relocate to another gate, My hope to be able to spend any excess time with her was sorely crushed, We both gathered our things to embark on different paths as laid down by fate, And she wrote down all of her information and told me to contact her even though my positivity had been flushed. Therein began the longest second as I stared at her and wondered whether I would be allowed to steal a kiss, The coward in me resurfaced and I meekly leaned in to simply give her a long embrace, My mind lapsed and all I remember is walking away from her left to reminisce, And I was the one who was left to quickly wipe away any form of tears off my face. I sat down in the new waiting area feeling disgusted in myself, For all the talk of being able to act when true love would finally be in my reach, The idea of uncertainty caused me to cower and left me to put my romantic self-back on the shelf, I was the definition of a priest who never truly feels or lives his words but only equipped to preach. Was this the ending of what seemed so close to being perfection? It seemed that those who act are destined to remembered like Romeo and Juliet, While the rest of us are left to ponder as we feared the possibility of rejection, And as my plane landed and I boarded the only emotion I felt was regret. twitter : @Nyrobieaga IG : @Nyrobieaga
