i have a wild theory
ok so like
in the books there were some deliberate ambiguity of certain timeline of certain events on DH’s parts, like different descriptions of masked balls that didn’t seem to fit together or different mentions of taking taxi to the opera on different occasions, and we’ve all agreed that it’s very possible there were more than one masked ball, and also beatrice and bertrand took a taxi to the opera in different occasions
now consider the ambiguity of the time of jerome and esme’s marriage
in tua, geraldine’s letter to esme, geraldine mentioned eleanora just fired lemony and she also did some research for esme about jerome
the vineyard of fragrant d/grapes had a “married after only one evening together” description on the photograph they designed for jerome and esme
jacques letter begging jerome not to marry esme mentioned a death at lucky smells lumbermill and hiding in a village and a couplet
listen … what if …………………. jerome married esme ……………….. twice
so once upon a time, jerome and jacques and beatrice were friends. jacques begged jerome to buy the penthouse of 667 avenue, and jerome did. they went hiking up mount frought together, a trip that ended with beatrice being carried away by eagles and jacques attacked by snow gnats, all in all, not ending well. there were some tension between them for a while and jacques and beatrice didn’t contact jerome for a while.
enter esme squalor, who found out about jerome and his large penthouse and large fortune, with geraldine’s help. she “ran into” jerome at cafe salmonella, they Married After Only One Evening Together.
beatrice and jacques found out, the firefighting side panicked at esme squalor having access to the penthouse, and beatrice thought up a way break up the marriage. beatrice also stole esme’s sugar bowl.
esme spent the next few years chasing after the sugar bowl and also she and olaf got closer during these time because they both hated beatrice.
jerome lived in the penthouse alone after the divorce, jacques visited him often.
years later, esme heard about beatrice’s death, and thought that without beatrice around it would be easy to trick jerome into marrying her again, because the first breakup was mostly beatrice’s doing. (sure, jacques was there, but esme always felt the biggest threat was beatrice.) she successfully fed jerome some sob story and how if they ran into each other again more than a decade later then it must be fate, and they were destined to be together. this time, they Remarried After Only One Evening Together.
jacques: …………………………….. what have i done to deserve this
jerome and esme are getting married, cafe salmonella just made its way back into the innest restaurant of the city, it’s like the [insert decade of ersatz elevator timeline minus 15 years] are coming back again
extra theory: firestarters / esme set the snow gnats on Jacques and eagles on Beatrice so they couldn’t interfere with Esme and Jerome














