Forget me never

My neighbor moved out a year ago. I used to share a moment with him. Looking at him through an illuminated window like he was looking back at me. All I see is his sillolett so who is watching who. I see him stand there. For those moments I am still. I stare him down. Something deep in my heart wants him to feel my gaze on him. Feel my small hands dragging him by his feet to hell. Can he feel me? Can he feel the burn he left in my mind? Can he feel the burn of my gaze. Maybe if I stare long enough people will blame him for being stalked. I know you are a creep. I see you standing in your window with your boxers on and I wonder if I got you hard. Are you watching me right now? Can you still see me? Because I am still watching you from my window. My neighbor moved out a year ago.

They all told me that I wouldn’t become like my mother if I didn’t want to. That I could find it in me to fight off her abusive traits and anger. But I feel it rising out of me like a plague. I can’t control it no matter how loud I hear myself scream from behind my own skull. I feel so alone. Someone help me