POLYGON’S UNRAVELED SENTENCE MEME ( part two )
CASTLEVANIA’S SEXIEST MONSTER
“ or at least i THOUGHT it would be nice! ”
“ so i ate a chicken sandwich… DRENCHED. ”
“ that was very educational and extremely entertaining. just kidding. it was boring as hell! ”
“ i am going to throw myself into the sea. ”
“ why are vampires always the hot monster? ”
“ that! was! a joke! i’m not! gonna do that! ”
“ we all know that dracula is hot. ”
“ that’s not a monster. that’s a bird. ”
“ i went back and forth on these, and then i realized: they creep me out. ”
“ anything unique can be sexy. ”
“ you should be wary of anyone who builds their personality around swords. ”
“ obviously, the name makes it sound bad. …it also is terrible. ”
“ he might kill you. but! he also might open up and be really lovely. ”
“ they’re also ripped as hell. ”
“ if you’re not attracted to this, you’re wrong. ”
“ you can’t just name your child your name backwards! ”
“ and if someone comes up and introduces themself to me as duke mirage, my pants are already off. ”
“ and if you’ll excuse me, i’m going to go throw myself into the ocean now. ”
“ there is no better place to make a friend than on the battlefield. ”
“ safety fan and bureaucratic wunderkind. please address me as such. ”
“ and unfortunately there isn’t an o.s.h.a. guide to bloodsport. ”
“ because, when you walk into an unknown space, i want the first question on your mind to be, ‘am i safe to smash?’ ”
“ that’s probably just an underground fighting ring, which is another form of illegality. ”
“ just put one wet floor sign, anywhere. and i’ll let it slide. ”
“ i’m ignoring the fact that they’re fighting on top of a jet. ”
“ they are designed to harm and kill you. ”
“ you don’t need me to tell you it’s broken. ”
“ i couldn’t give a shit about death. ”
“ again, i could not categorize that. but i know he shouldn’t have been there. ”
“ anything that i say is just a drop in the ocean of discourse. ”
“ they called me a fool, but do i look like a fool to you? ”
“ you can’t make me do that. legally. that’s not in my contract. ”
“ i have not been in a pure mathematics class in about five years. ”
“ i’ve figured it out! which means that no one has to write anymore goddamn think pieces about this topic ever again! ”
“ this is a lot of research into things that really have very little meaning. ”
“ why should we even be defining what is and isn’t art? ”
“ shit. i ran out of space. ”
“ hope you’re not as big of an asshole as the last few of your friends. ”
“ …no. i stand by that decision. ”
“ it was supposed to be prop water! ”
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