100% foolproof

for a moment I thought maybe I was actually working on something with plot and political intrigue and then I looked at my notes for future scenes and realised, no, it is a romantic farce, and the world tilted back into balance. other bits under this tag!

It's probably not a skill he should be proud of, but Noctis is really good at avoiding things he doesn't want to deal with, which means that he manages to spend less than 15 cumulative minutes alone in the presence of Prince Aldercapt in the week following their initial, coldly formal meeting. He's pretty optimistic about maintaining this state of affairs - the 76th King had famously spent no more than three weeks in the company of her king consort throughout their entire 40-year marriage - until the evening a Citadel attendant breathlessly chases him down with a summons to his dad's study.

In which Noctis discovers a new kink. The kink is "my best friend wearing my clothes". Written for the kink meme.

sticking this here for archiving! if this was a long fic Noct’s chapters would basically be hella stupid romcom shenanigans while Prompto’s are, like, confused guilty pining, like one of those pictures which is a vase or a woman depending on how you look at it. Noct is the vase, probably. and also, some of that scene mentioned in the notes on ao3. 

Breathing was kinda hard when you had your face mashed into your forearm and part of your classroom desk, but then just being alive was kind of a chore the first morning after the weekend, so Prompto contented himself with sweet, dark suffocation. Or at least he would have if Noct hadn't called out from behind him, sounding way more awake than he usually did 20 minutes before homeroom on a Monday.

folks on the kink meme continue to be geniuses and heroes! so many prompts with crazy good ideas for prompto being the prince of niflheim /slams keyboard MY TIME HAS COME haha just kidding you dont want to see me try to plot a long fic

first random bit was here

Later, Regis would be gratified that his court was at least disciplined enough to only start shouting after Chancellor Izunia swept out of the room.

"This is not a treaty," Minister Scientia said, leaping to his feet and slamming one palm on the heavy wood with enough force that Regis saw ripples across the surface of his wine. The people who thought that the Scientias operated solely on cool logic and strategy had clearly never worked with any. "It is an insult!"

"Marry Lucis' only heir to Aldercapt's second son?" Councillor Hutton continued in agreement. She stayed in her seat, but her knuckles were white as she gripped the edge of the table. "If they intend to end the Lucis bloodline, they could at least do it with an honest blade - "

"How dare you suggest that in front of his Majesty," someone else shouted, which was all the cue that the council needed to dissolve into chaos.

Regis briefly wondered if any of the warhammers in the royal arsenal would function as satisfactory gavels, but quality wood was hard to come by these days, and it would hardly do to make the housekeeping staff suffer because he couldn't keep his own people under control. He sat in silence, instead, allowing the commotion to wash over him, and raised a hand when the arguing lulled.

"I've heard your concerns," - loud, varied, and interspersed with curses as they were - "And we will reconvene in two days for my decision. Dismissed."

"But your Majesty - !"

"Dismissed," Regis said.

When the last of the council members had filed out of the room, Regis looked up at Clarus, who was staring straight ahead, impassive, unyielding, and always a source of strength.

"What do you think, Clarus?" he asked.

"It's more than likely a trap," Clarus said. "Should anything happen to the prince on our soil..."

It made sense. It was a strategy seen time and again, in history. It was nothing that Niflheim was above. And yet -

"No," Regis said tiredly. "You know as well as I do. The empire needs no excuse to invade. They haven't needed one for a long time."

He took a short breath. For once, the chill in his bones was not from the ring.

it is a simple fact that the folks on the kink meme are geniuses and heroes

Behind him, he can hear Gladio yelling for him to slow down, get back - but Noctis ignores him, warps the last few metres to the door of the throne room and bursts inside. He doesn’t know what he expects to see. He knows what he fears, but - 

The throne room is not destroyed in the aftermath of a bloody battle. Prince Aldercapt isn’t laid open on the floor, which was Noct’s best case scenario five minutes ago. His father isn’t - his father is fine, sitting straight and regal on his throne, Clarus at his shoulder while Noct’s would-be fiance kneels on one knee before him, head bowed, flanked by Highwind and that strange magitek soldier.

“Dad!” Noct calls out. He’s vaguely aware of Gladio and Ignis coming to a halt just past the door. “What - ”

His dad lifts a hand and for once, Noctis obeys the order for silence. Aldercapt cranes his head back, blue eyes staring straight into Noct’s for a moment before he returns his attention to the king.

“This is gonna be kind of hard to believe,” Aldercapt says, the words tumbling from his mouth in a nervous stutter, “I mean I probably wouldn’t believe me myself but - ”

The magitek soldier raises its arms and Aldercapt cuts himself off, but even as Clarus’ hand falls to the hilt of his sword and Noctis tenses in preparation to summon, all it does is take off its helmet to reveal tightly braided blonde hair and... a face so achingly familiar from news clips and rare photographs carefully pressed between the pages of their shared diary.

“What he means, your Majesty,” Luna says, “Is please, just hear us out.”

“Luna?” Noctis says in confusion. It feels as though the world has just turned upside down, but it’s almost a relief compared to the panic and desperation of the last half hour. “Why are you - what’s going on?”

Highwind makes a short, contemptuous noise. “Haven’t you figured it out, Highness?”

I imagine that the mayor and his late wife had a doting, fairytale romance and marriage, and he’ll never remarry but he lowkey worries about his daughter growing up without a mother, and Chloe is invested in having a fairytale romance of her own because it’s what she knew and also as a way to reassure her father. objectively she knows it doesn’t make sense but she’s a teenager (younger, when her mother died) and grief makes people fixate on weird things. and you don’t really get much more fairytale than Adrien, childhood friend, fashion model, modern day prince.

I don’t even LIKE Chloe, and also watch them have enough budget in season 2 to animate mrs bourgeois and ruin all this, lol.

“You know your father won’t care,” Adrien points out. “He just wants you to be happy.”

“Yes,” Chloe says. Her words acknowledge his point and her tone declares her intention to ignore it. “It’s really too bad you don’t like boys,” she continues. “Then we could just cover for each other, and it’d be perfect.”

Antibug: You can’t do anything without Chat Noir!

Ladybug: Well yes, okay, but... why would I ever need to?

basically

Adrien: Look, Chloe, you can continue alienating the people around you, or you could date Sabrina. I know which one I’d choose.

(also striking is that the one time we see him use it for a non-destructive purpose, he does it without any prompting)

and it’s probably stressful to have this expectation and responsibility placed on her but ladybug shoulders it and takes it seriously. like they’re stuck in a bubble halfway through to the stratosphere and when chat noir is like “you couldn’t have told me to use cataclysm earlier??”, her rejoinder isn’t “wtf are you snapping at me for, it’s YOUR power,” it is “well we can’t be stuck here forever”