i wonder

inspired by / alt. ending to fake dating mingyu by @saythename17scenarios - read it here

a/n: i know this is so so so late but i’ve just been in a rut with how to continue this lately. i did it though, and i hope it’s not disappointing! let me know what you think! 

part one  part three? [let me know!] masterlist words: 1.7k genre: a little fluffy i guess? but angst. bc what else would i write lol summary: you continue to fake-date mingyu, your best friend you’re actually completely in love with but he’s found someone else.. for real now.

you brought a shaky hand up to press on your temples as you tried to collect your composure. at the same time, your legs seemed to give way and you sank down to the floor as your mind bombarded you with the worst thoughts of mingyu being absolutely disgusted at the thought of you liking him.

when your roommate returned to take you out for pizza, she found you sitting on the ground, shreds of the piece of paper lying around you.

when she asked you what was wrong, you numbly responded, telling her what had happened.

she knew you well enough to leave you alone for a while and ordered the pizza to be delivered to the room instead but when she placed a plate in front of you, you just let it go cold.

your mouth was dry and you didn’t know what to think of the fact that your friendship with mingyu might have been over, all because you stupidly fell for him and couldn’t keep it in.

over the next week, your roommate spoiled you with your favourite food, tubs of ice cream and the softest throw you’d ever felt in your life. she felt extremely guilty for making you like this, seeing as it was her who got you to write your feelings down.

she’d apologised about twenty-two hundred times and even offered to talk to mingyu for you to find out how he felt but you refused.

you had to talk to him yourself.

can i see you? you texted him, holding your breath while you waited for him to reply.

sure. usual spot?

ok, 20 minutes.

inspired by / alt. ending to fake dating mingyu by @saythename17scenarios - read it here bc i just had to add angst to it- p.s. i hope you don’t mind me doing this, i just really loved the series!!!

part two masterlist words: 2.8k genre: angst. i live for heartbreak. summary: you continue to fake-date mingyu, your best friend you’re actually completely in love with but he’s found someone else.. for real now.

ever since the kiss he’d surprised you with at the spring festival, you’d been itching at another kiss but so far, it’d just been light kisses on cheeks, noses, foreheads in doorways of classes or in the halls for people to see.

one day while at the coffeeshop he worked at, you sat in front of your books, twiddling the pen in your hand distractedly. you’d tried studying but your eyes kept flitting to your “boyfriend” making drinks - his arm muscles tensing as he grabbed the full milk jug from the fridge, the look of intense concentration plastered across his face while he skilfully created a heart with foam over a customer’s latte.

after he finished a particularly long line of drinks, he leant over the counter where you sat to rest, trying to read your notes upside down. his face inches from yours, you could see a clear sheen of sweat across the back of his neck and forehead and you reached out to wipe it for him with your sweater sleeve.

he looked up as you did that, grinning cheekily. “thank you, darling.” he said, emphasising the pet name he’d given you as your “boyfriend”. your cheeks flushed slightly and you could feel your heart rate picking up, wishing he meant it.

part one masterlist

words: 2.6k genre: angst + a teensy bit of fluff at the end summary: as with the people wrongly convicted of crimes, you felt betrayed, hurt, anger, sadness, as the people you thought knew you, didn’t really at all.

a/n: if you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know i absolutely suck at regular updates but i hope this will suffice as an apology for not updating in so fucking long :)

you weren’t sure how long you’d sat on the cold floor of the dance studio after the boys left, trying to stop your tears from flowing and getting yourself to breathe normally again. you only got up when a staff member entered to call to you bang-pd’s office.

the sense of foreboding that hung around you like a blanket didn’t leave as you took a seat in front of bang-pd’s desk. the man looked solemn, a change from his usual jolly face.

“i hear there’s been some sort of.. trouble between you and the boys and jiyeon?” he asked.

you sighed. “with all due respect sir, i didn’t have anything to do with jiyeon’s injuries.” that was all you managed to say. you were tired of trying to explain everything else.

bang-pd leaned forward over his desk, his hands clasped together in front of him as he himself let out a huge sigh.

“even if you did not inflict those bruises on her, right now, you are the main issue that’s preventing the whole thing from being resolved.” he paused, pursing his lips together as if he was about to regret his next words. “i’m afraid i’m going to have to ask you to leave your position at the company. i won’t have the boys so caught up in this issue when they could be spending their time more wisely." 

part two masterlist

words: 3.3k genre: angst. i literally only know how to write angst. summary: as with the people wrongly convicted of crimes, you felt betrayed, hurt, anger, sadness, as the people you thought knew you, didn’t really at all.

a/n: the oc might not come off as very likeable but i wanted her to be a more realistic character. she’s exhibiting emotions normal people would exhibit if put in the same situation so bear with her, bear with me :)  also, i’m finally done with finals so i’ll have more time to actually write now and i’m excited to properly run a writing blog.

you’d always been pretty brash. loud, often obnoxious, a little immature. but that was what the people around you loved about you. and it was a side you only managed to show because you were so close to the 7 boys.

it was no secret you could be a little bitchy, one thing you absolutely could not stand was rude people - rude waiters, people on the street who gave glaring looks even when it was obviously their fault for walking into you. but then again, your joking, impulsive mannerisms could also be seen as rude to other people. people who didn’t know you as well. 

and liars - god, liars were just awful people. especially those who lied at the expense of others. you felt for the people wrongly convicted of murder. of course, your situation hardly came close to being put in prison for a crime you did not do, but it felt as dramatic. you felt the betrayal, hurt, anger and sadness of the people around you as those wrongly convicted must have felt as well.

190118 Hoseok’s Tweet

잘 다녀올게용 ✈ 💕 🤩 😘 

We’ll go and come back safely ✈ 💕 🤩 😘 

🐰imitating his hyung

yoongi: <unbothered>

“Will you hang on a second I—what are you doing?” Jimin calls after you and you whirl on him then. And if he thought he would find tears in your eyes he was sorely mistaken—they were glassy alright, but tinged with an almost terrifying amount of fury and intense hatred. Jimin finds himself taking a step back, “Woah.”

“What am I doing? I’m putting on jeans,” You seethe, throwing the stupid skirt he had forced you into across the room, the fact that you were only in a pair of spandex didn’t seem to faze you nearly as much as it did him.

“Look, I get that what happened at the party it’s not the ideal outcome—“

“I was humiliated,” you hiss, tugging on your favorite pair of jeans—they were loose enough that you didn’t have to unbutton them after every meal like you did with the ones jimin had forced you into.

“I get that,” his jaw clenched at the reminder, fist still throbbing from where he had attempted to put it through Jeon Jungkook’s skull, “and I’m sorry. But Jungkook is not worth giving up the new you—“

“I hate the new me,” you shout, before ripping drawers open and throwing all of the shiny, uncomfortable clothes Jimin had stocked them with in the process, “This has nothing to do with Jungkook, don’t you get that?”

“I don’t, so why don’t you help me understand?” Jimin grits out, yanking you back by the wrist so you were forced to look at him—or rather up at him. “I thought you… we were having fun. I thought you liked being popular.”

“I did, for exactly one minute and then I realized I never hated myself Jimin,” you say quietly, “I didn’t need you or this stupid makeover. I like wearing jeans because skirts make my thighs chafe and I like wearing make up and heels and all that other shit on my terms. I never hated me, you did.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Jimin scoffs and it is because it was the exact opposite. He loved you, he didn’t know how to tell you, not two weeks ago when he realized it when you came back from your date with Jeon Jungkook—one he had arranged, surely not now while you were fuming at having been subject to his unsavory advances at the party.

“It’s not,” you laugh, “I was happy. There were times where I didn’t like myself sure, but I’m not a charity case. I’m human. The things I’m feeling are normal. Sure I had a crush on a guy who was out of my league but I realized that if I had to sacrifice myself to get him then I don’t want him…. and the same goes for you.”

“I—what?” Jimin’s panicking, it’s not something his familiar with. Not with anyone. He was calm, cool, collected—he didn’t chase after girls, people.. they chased after him. So why was it that your suggestion had him on edge.

“We can’t be friends when you seem to think that every part about me needs to be madeover. I thought we could be,” You whisper, eyes wide and … hurt as they stare at him, “I liked going to the mall with you and I liked you quizzing me on things I really didn’t care about. And I realized I just liked being with you. But at what cost? All of me?”

“___, no,” he says immediately and it’s a sight you never thought you’d see. Park Jimin—they Park Jimin, looking almost pleading as he grips your shoulders. A month ago you were positive he wouldn’t have even known your name, never mind th fact that you had gone to the same school as the guy since pre k, “I only did all that stuff because you wanted to be with Jungkook—I was trying to make you his ideal girl. I wanted you to be perfect for ….. him.”

“No, Jimin, you wanted me to be perfect for you. You made what you liked, what you wanted to see. You think I’m stupid?” You say, crumpling the makeup wipe you had just used to wipe off your mascara, “I get it. I have a great personality. I see the way you look at me, the way you… touch me these days. But I don’t look like someone you’d date, and I realized that the second it stopped being about what Jeon Jungkook would like and started being what you would like.”

“That’s not true—“ Jimin pleads and you put a hand up.

“Do you have feelings for me?” You ask bluntly and he feels his heart drop to his stomach. It’s a long pause that follows, a silence that tells you all you need to know about Park Jimin. “Would you still have feelings for me before all of this? Before this stupid makeover.”

“That’s not fair—“ he argues.

“It’s not. Life’s not fair, Jimin.” You scowl. “Life’s not fair for people like me. For people who look like me. But I don’t care that most people won’t find me desirable or worth their time until they hold a conversation with me, that’s exactly what happened with you. There are a lot of worse things to be than not found desirable by men. For instance, someone who judges someone based on their looks.”

“Oh come on,” Jimin says and you can tell the second his defensive mode turned on—you knew him like that knew. Knew his ticks and how he lashed out when he felt backed into a corner like now. You were calling him on his shit but he was too proud to admit that he was shallow, that he had fallen for you because you were funny and smart and into things he was into and he liked when you fell asleep on his couch during movies, and how you brought him soup when he was sick (hungover), and how you had understood him and his dreams and wishes in a way no one ever could. He was too shallow to date someone who didn’t fit the checklist he had in his head and now that you weren’t cooperating what was he to do? He was already in love with you, he just didn’t know if he could love all of you and that hurt more than any humiliation you were subjected to at the hands of Jeon Jungkook. “Are you that naive? It’s not called love at first deep, intellectual, conversation about our dreams. People don’t fall for personalities off the bat, okay they fall for looks, whether or not you want to believe it. Sue me for not knowing you were everything I wanted until I spoke to you.”

“You’re unbelievable you know that?” You laugh bitterly. “Don’t make me sound like I’m crazy. I’m right, Jimin. You’re so full of yourself and your flashy lifestyle—God, you take twenty minutes to decide on an Instagram filter before you post a picture.”

“And you take less time trying to decide what you want on the value menu at a drive through.” Jimin retorts and the words are out before he can fully process them but the regret is instaneous, the flash of disbelief and then hurt on your features was enough to make his heart stop. Was he a dick? Yes, and regularly. Jimin would be the first to admit that. Now did he comment on girls weight to their face—that was another ball park entirely and he was positive even Satan would look at him with disgust were he in the room right now. He wasn’t that type of person, but something about the way you were looking at him, the way you had him pinned so accurately, made him feel no bigger than a maggot and apparently you were right.

Jimin’s eyes flutter shut in defeat, his hand coming to scrub down his face in frustration—his tone however is soft, apologetic, “I didn’t mean that—“

“And I bet it just eats at you,” you laugh quietly and when Jimin opens his eyes you don’t even look sad, if anything you look pissed. Disgusted. Done with him. “That you fell in love with the kind of girl you wouldn’t look twice at.”

Love.

You knew he loved you and somehow it shatters him furtherc, made this entire situation worse.

“I’m so happy you showed me who you were before I had the chance to fall for you right back,” you say matter of factly, brushing past him to get to the exit. You stop with your hand on the door. “For the record, Jimin I would never date a boy like you. I’m too good for you and I will always be too good for you, no matter what you tell yourself at night.“

You were right. You were so right it steals the breath from him. Park Jimin wasn’t sure what he expected when the truth came out, but it certainly wasn’t you, looking at him with nothing short of hatred in your eyes. Of the two of you, he was well aware that he had been dealt the losing hand. You were special, everything about you—the truth was he was positive that in your life you would stumble upon more Park Jimin’s, beautiful boys who would fall for you and your tinkling laugh and the way you made them feel so at ease, the way you made them want to do more, be better. Boys who thought they had nothing more to offer than a pretty face, and you would show them things about themselves they didn’t realize were there.

But there was only one you. Park Jimin would never find another you, and that’s the part that ate at him. How easily replaceable he was in comparison to you.