the prodigal failson

High key the nut vids use to be crazier. Wjht happened?

Nobodys busting hard no more

He’s got a point here, you just don’t see it anymore.

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

im kidna anti sex, not in a prude way but in like a weird kinky way

im kinda sex averse not in an asexual way but in a ive never done it before and im scared way

husband wants to see the bathrooms movie and i know im going to hate ittttttt but i wanna see itttttttttt

im gonna go see it tomorrow. its gonna fucking rule. when he steps into the backrooms for the first time im gonna be covered in popcorn, coca-cola and cum i'll be screaming so loud

the theatre was full of stupid fuckwit dipshit fucking moron teenagers chatting loudly through the entire movie and yet none of them laughed when i yelled "BACKROOMS JOCKEY" when he first walked thru that wall. kids these days are fucking hopeless

ill yell backrooms jockey when i go see it 🫡

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

im thrusty

thirsty

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this

today is june

Stop fucking pandering to minority communities for fake internet points you bigoted degenerate I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hou I hate you I hate you I hates you I hate y

happy month

being the type of person to read books would probably be awsome

have we considered reading books my liege

nah there kinda boring

have we considered reading books with fun pictures in them my liege

i bin reading manga lately and i like the pictures in that

that is wonderful my liege my heart sings with joy at these glad tidings

yayyy