we are the daughters of the women you couldn’t sell to one direction

I wish to purchase goods and services without entering a blood covenant that entitles the provider to email and text me forever and also store a bunch of my personal data that they’re going to apologize for exposing in a breach in the next five to ten years

don't like auto-flush toilets. like excuse me I'll tell you when to swallow

she’s only 23? she should be indoors using the computer

“manhole cover” umm I think it’s just called underwear lol

I want my husband to have this accent

alright, that’s fine, that’s pretty con-fucking-venient 

Old people love to own two identical ugly as shit dogs

my brother’s grandma has been buying the exact same identical dog for like 60 years and naming each one boochie. I hate its immortal suffering.

WHWHAHAHAHAVEGEDHDHWHAHAHAHA

grandmas love to have complexes