Let me settle the 'is it fetishism and is it bad?' debate once and for all:
Being attracted to any kind of body is normal. Fat bodies. Trans bodies. Disabled bodies. All normal. Being extra attracted to a specific kind of body is normal too. Totally normal to have a type.
Not unlearning the societal stigma attached to those kinds of bodies, the people who inhabit those bodies, and the people who fuck them, to the point where you do any of the following:
Only want to date/fuck the person in secret.
Reduce the person to the feature that you desire and ignore the rest of who they are as a person.
Expect the person to be a walking porn fantasy instead of a real person with their own sexual preferences and boundaries.
Would no longer love the person if the stigmatized aspect of their body changed.
Consider yourself superior to the person, think the person should be 'grateful' that you love their body, etc.
See the person as a temporary adventure while planning to eventually settle down with someone whose body isn't stigmatized.
Is bad and harmful and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you've worked on your shit, because this makes you a very terrible partner.
This doesn't mean you are a bad person with bad-fetishist-desires who can only desire people badly, it means you need to unlearn societal stigma so you can be a better partner to the people you desire.
Thank you for coming to me ted talk.
